I hurt. All. Freakin'. Over.
"Dude. What happened to you?"
"My wife."
I'm freakin' covered head to toe it dirt and mud and God knows what else. My clothes are all ripped up. Safe to say that Carly's car is freakin' gone. And she's also turned out to be the enemy. Who tried to kill me with said gone car.
This is not a good day.
"Dude, she really was working for the other side?"
I walked in as soon as he stepped aside, and looked around. "Anyone here?" I asked, pretty much expecting there to be some one night stand lying around, or even Madsen's mother, who'd been visiting a lot since Madsen's Dad died a few weeks ago.
"Mom, but she's upstairs. And she knows the deal, so it's not like we've got anything to worry about."
"Whatever."
"Sammy, come on. You totally need a beer."
Or twenty.
I nodded and followed him into the kitchen, sitting down and wincing when I felt some of the scratches and bruises from trying to break my way out of the car while it was rolling down the hill. That, actually, was a first. I've had to break out of a jet while it was going down, and that turned out to be the easier of the two. She must've had the doors reinforced with something.
I'll have to thank her before I freakin' kill her. After all, now if I ever have to break out of a car that's rolling down a hill ever again, I'll know exactly how to do it.
Madsen got two beers and sat down at the table in the chair across from me, handing me one. "Here dude. Drink up. Totally good for the soul."
"Thanks." I muttered as I opened it and started drinking. Finally, I set the can down, and sighed. "This is freakin' nuts."
"Well, obviously dude. But... I so totally told you so."
"Could you be a little more helpful?"
"Dude! I did! I told you there was totally no way it would stay perfect. And did it? No. 'Cause girls totally do that sort of shit. Why the hell do you think I'm still single?"
"Whatever."
"Dude. Don't 'whatever' me. I'm totally right here."
"I know you're right, okay?" I snapped, a little harsher than I'd meant to, and winced. "Look, I'm sorry. This is... this is a lot of crap to handle."
"I know dude, it's cool. But still, you totally have a real problem."
"And that would be?" I think I need to hear it out loud. Just to let it all set in. I finished the beer and got up, heading into his hallway.
"You've totally been found out by a competeing agent."
"Yeah. It's a problem."
"What're you going to do about it?"
I snatched one of the AK-47s off of the coatrack, and leaned back in the kitchen. "I'm going to borrow this." I started out.
"Totally fine Sammy, I like where your head's at! Go get her dude!"
Go get her. Right. Go get cleaned up, and then bright and early pay a visit to my darling wife.
Yeah, this is going to be great.
"My wife."
I'm freakin' covered head to toe it dirt and mud and God knows what else. My clothes are all ripped up. Safe to say that Carly's car is freakin' gone. And she's also turned out to be the enemy. Who tried to kill me with said gone car.
This is not a good day.
"Dude, she really was working for the other side?"
I walked in as soon as he stepped aside, and looked around. "Anyone here?" I asked, pretty much expecting there to be some one night stand lying around, or even Madsen's mother, who'd been visiting a lot since Madsen's Dad died a few weeks ago.
"Mom, but she's upstairs. And she knows the deal, so it's not like we've got anything to worry about."
"Whatever."
"Sammy, come on. You totally need a beer."
Or twenty.
I nodded and followed him into the kitchen, sitting down and wincing when I felt some of the scratches and bruises from trying to break my way out of the car while it was rolling down the hill. That, actually, was a first. I've had to break out of a jet while it was going down, and that turned out to be the easier of the two. She must've had the doors reinforced with something.
I'll have to thank her before I freakin' kill her. After all, now if I ever have to break out of a car that's rolling down a hill ever again, I'll know exactly how to do it.
Madsen got two beers and sat down at the table in the chair across from me, handing me one. "Here dude. Drink up. Totally good for the soul."
"Thanks." I muttered as I opened it and started drinking. Finally, I set the can down, and sighed. "This is freakin' nuts."
"Well, obviously dude. But... I so totally told you so."
"Could you be a little more helpful?"
"Dude! I did! I told you there was totally no way it would stay perfect. And did it? No. 'Cause girls totally do that sort of shit. Why the hell do you think I'm still single?"
"Whatever."
"Dude. Don't 'whatever' me. I'm totally right here."
"I know you're right, okay?" I snapped, a little harsher than I'd meant to, and winced. "Look, I'm sorry. This is... this is a lot of crap to handle."
"I know dude, it's cool. But still, you totally have a real problem."
"And that would be?" I think I need to hear it out loud. Just to let it all set in. I finished the beer and got up, heading into his hallway.
"You've totally been found out by a competeing agent."
"Yeah. It's a problem."
"What're you going to do about it?"
I snatched one of the AK-47s off of the coatrack, and leaned back in the kitchen. "I'm going to borrow this." I started out.
"Totally fine Sammy, I like where your head's at! Go get her dude!"
Go get her. Right. Go get cleaned up, and then bright and early pay a visit to my darling wife.
Yeah, this is going to be great.