(no subject)
Lately my thoughts have been rather morbid. I'm not conciously upset or saddened by anything--in fact I'm quite happy--but I find myself conjuring violent, disruptive thoughts and images in my mind's idle meandering. It began several days ago when I was stricken with an inability to sleep and I began thinking about how horrible it would be to become suddenly afflicted in some manner that you're whole body would be paralyzed. I think the worst part would be having to face your friends and family as they saw you for the first time. In my mind I could picture their faces. What a horrible thing.
Earlier today I found myself wondering what it would feel like to get shot and what my reaction would be. I came to the conclusion that it would be quite painful. I imagine it's not worth it.
I desperately want to save someone.