Now I Know
I've lost it!
Last night (or early this morning), I had a dream that Dr Phil was in my kitchen. Proof positive I have lost my mind. He was there along with others, I think my sister and her kids were running around. It was rather noisy. He asked how I was feeling and I said horrible. Then, Dr Phil was going to tell me the solution; what I needed to do to fix everything. Just like on tv, there was a clear and simple answer to all my worries!
Then, a gust of wind made my blinds bang and woke me up.
While I was still coming to my senses, I was so angry because I knew I had been so close to learning something really important. LOL.
I bet I am in the right state of mind to be sucked up by a cult. I wonder if there are any decent ones around here? What was the one in which they killed themselves to join the spaceship that was supposed to be trailing a comet? I remember they wore sweatsuits and runners as a sort of uniform. I could go with that. Ultra casual dress code definitely is a plus in my books.
I'm searching for answers to something that has none. I want to believe that there is a way to change the outcome of my life, but that cannot happen. It doesn't matter how much I meditate, or pray, or if I buy magic crystals, or beans. There is no solution. I cannot change what has been cast. It is over.
I cannot change the fact that my first, second, third and forth choices for where I want to live and have a career teaching do not want me there. That cannot be altered. It is something I need to stop wishing and praying about because it will not change. I cannot change the fact that I will always be the platonic friend to those I have feelings for. That is also outside of my control. The past that haunts me, well it most certainly will never change....
So
yeah
why is about the only question I have left.
Why should I bother to keep trudging through this life?
It seems rather pointless.
Last night (or early this morning), I had a dream that Dr Phil was in my kitchen. Proof positive I have lost my mind. He was there along with others, I think my sister and her kids were running around. It was rather noisy. He asked how I was feeling and I said horrible. Then, Dr Phil was going to tell me the solution; what I needed to do to fix everything. Just like on tv, there was a clear and simple answer to all my worries!
Then, a gust of wind made my blinds bang and woke me up.
While I was still coming to my senses, I was so angry because I knew I had been so close to learning something really important. LOL.
I bet I am in the right state of mind to be sucked up by a cult. I wonder if there are any decent ones around here? What was the one in which they killed themselves to join the spaceship that was supposed to be trailing a comet? I remember they wore sweatsuits and runners as a sort of uniform. I could go with that. Ultra casual dress code definitely is a plus in my books.
I'm searching for answers to something that has none. I want to believe that there is a way to change the outcome of my life, but that cannot happen. It doesn't matter how much I meditate, or pray, or if I buy magic crystals, or beans. There is no solution. I cannot change what has been cast. It is over.
I cannot change the fact that my first, second, third and forth choices for where I want to live and have a career teaching do not want me there. That cannot be altered. It is something I need to stop wishing and praying about because it will not change. I cannot change the fact that I will always be the platonic friend to those I have feelings for. That is also outside of my control. The past that haunts me, well it most certainly will never change....
So
yeah
why is about the only question I have left.
Why should I bother to keep trudging through this life?
It seems rather pointless.