GODS TEARS IN MY GARDEN
♥ Girl loves gardening. This supposedly peaceful pastime causes some stress in the harmony and lovingness that usually reigns. She loves the more dainty annuals that need lots of care and attention where I like the wilder look (like overgrown). Oh yes, I love a pretty flower or two, but have more affinity for the big trees in the private forest in our back yard. The huge Yellowwood, Oak and Camphor trees that were pruned back heavily at the beginning of the year as ♥ girl wanted more sun for the dainties. The trees were put to the sword. I love the Holy Bamboo with its red berries and the old, gnarled Pride-of-India’s with their pretty white and purple flowers which appears almost miraculously at the beginning of summer.
♥ Girl and I had our gardening wars over the years. Not the “War of the Roses”, that of the lavender bushes. I love lavender, huge bushels of sweet scented flowers. The wilder the better. As soon as the lavenders are at their best ♥ Girl decrees that they’ve become too woody and scraggly and that they must die.
So they die…and I have to face the trauma of another loss. I couldn’t bear it anymore and have thrown in my gardening gloves, so the garden is now her domain.
No wonder she’s known as Cruella Deville in the gardening world with her faithful sidekick Frank(enstein), our gardener, who is also a victim of her capricious moods when I’m not around to victimize and torment. Sometimes they go too far and come crying for help. A year or so ago she destroyed part of the front garden and I had to come to the rescue. I had to landscape after she destroyed a piece of front lawn. Note carefully the lay-out in the picture below. Read the Sign. I rest my case.
♥ Girl became a vegetarian because she couldn’t bear the idea of god’s creatures dying to be turned into delectable dishes to be devoured. Sometimes I wonder if she’s not mental. There’s the caring part and then there’s the Cruella part. The Cruella part is worse than Atilla the Hun when it comes to any living insect or microbe that dares to enter HER garden.
She gets this ravenous mad look in her eyes and every second word is “kill” or “die”. Organic gardening does not feature in her vocabulary. She believes in a scorched earth policy when it comes to pest control. I’m so glad George Bush is not in the White House anymore, otherwise our garden would’ve been invaded by the US Army long ago. There are more Weapons of Mass Destruction in our gardening shed than there were in the whole of Iraqi, I swear. Each and every poison and toxin known to man are used to kill and destroy all creatures great and small in HER garden.
This morning I was instructed to spray the Fuchsias for red spider. That was after I was instructed to water the garden and after I pruned some plants. Again as instructed. Fuchsias are also known as “God’s Tears” I read the other day as they have the most stunning flowers. But it’s only for us humans to enjoy.
All the creepy crawlies are dead.