(no subject)
Iranian 1: "Now, if we can just keep the Israelis and the Americans off our back for another few months, we'll get these nuclear weapons operational!"
Iranian 2: (bursts into room) "Boss! Boss! Look what I brought home!" (shoves blindfolded Israeli into room)
Iranian 1: (palms on cheeks, mugs to camera) "Oh, Ahmed!" (laughter, applause)
{COMMERCIAL}
CRISIS ESCALATES AS SMALL CONCRETE BRIDGE OVER TINY SEASONAL RIVULET IS HIT BY ISRAELI AIRSTRIKE! GOATS SCATTERED!
SMALLISH GASOLINE TANK EXPLODES! WORLD LEADERS HUDDLE!
G-8 LEADERS IN CRISIS TALKS AS GLORIFIED HEZBOLLAH ROMAN CANDLE KNOCKS OVER SANDWICH BOARD IN HAIFA!
ISRAELI GUNSHIPS DESTROY SUBCOMPACT CAR CARRYING SUSPECTED TERRORIST IN EYE-BLINK LEBANESE VILLAGE - BUSH BUNDLED INTO BUNKER!
ISRAELI SHELL SHATTERS FIVE-FOOT BOULDER IN SHEEP PASTURE!
REPORT: GUNSHOT HEARD NEAR BORDER!
LEBANON BLOCKADED! WORLD ECONOMY GRINDS TO HALT!
SOUND "SIMILAR TO EXPLOSION, BUT VERY FAINT" HEARD BY TERRIFIED BEIRUT CITIZENS! FALAFEL STANDS CLOSED FOR THE NIGHT!
AS MANY AS FIFTEEN-TO-TWENTY ISRAELI RESERVISTS ARE RUSHED TO BORDER TO REINFORCE COMRADES IN TITANIC, WORLD-ENDING BATTLE!
Iranian 2: (bursts into room) "Boss! Boss! Look what I brought home!" (shoves blindfolded Israeli into room)
Iranian 1: (palms on cheeks, mugs to camera) "Oh, Ahmed!" (laughter, applause)
{COMMERCIAL}
CRISIS ESCALATES AS SMALL CONCRETE BRIDGE OVER TINY SEASONAL RIVULET IS HIT BY ISRAELI AIRSTRIKE! GOATS SCATTERED!
SMALLISH GASOLINE TANK EXPLODES! WORLD LEADERS HUDDLE!
G-8 LEADERS IN CRISIS TALKS AS GLORIFIED HEZBOLLAH ROMAN CANDLE KNOCKS OVER SANDWICH BOARD IN HAIFA!
ISRAELI GUNSHIPS DESTROY SUBCOMPACT CAR CARRYING SUSPECTED TERRORIST IN EYE-BLINK LEBANESE VILLAGE - BUSH BUNDLED INTO BUNKER!
ISRAELI SHELL SHATTERS FIVE-FOOT BOULDER IN SHEEP PASTURE!
REPORT: GUNSHOT HEARD NEAR BORDER!
LEBANON BLOCKADED! WORLD ECONOMY GRINDS TO HALT!
SOUND "SIMILAR TO EXPLOSION, BUT VERY FAINT" HEARD BY TERRIFIED BEIRUT CITIZENS! FALAFEL STANDS CLOSED FOR THE NIGHT!
AS MANY AS FIFTEEN-TO-TWENTY ISRAELI RESERVISTS ARE RUSHED TO BORDER TO REINFORCE COMRADES IN TITANIC, WORLD-ENDING BATTLE!