New Sneakers Are Like 150 Dollar Land Mines.
Man, its been an eventful couple days, haha, its crazy how shit can go down in a couple days, but man oh man, the shit has gone down. Apparently, and im not saying this towards anyone individual, so dont start, but apparently, i am a mistake :P, i dont know how, i manage it, but since the first time i broke up with kathy ive been called a mistake, EXACTLY, no less than five times. including the one time my mom told me. but you know what, i really think that hearing that is kinda like a concussive blow to the head, the first time is the only one that really hurts, and the rest just kinda have a numbing feeling. Im just starting to guess that i, am a big ol MISTAKE, and its awesome, because by being a mistake by default, everything wrong i do is by default a mistake of my mother and father's. I am omnipotent. MUAHAHAHAHAHHA
i dont even know any more, i just kinda have this retarded numb feeling that i get every once in awhile. But im sure that it will pass. i mean it has in the past and it will now.
The thing that really bothers me, is allready ive lost at least one friend. Technically ive lost it through my own decision making. but regardless... i dont even know. hell, i dont even know why i wrote this, or why i continue writing this, lets just say that for the sack of interest its to fully explain and understand what i think. so its a good possibility that this entry might not see the light of day. but meh...its hard to get thoughts in order while watching teen titans.
Im gonna be honest, i fucked up real big, i mean like abnormally stupid, i mistook, lets say, anger, to be appropriate feelings for me, and then took those feelings a lot farther than i should have. heh. its funny...in a kind of fucked up way. It just looks like sometimes, things are all like HEY MAN, IM TOTTALLY GONNA GO YOURE WAY! and then its like OH MAN, check out this lucky penny! and you turn your head all smiles and awesome, and then BAM SUCKER PUNCHED, and youre lying on the ground spitting up blood and teeth. Rather graphic description of i guess is a everyday occurence. But yeh, i totally did somethings, or pressured some things into happening that i totally shouldnt have, i mean, i dont even know, but apparently when i want something, i need to do the EXACT opposite of what i think or think i need to do. I feel really bad, of course, and i feel really fucked up, and dejected... i guess i over think. i dunno. But yeh, I told the other party in mon-age-teau sp? its french so i can get away with my imperical english gramer nazi thing. cuz if it was english i could probably spell it. MAN, off subject! any way, i told the other guilty party that after today, we'd pretend this never happened, so after today i dont know whats going to go on. But ill survive, i think ill just have to be alone for a little while. i dunno we'll see what happens, i wish my dad was cool like Trigon.
Im really hungry, and i dont want to work tomarrow, a hundred percent sure of that...and its late, and im tired, haha, wow, nothing is looking up right now, EVEN THE TEEN TITANS ARE LOSING AT THE MOMENT.
Man oh mans, its gonna be a crazy time
by crazy i mean CRAPPY. and confusing, and ultimately dissapointing.
put on a happy face. :P Nothing really to do but that and as allways...
Bring it on like Donkey Kong.
Mat
i dont even know any more, i just kinda have this retarded numb feeling that i get every once in awhile. But im sure that it will pass. i mean it has in the past and it will now.
The thing that really bothers me, is allready ive lost at least one friend. Technically ive lost it through my own decision making. but regardless... i dont even know. hell, i dont even know why i wrote this, or why i continue writing this, lets just say that for the sack of interest its to fully explain and understand what i think. so its a good possibility that this entry might not see the light of day. but meh...its hard to get thoughts in order while watching teen titans.
Im gonna be honest, i fucked up real big, i mean like abnormally stupid, i mistook, lets say, anger, to be appropriate feelings for me, and then took those feelings a lot farther than i should have. heh. its funny...in a kind of fucked up way. It just looks like sometimes, things are all like HEY MAN, IM TOTTALLY GONNA GO YOURE WAY! and then its like OH MAN, check out this lucky penny! and you turn your head all smiles and awesome, and then BAM SUCKER PUNCHED, and youre lying on the ground spitting up blood and teeth. Rather graphic description of i guess is a everyday occurence. But yeh, i totally did somethings, or pressured some things into happening that i totally shouldnt have, i mean, i dont even know, but apparently when i want something, i need to do the EXACT opposite of what i think or think i need to do. I feel really bad, of course, and i feel really fucked up, and dejected... i guess i over think. i dunno. But yeh, I told the other party in mon-age-teau sp? its french so i can get away with my imperical english gramer nazi thing. cuz if it was english i could probably spell it. MAN, off subject! any way, i told the other guilty party that after today, we'd pretend this never happened, so after today i dont know whats going to go on. But ill survive, i think ill just have to be alone for a little while. i dunno we'll see what happens, i wish my dad was cool like Trigon.
Im really hungry, and i dont want to work tomarrow, a hundred percent sure of that...and its late, and im tired, haha, wow, nothing is looking up right now, EVEN THE TEEN TITANS ARE LOSING AT THE MOMENT.
Man oh mans, its gonna be a crazy time
by crazy i mean CRAPPY. and confusing, and ultimately dissapointing.
put on a happy face. :P Nothing really to do but that and as allways...
Bring it on like Donkey Kong.
Mat