What I've been missing out on
Well now, what an interesting night....
After work I went to Chris' to hang out with him, but he was at the dentist for a while, so I just hung out with his little brother Kevin. We played cards and skated around in their backyard ice rink for a while, and it was a good time. But while we were doing all this, Megan called me. She was out shopping and realized that shopping without me was next to impossible, so I had planned on going to the Galleria to see her, but she left before I had the chance, but that's ok. Chris and I still went because Msgr. got some presents from GAP that didn't fit him, so he gave them to me to have or to turn in.... I kept one thing, and turned in the other to get some nice things. But anyway, after shopping, Chris and I went and picked up Megan and the three of us went to Zebbs for dinner. It was nice. It was real good to see Meg again. Things have been sorta weird for me between us lately though. I've always had a crush on her, and she knows that, I've told her and talked about in past entries i.e. Megan is hot, period. Last time I was home I spent some time with her, but her and AJ were still together at the time. So I didn't dare to try a thing. I respect other's relationships, that's just how I am. But, even though I've always liked her so much, I've always been comfortable around her. When I don't see her and think about her is when I think about what could be, and what ifs, and I have my regrets. Well, I decided yesterday no more regrets.
She had mentioned in the car on the way to dinner how she had expected the night to just be her and I, so after dinner, I took Chris home, and her and I went to shoot pool. Oddly enough, the woman isn't half bad at the game. Of course I still won, but she made it interesting at times. But while we were there, she had mentioned how I hadn't called her since I was home. I've thought about it. I've had that phone in my hand and thought about it many of times, but I was always sat and thought about what things would be like, if they would be weird for me and just really got myself paranoid. I was almost afraid to see her just because I didn't want those feelings to rush back everytime I saw her and be disappointed when I didn't do anything about them and regretted it all over again.
Well, when she called, all those worries dropped, and it was just me and one of my best friends on the phone together. I was worried about seeing her, so I made sure I looked my best and had my best scent on, but when I saw her walk out of her house, that's not what I was thinking about, I was thinking about how much I had missed her and realized how important she has been to me through the years, especially this past year.
Well, Chris knew all this, and we talked about it a lot while we were shopping and in the car. When Meg and I were shooting pool he called me up. I picked up and he said two words to me, "No Regrets." And it made me think a lot about what was going on. Meg and I played pool for a few hours and it gave me a chance to think about it as she tried to guess what it was Chris had said to me. And in that allotted time, I realized that no matter what Meg and I have gone through, we've stuck it out, and remained such great friends, and there wasn't a thing that could destroy our friendship. So we got back into my car, and after her clues that what Chris told me was two words and that it was "No Re_ _ ets" she finally figured it out. She asked what Chris meant by No Regrets, and then I leaned in and kissed her. I caught her very much off guard, because she really didn't kiss me back, and then told me that she didn't want to sound a lot like Ali, but that I shouldn't have done that. But whatever, I have No regrets about what I did. I needed to know.
So there was an awkward silence, so I threw in a cd and put on some songs I knew the liked... she told me how Nick and AJ listen to crap music, so I figured I'd be nice and throw in things she liked... plus we both pretty much have a similar music taste, so it all worked out. But I drove her home, and things were normal, like they always were, nothing had changed. It was good to know that I took my chance, got shot down, but that her and I are still cool. It proved to me, and I think her too, how strong of a friendship we really have. Plus, it allowed me to have no regrets, not wondering and asking myself what if.
So I dropped her off, told her to call me so we could go clubbing, and hugged her goodbye. And, as she pulled away, she kissed me back, and told me no regrets.
Wow. Simply wow.
That wasn't just a kiss. Those feelings I've had for her came rushing back big time. The feelings were really there. I didn't feel that when I kissed Ali. There was nothing remotely close to that when I kissed Michelle, and that's a feeling I don't recall ever experiencing when I was with Ann. I really can't explain it, but all I know is that it's a feeling I don't want to lose.
We'll see where things go from here, but I'm happy right now. I feel like I'm on top of the world, and there's nothing anyone can say or do to take me down. I just know that I can't wait to see her again, and that no matter what happens, nothing will change, I'll always be there for her and she'll always be there for me, and that means more to me than anything else.
Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason
I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one
Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone
And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only my only one
Here i go so dishonestly leave a note for you my only one
for you my only one
And I know you can't see right through me
So let me go
And you will find some one
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only my only one
my only one
my only one
my only one
You are my only my only one
Happy Trails!!!!!!!!!
After work I went to Chris' to hang out with him, but he was at the dentist for a while, so I just hung out with his little brother Kevin. We played cards and skated around in their backyard ice rink for a while, and it was a good time. But while we were doing all this, Megan called me. She was out shopping and realized that shopping without me was next to impossible, so I had planned on going to the Galleria to see her, but she left before I had the chance, but that's ok. Chris and I still went because Msgr. got some presents from GAP that didn't fit him, so he gave them to me to have or to turn in.... I kept one thing, and turned in the other to get some nice things. But anyway, after shopping, Chris and I went and picked up Megan and the three of us went to Zebbs for dinner. It was nice. It was real good to see Meg again. Things have been sorta weird for me between us lately though. I've always had a crush on her, and she knows that, I've told her and talked about in past entries i.e. Megan is hot, period. Last time I was home I spent some time with her, but her and AJ were still together at the time. So I didn't dare to try a thing. I respect other's relationships, that's just how I am. But, even though I've always liked her so much, I've always been comfortable around her. When I don't see her and think about her is when I think about what could be, and what ifs, and I have my regrets. Well, I decided yesterday no more regrets.
She had mentioned in the car on the way to dinner how she had expected the night to just be her and I, so after dinner, I took Chris home, and her and I went to shoot pool. Oddly enough, the woman isn't half bad at the game. Of course I still won, but she made it interesting at times. But while we were there, she had mentioned how I hadn't called her since I was home. I've thought about it. I've had that phone in my hand and thought about it many of times, but I was always sat and thought about what things would be like, if they would be weird for me and just really got myself paranoid. I was almost afraid to see her just because I didn't want those feelings to rush back everytime I saw her and be disappointed when I didn't do anything about them and regretted it all over again.
Well, when she called, all those worries dropped, and it was just me and one of my best friends on the phone together. I was worried about seeing her, so I made sure I looked my best and had my best scent on, but when I saw her walk out of her house, that's not what I was thinking about, I was thinking about how much I had missed her and realized how important she has been to me through the years, especially this past year.
Well, Chris knew all this, and we talked about it a lot while we were shopping and in the car. When Meg and I were shooting pool he called me up. I picked up and he said two words to me, "No Regrets." And it made me think a lot about what was going on. Meg and I played pool for a few hours and it gave me a chance to think about it as she tried to guess what it was Chris had said to me. And in that allotted time, I realized that no matter what Meg and I have gone through, we've stuck it out, and remained such great friends, and there wasn't a thing that could destroy our friendship. So we got back into my car, and after her clues that what Chris told me was two words and that it was "No Re_ _ ets" she finally figured it out. She asked what Chris meant by No Regrets, and then I leaned in and kissed her. I caught her very much off guard, because she really didn't kiss me back, and then told me that she didn't want to sound a lot like Ali, but that I shouldn't have done that. But whatever, I have No regrets about what I did. I needed to know.
So there was an awkward silence, so I threw in a cd and put on some songs I knew the liked... she told me how Nick and AJ listen to crap music, so I figured I'd be nice and throw in things she liked... plus we both pretty much have a similar music taste, so it all worked out. But I drove her home, and things were normal, like they always were, nothing had changed. It was good to know that I took my chance, got shot down, but that her and I are still cool. It proved to me, and I think her too, how strong of a friendship we really have. Plus, it allowed me to have no regrets, not wondering and asking myself what if.
So I dropped her off, told her to call me so we could go clubbing, and hugged her goodbye. And, as she pulled away, she kissed me back, and told me no regrets.
Wow. Simply wow.
That wasn't just a kiss. Those feelings I've had for her came rushing back big time. The feelings were really there. I didn't feel that when I kissed Ali. There was nothing remotely close to that when I kissed Michelle, and that's a feeling I don't recall ever experiencing when I was with Ann. I really can't explain it, but all I know is that it's a feeling I don't want to lose.
We'll see where things go from here, but I'm happy right now. I feel like I'm on top of the world, and there's nothing anyone can say or do to take me down. I just know that I can't wait to see her again, and that no matter what happens, nothing will change, I'll always be there for her and she'll always be there for me, and that means more to me than anything else.
Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason
I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one
Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone
And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only my only one
Here i go so dishonestly leave a note for you my only one
for you my only one
And I know you can't see right through me
So let me go
And you will find some one
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only my only one
my only one
my only one
my only one
You are my only my only one
Happy Trails!!!!!!!!!