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[mrchuck]

I really wish things could have gone differently. I wish they could have gone more smooth. I'm sorry I did it the way I did. I guess that it doesn't really matter now, just that it had to be done. I couldn't go on the way we were going. Niether of us was happy. You being away had nothing to do with it. Theres a lot more I have to say but not

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[mrchuck]

Well if your actions aren't my concern anymore then so be it. I remember saying I love you, and what you don't know is that I still do. But we are just too different. I remember promises, and those promises being broken at least 3 times that you admitted to. So hey I guess if something happens three times thats just the way its going to be. If you "break edge" three times you must not be meant to be edge. If thats the case then theres no reason for me to want to be with you and be able to trust you since you can promise one thing, decide to change your mind, go behind my back and do things that I thought you were never going to do again, and lie to my face about it. If you've done it three times I don't see how there is any chance of you actually keeping a promise. I tried. That night at shannon's I should have left you puking in the bathroom. That night at brandon's I should have left you to find a ride home. I should have done those things but I didn't cause I had hope. But you killed that hope. I still can't go a day without thinking about you somehow. I still can't go to sleep without praying for you. I still don't know if what I did was right. All I know now is that I don't haev to worry every two seconds that you might be doing something harming to yourself.

[_____emergency]

its not like im slitting my wrists or sleeping with every boy up here. you have my number, im not discussing this any further over the internet.