Death

[mrblackwood]

I've known for years that both of my living grandparents have been drifting closer to death. They've both been in and out of the hospital for quite some time and their health has been fading as they've grown old. My grandmother has been in such poor health recently, that we've known that it was probably a matter of months rather than years. I didn't expect it to be quite yet though. Yesterday, my Grandmother died.

My feelings about it are odd. I know that I'm not as upset by it as some people are by death, but I'm more upset than I expected to be.

I have always believed that death is a peaceful thing. Not the act of dying itself, but the nothingness beyond. I believe in no afterlife, and believe that nothing exists beyond this mortal coil. While I know that this isn't a comforting thought to everyone, it is comforting to me. Thus, in a detached way, I find it strange that I'm at all upset by her death and release from her painful fading health. I suppose that no matter how much I may intellectually believe that it was the right time for her to die, grieving is a way for the living to feel loss, not a way to be upset on behalf of the dead.

Regardless, I'm leaving for the funeral sunday night, and I'll be back next week.