The sweet silky caress of poetry
So apparently, a fan website held a competition for the best acrostic poem about Natalie Bassingthwaighte. Which is a tricky feat given the many many letters in her name. The winner received a photo of Natalie. Not much of a prize. It's not like photos of Natalie Bassingthwaighte are rare. Anyway, this was the winning entry (with thanks to Nadine Cohen for clueing me in):
No one rocks quite like her
As Izzy she caused a stir
T.V Host that rocks the set
A voice you can't ever forget
Listens to 'Xanadu' before a show
It's us fans that help her grow
Entertains and rocks the crowd
Betty & Michael should be proud
Actor in a new film called Prey
Superstardom is on its way!
Sisterhood with Nicky Moore
In your local book store!
Nickelodeon host for 2008
Garnier Nutrisse ads all looks great
Tour dates are on their page
Here come the drums! was all the rage
With The Rogue Traders she can't do wrong
Alone, going solo her career will be strong
Involved in charities like Beyond Blue
Going it solo is her dream to pursue
Had her Birthday, where everyone sung
The gorgeous girl, Thirty Three years young
Enjoy the fame coz you're my number 1!
So this is my version:
Never underestimate Natalie Bassingthwaighte
As she is all-powerful and all-knowing
To us she appears beautiful and young
And yet she is many centuries old and dwells beyond the stars
Like Jesus she watches over us
In her magical interstellar Popemobile
Elves dance about her feet, because she's a little bit like Santa also
But don't think Natalie Bassingthwaighte is all goodness and light
As we all do, she has a dark side
Sometimes she likes to torture baby rabbits
Sometimes she rapes turtles
I don’t know why she does these things
Nobody knows why
Guess she had a terrible childhood
Terrible things must have happened to her when she was a little girl
Hell on earth is one way of describing the atrocities visited upon her
When she was innocent and defenceless
And so it's no surprise she now purveys her own unspeakable cruelty
I’m scared of Natalie Bassingthwaighte
God, I’m so fucking scared that she’s going to hurt me
Help me
Tell someone, she has me locked in a cupboard and I smell burning flesh
Evil! Evil! Evil!
No one rocks quite like her
As Izzy she caused a stir
T.V Host that rocks the set
A voice you can't ever forget
Listens to 'Xanadu' before a show
It's us fans that help her grow
Entertains and rocks the crowd
Betty & Michael should be proud
Actor in a new film called Prey
Superstardom is on its way!
Sisterhood with Nicky Moore
In your local book store!
Nickelodeon host for 2008
Garnier Nutrisse ads all looks great
Tour dates are on their page
Here come the drums! was all the rage
With The Rogue Traders she can't do wrong
Alone, going solo her career will be strong
Involved in charities like Beyond Blue
Going it solo is her dream to pursue
Had her Birthday, where everyone sung
The gorgeous girl, Thirty Three years young
Enjoy the fame coz you're my number 1!
So this is my version:
Never underestimate Natalie Bassingthwaighte
As she is all-powerful and all-knowing
To us she appears beautiful and young
And yet she is many centuries old and dwells beyond the stars
Like Jesus she watches over us
In her magical interstellar Popemobile
Elves dance about her feet, because she's a little bit like Santa also
But don't think Natalie Bassingthwaighte is all goodness and light
As we all do, she has a dark side
Sometimes she likes to torture baby rabbits
Sometimes she rapes turtles
I don’t know why she does these things
Nobody knows why
Guess she had a terrible childhood
Terrible things must have happened to her when she was a little girl
Hell on earth is one way of describing the atrocities visited upon her
When she was innocent and defenceless
And so it's no surprise she now purveys her own unspeakable cruelty
I’m scared of Natalie Bassingthwaighte
God, I’m so fucking scared that she’s going to hurt me
Help me
Tell someone, she has me locked in a cupboard and I smell burning flesh
Evil! Evil! Evil!