(no subject)
I need someone to talk to for a while. I have lots of friends that I could talk to, but I don't have the time to meet with them one on one and talk for a while. The friends that I do have time to meet with aren't the ones I want to talk to. I'm really complacent and unfocused lately. Rather sad and lost, too. I keep wanting to write something but I cant quite find the words. I keep finding myself pretty depressed and I just hope things will get better. Get better from what? I don't know. But I'm not happy. Why am I not happy? Nothing is preventing me from being happy, but nothing is making me happy either. I'm not satisfied with this empty feeling, this apathy. I want someone or something to love. I'm getting sick of everything. I don't want to be here anymore.
The sad part is that I know all of things would get better if I just talked to God and prayed. I want to, I really do. But I can't pray more than a word or two. I don't know why. Just, "God, please..." I know what I want to say and I can actually put it into words. But I can't pray it for some reason. I can't say it to Him. That makes me so sad I don't know what to do with myself. I don't even know why I can't do it. I'm not mad at God. I still believe in Him. I want to love Him. I can't do anything anymore. Without God I feel like I'm just drifting through life. I don't know why I'm typing this. I have to swim soon. Goodnight. Pray for me, please.
The sad part is that I know all of things would get better if I just talked to God and prayed. I want to, I really do. But I can't pray more than a word or two. I don't know why. Just, "God, please..." I know what I want to say and I can actually put it into words. But I can't pray it for some reason. I can't say it to Him. That makes me so sad I don't know what to do with myself. I don't even know why I can't do it. I'm not mad at God. I still believe in Him. I want to love Him. I can't do anything anymore. Without God I feel like I'm just drifting through life. I don't know why I'm typing this. I have to swim soon. Goodnight. Pray for me, please.