Ever had a bad day and it only got worse?
Life sucks and then you die.
That saying is either brilliant or utterly retarded. I have these anxiety butterflies in the pit of my stomach because I thought I was going to hang out with some people today and it turns out they didn't talk to me the entire day - but I kept texting them - and now they have plans. That just sucks. I had a freak f*cking Awful day today, all I wanted to do is hang out with some familiar faces. Guess not.
It's cool though, don't get me wrong, it only seems like I'm jealous. Though, it's more like you were excited for Christmas and saw the gifts under the tree, then you went to sleep and woke up and there was no tree, no decorations, no nothing and your parents don't even know what you mean by "Today is Christmas, what happened?" they stare at you puzzled, in a daze exchanging quick glances back and forth with each other. Then they ask you, "What's Christmas?" That's how this feels. Except I'm not six and It's not un Christmas.
I can't shake this horrible feeling of anxiety. I can't sleep with it, because it's uncomfortable. I just hate everybody, because everyone wants to help, but no one lifts a finger. I want to just go off on everyone, but talk to no one. I want to hurt everyone as badly as I'm feeling hurt, but stay composed. I want to die a thousand deaths just to see what it feels like, but never leave the earth.
This almost indescribable feeling of angst and animosity towards the whole of the population for selfish reasons, just feels like its reached its peak. What I once felt was my solace has now become my plague. I almost feel as if no where is safe.
bleh, I've said all that I possibly can, yet have said nothing.
I'm leaving, now.
That saying is either brilliant or utterly retarded. I have these anxiety butterflies in the pit of my stomach because I thought I was going to hang out with some people today and it turns out they didn't talk to me the entire day - but I kept texting them - and now they have plans. That just sucks. I had a freak f*cking Awful day today, all I wanted to do is hang out with some familiar faces. Guess not.
It's cool though, don't get me wrong, it only seems like I'm jealous. Though, it's more like you were excited for Christmas and saw the gifts under the tree, then you went to sleep and woke up and there was no tree, no decorations, no nothing and your parents don't even know what you mean by "Today is Christmas, what happened?" they stare at you puzzled, in a daze exchanging quick glances back and forth with each other. Then they ask you, "What's Christmas?" That's how this feels. Except I'm not six and It's not un Christmas.
I can't shake this horrible feeling of anxiety. I can't sleep with it, because it's uncomfortable. I just hate everybody, because everyone wants to help, but no one lifts a finger. I want to just go off on everyone, but talk to no one. I want to hurt everyone as badly as I'm feeling hurt, but stay composed. I want to die a thousand deaths just to see what it feels like, but never leave the earth.
This almost indescribable feeling of angst and animosity towards the whole of the population for selfish reasons, just feels like its reached its peak. What I once felt was my solace has now become my plague. I almost feel as if no where is safe.
bleh, I've said all that I possibly can, yet have said nothing.
I'm leaving, now.