"Don't worry about it." I climbed under a bit, grabbing my shirt, and slipping my gun in the back of my jeans as I pulled my shirt back on. Gotta make sure she doesn't see anything... okay, I don't think she did.
Moving on.
"So...take care."
I'm not gonna get the call, am I.
Alright Howell, you're done here. Accept it. You've got work to do. A life of your own. One that isn't going to be with her, because this really was a one time thing for her. She was leading you on, and you need to get over that.
So leave.
God damn it, why the hell was she leading me on?
"Yeah."
Leave. Leave while you still can.
I headed to the door, opened it, and was about to walk out when I heard her again.
"Sam."
Look back, but don't turn around. You turn around, you'll look too hopeful, and you don't need that. Not when she was leading you on. Not when you're working on getting over it before you get back to work.
God damn it, why'd this have to be so hard?
I tried to smile and look casual as I looked back over my shoulder. "Yeah Car?" That works. Don't lose that.
"I love you."
... Excuse me?
Yeah, we used to say that all the time before, but I don't know, I guess up until now it didn't seem all that huge. I haven't seen her in four years, and she's still saying that after one night. Okay, I know I'm good, but...
"Really?" I'm losing that cool and casual thing here. Only, since she doesn't look like she's going to change her mind, I think that's okay. Maybe she wasn't leading me on after all.
I grinned a little and went over to her, kissing her, trying to make it last enough for both of us. I figure if I do that, maybe she won't forget what she just said. "I love you too." I looked at her eyes for a minute, trying to be sure this wasn't a load of crap.
It's not. Not from what I'm seeing.
Okay, that's considerably great.
"Don't lose the number, alright? I've sorta gotta catch a flight." I think at this point, if she takes too long to call me, I'm really just gonna track her down and call her. I can say I asked a friend of a friend for a favor or something. She means it. Carly's always had this thing with her eyes that she wasn't covering for once, so I know she does. And I really don't want to walk away from her for good all over again.
"I'll talk to you soon." And hopefully see you even sooner. I headed out again, trying not to get too stupid and grin all over agian.
A lot, now that I'm thinking about it. I didn't pick the best time to say it, but I do mean it. Probably more than Sam knows since he seems to be pretty surprised about the whole thing. It's been so long he probably figured I moved on.
I've been ashamed of the fact that I didn't. Sure I had relationships here and there, and one night stands aplenty, but none of it could ever compare to what I had with him.
I need to hear it back. I know that's stupid because you're not supposed to expect that kind of thing in return when you care about someone but...I do. I spent a long time trying to get over being n love with him, then when I realized I wasn't going to I just pushed those feelings aside because I knew I couldn't do anything about them.
Well now I told him and I tried. If Sam doesn't love me, I'll have to get over it for real this time.
He's coming back, I think that's a good sign...
Before I could think about the three letter word issue again, Sam was kissing me. Really kissing me, in a way that could definitely not be considered a 'goodbye'.
It was more of a 'see you later', if anything.
"I love you too."
Oh thank god. I can't picture a worse ending to our relationship than a complete shut down after an 'I love you'. For a few seconds there I thought it was a possibility, and maybe the kiss was just a consolation prize or something. For some reason these things are a little harder to tell than they used to be. Until I heard him say it, I didn't know.
I get it now. He loves me too.
"Don't lose the number, alright? I've sorta gotta catch a flight."
"I won't." Even if I did I could find you in three minutes or less by giving my good friend Kayla a call.
No...I should do this the old fashioned way. No cheating.
"I'll talk to you soon."
"Okay. I'll call you."
There. I said it. Was that so bad?
I heard the door close and fell back against the bed, smiling. Not a second later, the gun behind the headboard hit the floor with a thud.
All night. It lasted all night, and me laying down did it in?
"Don't worry about it." I climbed under a bit, grabbing my shirt, and slipping my gun in the back of my jeans as I pulled my shirt back on. Gotta make sure she doesn't see anything... okay, I don't think she did.
Moving on.
"So...take care."
I'm not gonna get the call, am I.
Alright Howell, you're done here. Accept it. You've got work to do. A life of your own. One that isn't going to be with her, because this really was a one time thing for her. She was leading you on, and you need to get over that.
So leave.
God damn it, why the hell was she leading me on?
"Yeah."
Leave. Leave while you still can.
I headed to the door, opened it, and was about to walk out when I heard her again.
"Sam."
Look back, but don't turn around. You turn around, you'll look too hopeful, and you don't need that. Not when she was leading you on. Not when you're working on getting over it before you get back to work.
God damn it, why'd this have to be so hard?
I tried to smile and look casual as I looked back over my shoulder. "Yeah Car?" That works. Don't lose that.
"I love you."
... Excuse me?
Yeah, we used to say that all the time before, but I don't know, I guess up until now it didn't seem all that huge. I haven't seen her in four years, and she's still saying that after one night. Okay, I know I'm good, but...
"Really?" I'm losing that cool and casual thing here. Only, since she doesn't look like she's going to change her mind, I think that's okay. Maybe she wasn't leading me on after all.
I grinned a little and went over to her, kissing her, trying to make it last enough for both of us. I figure if I do that, maybe she won't forget what she just said. "I love you too." I looked at her eyes for a minute, trying to be sure this wasn't a load of crap.
It's not. Not from what I'm seeing.
Okay, that's considerably great.
"Don't lose the number, alright? I've sorta gotta catch a flight." I think at this point, if she takes too long to call me, I'm really just gonna track her down and call her. I can say I asked a friend of a friend for a favor or something. She means it. Carly's always had this thing with her eyes that she wasn't covering for once, so I know she does. And I really don't want to walk away from her for good all over again.
"I'll talk to you soon." And hopefully see you even sooner. I headed out again, trying not to get too stupid and grin all over agian.
She loves me.
This is great.
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"Yeah, really."
A lot, now that I'm thinking about it. I didn't pick the best time to say it, but I do mean it. Probably more than Sam knows since he seems to be pretty surprised about the whole thing. It's been so long he probably figured I moved on.
I've been ashamed of the fact that I didn't. Sure I had relationships here and there, and one night stands aplenty, but none of it could ever compare to what I had with him.
I need to hear it back. I know that's stupid because you're not supposed to expect that kind of thing in return when you care about someone but...I do. I spent a long time trying to get over being n love with him, then when I realized I wasn't going to I just pushed those feelings aside because I knew I couldn't do anything about them.
Well now I told him and I tried. If Sam doesn't love me, I'll have to get over it for real this time.
He's coming back, I think that's a good sign...
Before I could think about the three letter word issue again, Sam was kissing me. Really kissing me, in a way that could definitely not be considered a 'goodbye'.
It was more of a 'see you later', if anything.
"I love you too."
Oh thank god. I can't picture a worse ending to our relationship than a complete shut down after an 'I love you'. For a few seconds there I thought it was a possibility, and maybe the kiss was just a consolation prize or something. For some reason these things are a little harder to tell than they used to be. Until I heard him say it, I didn't know.
I get it now. He loves me too.
"Don't lose the number, alright? I've sorta gotta catch a flight."
"I won't." Even if I did I could find you in three minutes or less by giving my good friend Kayla a call.
No...I should do this the old fashioned way. No cheating.
"I'll talk to you soon."
"Okay. I'll call you."
There. I said it. Was that so bad?
I heard the door close and fell back against the bed, smiling. Not a second later, the gun behind the headboard hit the floor with a thud.
All night. It lasted all night, and me laying down did it in?
Sometimes I cannot believe my luck.
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