NATURE'S BOUNTY
“God created woman, but the devil, he invented Brigitte Bardot”
All women are beautiful, but it’s also true that some women are more beautiful than others. Nature hasn’t been fair in dividing the wonderful curves and contours equally that make these most wondrous of Gods creations so very, very special. Some of the err…lesser endowed seek the help to make the curves more curvaceous.
Working in an organisation that is predominantly female one sometimes accidently hears (or eavesdrop?) on the most bizarre stories.
Lady Mary Hogbin was relating the sad tale of a, let’s say, not totally perfect artificial enhancement to some colleagues that I found quite funny.
It’s about “The Bombshell” who consulted a plastic surgeon for a third breast enlargement while a female acquaintance of Lady Hogbin was also in the surgeon’s rooms for a Botox injection. Let’s name this acquaintance Betty Boob to protect her identity and also to prevent a possible court case for slander, breach of confidence and some similar shit.
The plastic surgeon, Dr Fantastic Plastic, offers eternal youth through Botox injections, a tuck and lift where needed or a little implant to correct nature’s stinginess. Betty Boob was visiting Dr Fantastic Plastic for a bi-annual Botox injection when the Bombshell entered the rooms.
A bit empty up top previously, The Bombshell now gives Pamela Anderson a run for her money with a rack of double D’s. She was quickly hustled into the nearest examination cubicle while the rest of the patients, including Betty Boob, waited for the magic of Dr Fantastic Plastic well past her appointment time.
A harassed looking Doc flitted in and out of the waiting room a couple of times before ushering Betty Boob into an examination room and apologetically asking her if she could wait a few minutes longer.
Almost as soon as he left the door opened again and Il Dotore asked: “Would you mind taking a look at something please?” Shrugging, an unsuspecting Betty Boob walked with Dr. Plastic into another examination room where the naked Bombshell waited.
“What do you see?” Doc asked.
“Hhm, a nice set of boobs,” Betty answered without blinking.
“Look again,” Doc insisted.
“A very nice set of boobs,” Betty replied.
With a weary sigh Dr Plastic turned to the Bombshell:
“I told you no-one would be able to see that the one is ever so slightly smaller than the other.” The minute he said that … Betty Boob noticed that it was in fact not the perfect pair. She wisely held her tongue, left the room and waited her turn for Doc’s attention.
It was a pale and weary Dr Plastic who returned to do his Botox magic
Afterward he sank into his chair behind his desk sighing:
“I am sick and tired of boobs. I dream of boobs, I talk about boobs and I am called at un-earthly hours in the middle of the night about boobs and then no-one is happy with their boobs.”
He was surrounded with silicone boobs. Some were bursting from cupboards; spilling off his desk or lying on the floor beside his chair. The poor man.
Betty Boob smiled. She was happy with his work, obviously The Bombshell wasn’t
It seems as if doctors, most of the time, are not interested in their patients as individuals but only as problematic bits and pieces of body parts. We forget that they’re only human, but I find it oh so sad that the dreams of most red blooded males have turned into his worst nightmares.