My life.
I am not sure why I want to post it, just some things I have been thinking about. I am wondering if I have attained some part of "The American Dream" and if it has made me happy. The furthest thing from my mind is bragging, in fact I think I am trying to disprove some reference set to the word "sucess."
My salary alone is over the median household income in the country. I am 22 and have graduated from a fine University with a very respectable degree, and then obtained something easily turned into a carrer. I have all the basic possesions needed for extremely comfortable living, plus a few others that are in excess of the above. I have a all appropriate insurances, I am already contributed over twice the average to my 401(k) to secure my retirement, not to mention the life insurance to help my family if I were to die saving puppies, or blind people. I eat very healthy, excercise at the gym a few times a week, and take care to go all the appropriate MD's the appropriate number of times per year. I have seen most of the country, I've worked the earth with my hands, I've built, I've seen, I've conqoured. I am attractive enough to have self esteem about it and to attract those of the opposite sex. I've swam in the ocean, climbed mountains, been to rock concerts, outragous parites, had philiosophical discussions in coffee houses till sunrise, drank myself silly, rode roller coasters, dug for ancient artifacts. It goes on and on. I have a beautiful, smart, entertaining, girlfriend who shares with me intrests, goals, ideals, and attitudes. I have a wonderful dog, an addition to the farm animals, lizards, snakes, turtles, hedgehog, rabbit, cats, fish, and rodents I have had. No one in the world has ever been surrounded by such amazing friends as me. All so unique, smart, beautiful, and creative. I've felt love, passion, anger, hate, elation, depression, seen life and death. All a part of me, all of whom I've gleaned some of my personality from. It has also all come by me fairly easily and quickly. Not so easy as born with a silver spoon, but not so hard to make me truly struggle either. Most of the things on this list I have done in the past 5 years. 100 years ago this list would be reserved only to the elite. On the one hand, I have had and have everything anything anyone could ask for. But then there is the other hand. The had that slaps me and asks, what's next? Do you feel succesful? Have you ever truly done anything great? I talk to the hand. I tell it I don't know. I tell it that it was a cheap joke to say, "talk to the hand." The truth is I am scared that I have lost focus. I don't have any more goals. I am not sure what is important to me. I am having a midlife crisis at 22. I am not exagerating, I have been trying to buy a car to make me feel better. I feel like I am doing or have done most of the things I am supposed to, but it still seems to come up short. I just don't have a clue what I am looking for. I guess maybe this is the first thing I will ever really have to work for, and maybe that will make me feel better when I find it. I wish I could just believe christianity totaly then I would just have to tell people about god and feel truly accomplished. I think there is more to it than that. We'll see.
My salary alone is over the median household income in the country. I am 22 and have graduated from a fine University with a very respectable degree, and then obtained something easily turned into a carrer. I have all the basic possesions needed for extremely comfortable living, plus a few others that are in excess of the above. I have a all appropriate insurances, I am already contributed over twice the average to my 401(k) to secure my retirement, not to mention the life insurance to help my family if I were to die saving puppies, or blind people. I eat very healthy, excercise at the gym a few times a week, and take care to go all the appropriate MD's the appropriate number of times per year. I have seen most of the country, I've worked the earth with my hands, I've built, I've seen, I've conqoured. I am attractive enough to have self esteem about it and to attract those of the opposite sex. I've swam in the ocean, climbed mountains, been to rock concerts, outragous parites, had philiosophical discussions in coffee houses till sunrise, drank myself silly, rode roller coasters, dug for ancient artifacts. It goes on and on. I have a beautiful, smart, entertaining, girlfriend who shares with me intrests, goals, ideals, and attitudes. I have a wonderful dog, an addition to the farm animals, lizards, snakes, turtles, hedgehog, rabbit, cats, fish, and rodents I have had. No one in the world has ever been surrounded by such amazing friends as me. All so unique, smart, beautiful, and creative. I've felt love, passion, anger, hate, elation, depression, seen life and death. All a part of me, all of whom I've gleaned some of my personality from. It has also all come by me fairly easily and quickly. Not so easy as born with a silver spoon, but not so hard to make me truly struggle either. Most of the things on this list I have done in the past 5 years. 100 years ago this list would be reserved only to the elite. On the one hand, I have had and have everything anything anyone could ask for. But then there is the other hand. The had that slaps me and asks, what's next? Do you feel succesful? Have you ever truly done anything great? I talk to the hand. I tell it I don't know. I tell it that it was a cheap joke to say, "talk to the hand." The truth is I am scared that I have lost focus. I don't have any more goals. I am not sure what is important to me. I am having a midlife crisis at 22. I am not exagerating, I have been trying to buy a car to make me feel better. I feel like I am doing or have done most of the things I am supposed to, but it still seems to come up short. I just don't have a clue what I am looking for. I guess maybe this is the first thing I will ever really have to work for, and maybe that will make me feel better when I find it. I wish I could just believe christianity totaly then I would just have to tell people about god and feel truly accomplished. I think there is more to it than that. We'll see.