Independence hurts.

[mrbroom]

People who think firecrackers will blow off your fingers are way off-base. You probably have to hold them in your fist for that to happen, and no one does that. What happens is you light off a bunch of bottle rockets, whose fuses burn relatively slowly, and then you light a Black Cat, whose fuse is made of toilet paper, and you don't let go of it anything like fast enough, and it makes you think you're going to look down and see missing bits. What you actually get is a brief numbness in your two fingertips and then a sizeable blister on the side of your thumb. And then you leave the firecrackers the hell alone.

But when you get offered a roman candle to hold in your hand, you take it, because it's fourth of goddamn July, which is a day when learning lessons can go to hell.