(no subject)
I don't understand myself with people anymore. So routine and my need to feel something special in every moment just causes me problems. Lol it's either I push something to be more than it can be at the wrong time. Or I don't even bother to have any form of bonding with anyone or anything around me. I dont understand this mental block im having. Another life limbo I suppose...
Being in town does nothing for me. Few close friends and visits to the family are all I really care about when I look back. I wish I could just stay out of town. It's funny how when Completely alone, there is a feeling of comfort. Being home around all these ppl just makes me feel empty. Maybe it's just loneliness, can't tell really. It doesn't feel how I remember it should.
Lots of confusing moments of/in passionate intoxication. I'm to okay with it and that's the problem. But there are no nice girls that can put up with me. Hipster girls annoy the shit out of me. Some have this stinch of insecurity and desperation that their possible great qualities are just so masked it can't even be sensed by me. God and the stupid middle school fucking mind games. I just turn off in my head instantly, if I can not control walking away. Not to sound like I'm awesome catch either. I think I could greatly improve myself all around. I have my own handful of problems. I want to treat women nice and as put them on a pedestal for all to admire....., but some just won't have it. Yet again others I could at times wish the latter.
Found out I'm 14% of people 4 times over. Haha god I love my complications.
Still enjoying the he'll out of my new explorer. Had it a good while now, but man do I love driving it everywhere. One camping trip down. So looking forward to the river next, I need to feel it's waters again. Heal this two years without.
Cara moved back officially yesterday. Pretty sure she was under some clouded state of mind, but hell so was I when I had to move back home. I'm just glad my family is the type to always help you start over. That's something that I know a lot of ppl never get to have, a fresh start.
Still having really vivid weird dreams. Grown to like them. Just wish they didn't hype me up so much. Make me want things I can't have or do.
Be happy, life isn't that hard.
Being in town does nothing for me. Few close friends and visits to the family are all I really care about when I look back. I wish I could just stay out of town. It's funny how when Completely alone, there is a feeling of comfort. Being home around all these ppl just makes me feel empty. Maybe it's just loneliness, can't tell really. It doesn't feel how I remember it should.
Lots of confusing moments of/in passionate intoxication. I'm to okay with it and that's the problem. But there are no nice girls that can put up with me. Hipster girls annoy the shit out of me. Some have this stinch of insecurity and desperation that their possible great qualities are just so masked it can't even be sensed by me. God and the stupid middle school fucking mind games. I just turn off in my head instantly, if I can not control walking away. Not to sound like I'm awesome catch either. I think I could greatly improve myself all around. I have my own handful of problems. I want to treat women nice and as put them on a pedestal for all to admire....., but some just won't have it. Yet again others I could at times wish the latter.
Found out I'm 14% of people 4 times over. Haha god I love my complications.
Still enjoying the he'll out of my new explorer. Had it a good while now, but man do I love driving it everywhere. One camping trip down. So looking forward to the river next, I need to feel it's waters again. Heal this two years without.
Cara moved back officially yesterday. Pretty sure she was under some clouded state of mind, but hell so was I when I had to move back home. I'm just glad my family is the type to always help you start over. That's something that I know a lot of ppl never get to have, a fresh start.
Still having really vivid weird dreams. Grown to like them. Just wish they didn't hype me up so much. Make me want things I can't have or do.
Be happy, life isn't that hard.