Thursday (rant, be warned)
Thursday, July 3rd, 2008, 2:30 PM EST+2
Hotel Niviarsiaq (Narsaq, Greenland)
Wow. I knew Dad could be an asshole sometimes but I didn’t know he could be this much of an asshole. I wish there was a male equivalent to the word “cunt” because it would be useful to me right in now describing my “father”.
We were hiking up a mountain in Narsaq and it was actually a lot of fun. It was really steep and kinda dangerous but that made it a little more exciting. I was the one urging Dad on at first when he was having his doubts about making it to the top.
We split up kind of by accident because he claimed his way was easier, but we were still in sight of each other. I almost fell like four times, and one wrong step on this mountain and you’re done. That started to freak me out so I called up to Dad that I was going down and he should come. I thought he heard me so I started descending. I went a much easier way than we had come.
After awhile I realized he was still going up and I called up to him. He said he was going to the top. I said I was scared to and wanted to go down, and he seemed to understand and was like “Well, we’re really close but… If that’s really all you wanna do we can go down” and that was all good and stuff. I went up halfway towards him to meet him to go down with him, saying as I went, “Yeah it’s crazy I’ve literally almost fallen and almost killed myself like four times. I really wanna go back” and he was like “Well we’re so close” and in the middle of him saying that I slipped on a rock and barely stopped myself from hitting my head on another one. Our conversation went something like this afterwards:
“Shit, see? Like that, I literally almost fell and broke my head open on this rock”
(He must have assumed I was kidding)
“Come on, let’s keep going we’re almost there!”
“No, I want to go back down. There’s been way too many close calls.”
(He starts laughing)
“I’m not fucking kidding! I literally almost cracked my head open! How’d you like to see that, your son bleeding and dying with a hole in his head, huh?”
(Must have still thought I was kidding)
“Oh come on, don’t do that. You have the camera so if you do that I won’t even be able to get a video of it.”
“I’m not fucking kidding! I want to go back down, this isn’t a joke!”
“Okay, well I’m going up”
“Have a fucking blast”
“All right. Bye.”
I sat there for like ten minutes waiting for him. The bugs were killing me. They had been the whole time and that was another reason I wanted to go back down. I sat there waiting because I didn’t want to lose sight of him in case he fell. I had my cell phone and had reception and an emergency number saved in my phone in case anything happened. But after awhile it didn’t matter because I couldn’t see him anyway, so I started down. After I got down farther I could see him, but I was blinded with fury at what he’d said. I looked up, gave him the finger, and walked back to the hostel we’re staying at. I almost fell like three others times because I was walking down a moist cliff at like 80 degrees. I kind of wanted to yell out “AHHH! MY LEG!” just so he’d get worried and come down. But no, he was “so close to the top” that he’d probably be like “Aw man, I’m so close. He’ll be okay for another half hour.”
For all I know he could have fallen into a ravine and broken his leg. I won’t know until 6:00 when we’re supposed to meet for dinner. It’s 2:45 now. I kind of want to hide from him all day and not show up to dinner just so he’ll worry that something happened to me on the way down. But then again, knowing him, he’d be able to sleep tonight even if I don’t come back. He’d just assume I’d make it back sometime during the night. Wouldn’t even call for a rescue or anything. Yep, thanks “Dad”.
I just want to go home. I don’t even want to talk to him right now. I know I’ll get over it in the next half hour, and that’s why I came back to write this immediately afterwards because I’m the most honest about this right now. If I calmed down and got over it, I’d just shrug it off and not worry about it. But for now I’m still pissed off.
Sorry, just had to rant. Don’t feel like writing about the other stuff we’ve been doing, I’ll do that later. Probly gunna go to the library right now and post this and try not to think about him until 6:00 because it will just get me worried. I don’t know where he is, the last time I saw him was when I was coming down and like I said, I gave him he finger (he couldn’t see).
All right, well, later then.