(no subject)
So, we have finally arrived in Oakland California after two weeks of absolute HELL.
To top things off, Taylor, my "friend" who we were moving down here to live with is now MAD at me for breaking down and being unable to contact him for several days. We found this out after our 9 hour drive down, to arrive on his door step with a letter there waiting for me telling me how I am so disrespectful for not getting ahold of him and making him worry. The whole letter was about HIM and how HE was soooo put out.
Didn't give me a chance to tell him WHY we were unable to call him. Didn't give us a chance to tell him that our car blew up on the freeway on our way to pick up our ridesharer. That we had to sleep in our blown up car on the side of the freeway in the snow for two days before being able to hitch hike to a truck stop in Oakland Oregon. Then, had to get our car towed. Lived in it on the tow site for a few more days with little to no food, all of our belongings and our 2 cats.Had to call my dad and get him to loan me some money for a hotel room and phone cards so that I could get ahold of everyone,including the holier than thou Taylor. I swear to god, I have never come accross such a self centered. passive aggressive douche bag. We could have saved ourselves about $300 had he just answered his phone one of the 80 times that I called him to inform him that we were leaving Oregon and that we would be at his house at such and such time. Then, in said note, makes it sound like we never talked about rent or anything. Like it just slipped his mind that we had discussed rent payment. If his rent is SOOO expensive, why doesn't he make his fucking bag of hammers girlfriend get a job?? That might help. No, he let us do the entire drive to arrive and THEN told us...in a fucking note. Here is what the note had to say:
tommy-
it takes a lot to push me this far and make me this upset. i spent the last four days thinking something really bad must have happened to you- because i didn't see any other plausible reason that a friend wouldn't call for FOUR WHOLE DAYS, knowing that his friend was expecting him at a certain time. the first two days i thought maybe you were an asshole that had yr priorities mixed up. the last two days i have been convinced that you were either dead, in jail, or in very bad shape in a hospital somewhere. why else would you NOT call me to say that you were oky but couldn't make it when you had planned? your lack of regard for how your situation affects me is very hurtful, especially when you're depending on my generosity and friendship to even have a place to land. i feel as though i was doing you a huge favor, as a friend, to allow not just you, but your girlfriend and two cats to stay in an apartment that is already overcrowded. in addition, holding the room open has cost me $550 extra in rent for march, when i expected you to be here in February. although the financial burden was a hardship for me, i accepted it because i knew that i was DOING MY FRIEND A FAVOR. my friend needed me and i did what i could to reach out and help. it was all in the name of a friendship i thought existed between us. all you had to offer WAS your friendship..and you didn't. you chose NOT to call me, when you likely knew that i would be concerned about you and your wellbeing.
i recognize that the past several months have been difficult for you. i am not invalidating that. still, none of it changes the fact that i have paid twice my normal rent to hold a room open for you, your girlfriend, and two cats-- none of whom have money to pay for the room. your difficulties in life are not more important or urgent than anyone else's. and the fact that you don't even acknowledge that you have disrespected me at all makes me feel like maybe you don't consider me a friend at all. you have shown blatant disregard for me while i was going above and beyond for you. that you don't acknowledge how yr shit has affected mine makes me sad. seriously. i expected very little in return for looking out for you. i expected you to communicate, to consider my situation, my feelings. to treat me as a friend, really. and you haven't. i feel more like a means to an end than a friend.
i care about you and i'm sorry that things worked out this way. i can't allow you to stay with me because it's obvious, at this point, that you don't have the respect for me that i thought- that i gave the benefit of the doubt to- you don't have the respect for me that i need to make this work.
i know that this makes landing here harder for you- i understand that- this is not how i would have chosen for things to go down. i hate that this is what i have to do in order to keep my self-respect. i need to stand up for myself. our friendship doesn't have any foundation without respect for one another. please try to understand that i feel really hurt by your actions. i can't let my guilt about anything here take priority over my own self-respect. i hope you understand that. i feel like i just lost one of the few people on the planet that i call a friend. i hope i'm right to assume that you care enough to react in a way that doesn't just hurt me more.
as a favor, if you need, i would take in your cats and care for them while you stay elsewhere- only until i get a roommate. if you want to take me up on the offer, please email me and we'll set up a time when you can drop them off.
i wish you luck and hope it comes to you- i hold no resentment towards you. i simply can't keep giving my friendship, love, and generosity to someone that doesn't appreciate what i am giving and possibly doesn't even see it. take care of yrself, man. taylor.
To top things off, Taylor, my "friend" who we were moving down here to live with is now MAD at me for breaking down and being unable to contact him for several days. We found this out after our 9 hour drive down, to arrive on his door step with a letter there waiting for me telling me how I am so disrespectful for not getting ahold of him and making him worry. The whole letter was about HIM and how HE was soooo put out.
Didn't give me a chance to tell him WHY we were unable to call him. Didn't give us a chance to tell him that our car blew up on the freeway on our way to pick up our ridesharer. That we had to sleep in our blown up car on the side of the freeway in the snow for two days before being able to hitch hike to a truck stop in Oakland Oregon. Then, had to get our car towed. Lived in it on the tow site for a few more days with little to no food, all of our belongings and our 2 cats.Had to call my dad and get him to loan me some money for a hotel room and phone cards so that I could get ahold of everyone,including the holier than thou Taylor. I swear to god, I have never come accross such a self centered. passive aggressive douche bag. We could have saved ourselves about $300 had he just answered his phone one of the 80 times that I called him to inform him that we were leaving Oregon and that we would be at his house at such and such time. Then, in said note, makes it sound like we never talked about rent or anything. Like it just slipped his mind that we had discussed rent payment. If his rent is SOOO expensive, why doesn't he make his fucking bag of hammers girlfriend get a job?? That might help. No, he let us do the entire drive to arrive and THEN told us...in a fucking note. Here is what the note had to say:
tommy-
it takes a lot to push me this far and make me this upset. i spent the last four days thinking something really bad must have happened to you- because i didn't see any other plausible reason that a friend wouldn't call for FOUR WHOLE DAYS, knowing that his friend was expecting him at a certain time. the first two days i thought maybe you were an asshole that had yr priorities mixed up. the last two days i have been convinced that you were either dead, in jail, or in very bad shape in a hospital somewhere. why else would you NOT call me to say that you were oky but couldn't make it when you had planned? your lack of regard for how your situation affects me is very hurtful, especially when you're depending on my generosity and friendship to even have a place to land. i feel as though i was doing you a huge favor, as a friend, to allow not just you, but your girlfriend and two cats to stay in an apartment that is already overcrowded. in addition, holding the room open has cost me $550 extra in rent for march, when i expected you to be here in February. although the financial burden was a hardship for me, i accepted it because i knew that i was DOING MY FRIEND A FAVOR. my friend needed me and i did what i could to reach out and help. it was all in the name of a friendship i thought existed between us. all you had to offer WAS your friendship..and you didn't. you chose NOT to call me, when you likely knew that i would be concerned about you and your wellbeing.
i recognize that the past several months have been difficult for you. i am not invalidating that. still, none of it changes the fact that i have paid twice my normal rent to hold a room open for you, your girlfriend, and two cats-- none of whom have money to pay for the room. your difficulties in life are not more important or urgent than anyone else's. and the fact that you don't even acknowledge that you have disrespected me at all makes me feel like maybe you don't consider me a friend at all. you have shown blatant disregard for me while i was going above and beyond for you. that you don't acknowledge how yr shit has affected mine makes me sad. seriously. i expected very little in return for looking out for you. i expected you to communicate, to consider my situation, my feelings. to treat me as a friend, really. and you haven't. i feel more like a means to an end than a friend.
i care about you and i'm sorry that things worked out this way. i can't allow you to stay with me because it's obvious, at this point, that you don't have the respect for me that i thought- that i gave the benefit of the doubt to- you don't have the respect for me that i need to make this work.
i know that this makes landing here harder for you- i understand that- this is not how i would have chosen for things to go down. i hate that this is what i have to do in order to keep my self-respect. i need to stand up for myself. our friendship doesn't have any foundation without respect for one another. please try to understand that i feel really hurt by your actions. i can't let my guilt about anything here take priority over my own self-respect. i hope you understand that. i feel like i just lost one of the few people on the planet that i call a friend. i hope i'm right to assume that you care enough to react in a way that doesn't just hurt me more.
as a favor, if you need, i would take in your cats and care for them while you stay elsewhere- only until i get a roommate. if you want to take me up on the offer, please email me and we'll set up a time when you can drop them off.
i wish you luck and hope it comes to you- i hold no resentment towards you. i simply can't keep giving my friendship, love, and generosity to someone that doesn't appreciate what i am giving and possibly doesn't even see it. take care of yrself, man. taylor.