i really think im going crazy...

[mr_mustard19]

my mind is out of control tonight... this is my fucking third entry in like two hours...
i cant control it...
for some reason its racing through memories, moods, and thoughts.
theres things i cant stop thinking about that i wish they would go away...
things that arent necessary.. that are most likely dead, or forgotten...
but you cant forget a person, a former love, a friend, or family...
neither can they...
i wish it would go away...
things i wish i knew are destroying me and fast...
maybe ill forget about it in the morning...
maybe ill forget about it when sane...
most likely not...
i really doesent matter really...
bipolar sucks...
i am confused...
i am lost...
i hate being trapped in my own mind,
i hate being lost in a world of illusion...
i hate being sober when im like this..
i wish i were stoned...
i feel like my minds on a roller coaster...
and the ride is endless...
it wont stop...
i wish i could stop doing this...
...
...
its getting really annoying'''
that looks better'''
i wish i could put my thoughts to words and not letters so i can honestly speak the people i need to talk to...
oh shit'''
i wish michelle was here...
my mind wouldnt be like this...
its weirs that i am in almost complete peace when i see her...
i need a beer...
i think im an alchoholic...
fuck