Dear Rod...
Today while sitting in my dressing room waiting to go on, I couldn't help but wonder why the hell I'm still doing this after all these years. I've got more money than any one man could ever spend. I'm THE most famous game show host of all time. I've got my beauties, my mansions, my dashing good lucks...
Why am i walking out on that stage day after day? Why do I still pretend to care about the overweight women from Iowa that won a new Honda Civic playing 3 Strikes(c)? Have these people never driven a 2006 Rolls Royce 101EX? If they had, they wouldn't be so goddamn exited about a crappy Honda Civic.
Besides, it's not the same without you. I mean, the black guy's good, but he's no Rod Roddy. I asked him to at least try on one of your jackets but he just kept going on and on about how weird it was for me to even ask him to do something like that. I've tried talking some sense in to the execs at CBS, but they wouldn't fire him. They wouldn't shut up about his "contract." Sure he may have a contract, but I'm Bob Barker!!!
Sorry Rod, I'm starting to ramble. I just wanted to let you know that things aren't the same without you. I miss you more than words can describe... more than i miss Dorthy Jo (God bless her soul.) I just wish things ended differently with us. I know you were mad I didn't visit much while you were in the hospital, but I thought you would have understood the importance of filming that "Million Dollar Spectacular." And then there was all the press involved. If anyone should know you can't do Rosie without doing Regis, I thought it would have been you. But apparently my absence hurt you and for that I'm sorry.
I will use your memory to help get me through my final years as host of America's longest running game show. I just want you to know that each time I grab that tiny microphone or get a kiss on the cheek from a very average looking midwestern women, I'm doing it for you.
Love Always,
Bob
p.s. - don't forget to tell all of God's angels to have their pets spayed or neutered. It helps control the pet population.
Why am i walking out on that stage day after day? Why do I still pretend to care about the overweight women from Iowa that won a new Honda Civic playing 3 Strikes(c)? Have these people never driven a 2006 Rolls Royce 101EX? If they had, they wouldn't be so goddamn exited about a crappy Honda Civic.
Besides, it's not the same without you. I mean, the black guy's good, but he's no Rod Roddy. I asked him to at least try on one of your jackets but he just kept going on and on about how weird it was for me to even ask him to do something like that. I've tried talking some sense in to the execs at CBS, but they wouldn't fire him. They wouldn't shut up about his "contract." Sure he may have a contract, but I'm Bob Barker!!!
Sorry Rod, I'm starting to ramble. I just wanted to let you know that things aren't the same without you. I miss you more than words can describe... more than i miss Dorthy Jo (God bless her soul.) I just wish things ended differently with us. I know you were mad I didn't visit much while you were in the hospital, but I thought you would have understood the importance of filming that "Million Dollar Spectacular." And then there was all the press involved. If anyone should know you can't do Rosie without doing Regis, I thought it would have been you. But apparently my absence hurt you and for that I'm sorry.
I will use your memory to help get me through my final years as host of America's longest running game show. I just want you to know that each time I grab that tiny microphone or get a kiss on the cheek from a very average looking midwestern women, I'm doing it for you.
Love Always,
Bob
p.s. - don't forget to tell all of God's angels to have their pets spayed or neutered. It helps control the pet population.