Oral
Somehow at lunch today, my friend Steve, his fiance' and I got into a discussion about video game systems and the quirks to get them working. With the PS2 and PS1 for example, you'd have to turn them upside down so that the disc reads. I brought up the regular Nintendo and how when it wouldn't work you'd have to blow in the cartridges and the system. The explanation went a bit indepth, because there were a lot of different lip-manipulation and air-manipulation tricks for getting the NES to start up.
Then it hit me, dudes that had to spend years teasing NES cartridges with their mouths probably are great at going down on girls. Just roll that over in your thoughts for a second. You start in on the cartridge by giving a gentle blow all across the hole, then if that doesn't work, you get frustrated and give it a big forceful blow. Once that fails, you open wide and let the air leak onto the cartridge to breath warm air on it, then there is variation, giving a sort of machine-gun rapid blow up and down to mix things up.
How does this help with oral? The creativity! A lot of guys just bury their faces in there and go nuts like its some sort of pie eating contest, but it's a meticulous process you buncha fools. You can't just foist your tongue into the magic-gate and hope for a miracle; you wouldn't keep trying to open a door with the incorrect key. If one thing doesn't work, try another. Men that had to puzzle out how to get an NES to work already possess the ability to find new ways to tease an elongated, thin hole with their mouths. This is only speculation, but the analogy is almost too perfect.
And sometimes the game is so good that a guy will do whatever it takes to turn it on. I remember when I was eight and I had rented the original Contra for NES, and it wouldn't turn on. I was fuckin furious. This is mother-fucking Contra we're talking about here! So I sat there with that damn game for what must have been an hour and a half, sticking it in and pulling it out of the NES, blowing one side of the chip then the other, varying the force of my blows, breathing slowly into the cartridge, even blowing into the NES itself. When I couldn't turn it on, I went to the store to get tools to help. A cleaning brush and cleaning solvent. Used the brush on the inside of the game, and the solvent on the system. Eventually, after experimenting with different blows, and "tools," I turned that bitch on, and it was fantastic
Then it hit me, dudes that had to spend years teasing NES cartridges with their mouths probably are great at going down on girls. Just roll that over in your thoughts for a second. You start in on the cartridge by giving a gentle blow all across the hole, then if that doesn't work, you get frustrated and give it a big forceful blow. Once that fails, you open wide and let the air leak onto the cartridge to breath warm air on it, then there is variation, giving a sort of machine-gun rapid blow up and down to mix things up.
How does this help with oral? The creativity! A lot of guys just bury their faces in there and go nuts like its some sort of pie eating contest, but it's a meticulous process you buncha fools. You can't just foist your tongue into the magic-gate and hope for a miracle; you wouldn't keep trying to open a door with the incorrect key. If one thing doesn't work, try another. Men that had to puzzle out how to get an NES to work already possess the ability to find new ways to tease an elongated, thin hole with their mouths. This is only speculation, but the analogy is almost too perfect.
And sometimes the game is so good that a guy will do whatever it takes to turn it on. I remember when I was eight and I had rented the original Contra for NES, and it wouldn't turn on. I was fuckin furious. This is mother-fucking Contra we're talking about here! So I sat there with that damn game for what must have been an hour and a half, sticking it in and pulling it out of the NES, blowing one side of the chip then the other, varying the force of my blows, breathing slowly into the cartridge, even blowing into the NES itself. When I couldn't turn it on, I went to the store to get tools to help. A cleaning brush and cleaning solvent. Used the brush on the inside of the game, and the solvent on the system. Eventually, after experimenting with different blows, and "tools," I turned that bitch on, and it was fantastic