EATING WORMS.....LITERALLY
Nobody loves me, everybody hates me,
I'm gonna go eat worms.
Big fat juicy ones, little tiny squirmy ones,
I'm gonna go eat worms.
First you bite the heads off,
Then you squirt the guts out,
Then you throw the skins away.
Nobody knows that I eat worms three times every day.
In South Africa, god bless our post-Apartheid and post-colonial lily-white privileged white existence; we still have the luxury of gardeners and housekeepers.
Frank(enstein), our gardener works for us every Thursday and has been with ♥ Girl and I ever since we moved to Jozi. He is a highly intelligent and well spoken man with his own ideas about what’s right and have no fear to strongly express his opinion when he thinks it necessary. I really admire him for this as there are not many of his generation, the victims of the injustices of the recent past, who has this attitude. Obviously this sometimes leads to subtle power struggles between Frank and ♥ Girl when it comes to gardening, a battle that ♥ Girl usually wins, not because she’s the “boss” but because she’s a women. By now both Frank and I, as men in our middle-years steeped in wisdom, have learned that women are always right, no argument.
Frank and Baggins, my dog-son, are big buddies and he’s the only one I’ll trust to take care of my dog when we go away. Last Thursday I stayed home to take Baggins to the vet as he needed to have his nails trimmed and his ears seen to under anaesthetic. I take Frank with on a vets visit so he can control Baggins while I drive. Baggins tends to jump back and forth in the car like a total idiot, distracting me from driving.
Waiting at the vet the conversation turned to eating worms….literally, as this is part of black culture in many parts of Africa. Mopani worms are a great source of protein. These worms are harvested, sun-dried and cooked in the traditional way. I told Frank that I’ve never tasted this and then completely forgot about it.
This morning he arrived with a plastic bag full of dried worms he bought especially for me. Mashonzha can be eaten dry, like a snack, think roasted peanuts or potato crisps just a little bit wilder, or cooked in a stew. I tried one, because I couldn’t say no, and it tasted um …a bit leafy? ♥ Girl nearly had the vapours when she realised what we were up to.
But I’m an aspiring Michelin-star chef that would like to give Anthony Bourdain a run for his money in tasting all things wild, weird and wonderful as all my many constant readers know. I fully intend to cook ‘em at eat ‘em to ♥ Girl’s utter horror. She’s Jewish and vegetarian and eating worms is worse than treif, god help us all.
That’s her problem. I went hunting for a recipe on the internet and there are surprisingly many for the preparation of these kreepy krawlies.
Here’s the one I’ll try
Ingredients:
Dried Mopani worms
Sliced Tomatoes
Chopped Onions
butter
chilli sauce (to taste)
salt, pepper and garlic salt to taste
Method:
Soak Mopani worms in water until soft.
Fry onions in butter.
Add rest of ingredients and cook over slow heat until tender.
Serve with putu pap (Maize Meal Porridge)
Easy. But maybe I’ll give it a French twist as we aspiring Michelin chefs are won’t to do. I’ll use olive oil instead of butter, use a fresh bouquet garni, and serve it with a touch of balsamic vinegar, or maybe a whisper of sweet chilli sauce on a bed of fluffy couscous or polenta.
♥ Girl still has the vapours and is threatening to fire Frank(enstein) and divorce me notwithstanding the fact that we never bothered to get married. At the very least she emphatically states that she’ll discard any utensil or pot I use in the preparation process. Too bad.
In my search for the perfect recipe I stumbled on the following well designed, beautifully photographed website which I invite you to explore.
http://www.edible.com/
The dishes offered make even the adventurous me squeamish. On offer are oven-baked tarantula, chocolate covered ants, reindeer pate (fuck-off Rudolf) and Civet Coffee, of which the manufacturing process is graphically shown.
In all seriousness, Mopani worms are a great source of protein. Karin Saks, aka knows as the Baboon Woman, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baboon_Woman, is part of ♥ Girl’s extended family. Karin used to be vegan but became terribly anaemic, and the solution for her was to eat Mopani worms. She’s since turned vegetarian.
Karin and her work with primates (The Darwin Primate Group) need a special mention in this gallery of visionaries, maniacs and wide-eyed dreamers.