HP Fanfiction - "Alone"
Title: Alone
Author: mr_mercutio
Rating: Hard R
Pairing: Crabbe/Goyle
Word Count: 2,255
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: Greg has always been alone until Vince is there. The Room of Requirement changes this.
Warnings: Dark!fic
Author's Notes: Written for the 2009 hp_springsmut rarepair fest, with the original post found here. Thank you to everyone who recc'd this - you're all superawesometastic. :D
Alone
"Greg."
He is trembling with excitement as they point their wands at Potter. All around them are mounds of mouldering old treasures, rank with mildew and dust, but all Greg smells is the sharp odour of sweat, all he tastes is anticipation, a metallic flavour tinged with terror. He struggles not to blink as he stares Potter down, because maybe none of this is real, maybe they're still asleep in their dorm and Dumbledore is still in charge, ignoring them. It's too close now to let it go, too close.
Then Vince is there, saying something about being rewarded, and Greg grips his wand tighter and holds on to that certainty. At last, they would finally get what they've been waiting for all this time. The Dark Lord would come through, just like Dad always said he would.
Everything falls apart, of course, and eventually Greg's wand is flung from his hand across the room. Vince and Malfoy are screaming at each other and at Potter as curses fly overhead, and Greg is scrabbling for his wand. Vince's rage is terrifying, a bilious stream of hate coming out all at once. Greg wants so bad to calm him down, to just go and lie down away from all this mess. The plan was supposed to work, it was supposed to make everything better, but this is too much. He doesn't want this.
He wishes he could get Vince and Malfoy to stop, to remember that he's here too, but both of them are fixated one way or another on Potter. Greg realizes as he sees the Mudblood hurtling towards him with her wand brandished that he's never felt so alone.
"Greg."
He is lying in the dark. Their dorm is so quiet tonight, the mingled noise of his and Vince's breathing echoing back at them from the empty beds around them. Greg had finally gotten used to Malfoy being gone all the time, with the Dark Lord summoning him at random, but now Zabini and Nott are gone. They just vanished the night before, not a word and not a sign. Greg heard the Carrows talking about it earlier, saying that they must have gone to join the Dark Lord, but he's pretty sure they've just left on their own.
It's hard to sleep without the sound of Nott's snoring, without the laughter as Zabini and Malfoy would play some card game into the night. When Greg first moved into the dorm it used to be the opposite, the slightest noise from one of the others enough to keep him tossing and turning all night, but now the quiet is a hostile thing. He's never felt so alone.
Then Vince is there, curling an arm around him and whispering into his ear to fill the silence. Greg knows that he won't remember anything he says in the morning, just the idea of his soft voice taking up the empty space of the room. Vince doesn't want the silence either, Greg knows, thinking it's easier to pretend that nothing is different, nothing is wrong. That's why he isn't talking about anything important, just the mundane things that they used to care about before the war started.
He could turn over and touch Vince, forget about the cold beds on the other side of the dorm, but he lies still in the cradle of Vince's arms, just letting the murmuring wash over him. Tonight, at least, he doesn't want to pretend that everything's okay.
"Greg."
He is swearing in exasperation as he tries to take off the tiny girl's robe that is now far too small for his body since the Polyjuice has stopped working. Malfoy's still in the Room of Hidden Things but Greg can't bring himself to care right now, not after Potter came on to him. Standing there trapped in a tiny useless body while Potter loomed over him, he had never felt so alone. He wants nothing more than to get out of these stupid clothes and into a shower.
Then Vince is there, laughing at him as he helps tug the little robe over Greg's head. Greg wants to swat at him, but he's been on the opposite side of this arrangement more than once too, helping Vince out of some ridiculous getup, so he bites his tongue and allows Vince to take cheap shots at him as he unbuttons and tugs at the remaining bits of clothing.
Once all of the offending garments are off of him, Greg shuts Vince up with a kiss. It's proven to be a pretty effective way of ending arguments with Vince, and sure enough Vince's jibes are replaced by roving hands and a hot mouth.
Greg tugs Vince into the shower with him, erasing the idea of Potter with the reality in front of him. He kneels down in front of Vince and takes him into his mouth, the sharp taste of him filling his universe until there's nothing but this. Vince's hands curl into Greg's hair as he moans, urging Greg on, and Greg knows that this, at least, is something he's good at.
They end up in Vince's bed, soaking the sheets with the water from their shower. Zabini and Nott are in their Arithmancy class and Malfoy's in the Room, so they don't bother with trying to be quiet. Greg pushes into Vince and it feels amazing to be completely engulfed in him. They rut against each other amidst the sodden sheets, daring each other to be the first to break. Greg loves this part, where it's just the two of them and no one else is there to get in the way or tell them what to do or how to do it. He loves being inside Vince and knowing that Vince sees him, feels him, that for this moment he is everything to Vince. That's the feeling that always pushes him over the edge.
He collapses beside Vince, panting heavily but unable to hide a grin. When he opens his eyes he sees that Vince is grinning back at him.
"Greg."
He is hiding in an old, unused classroom, willing himself not to cry. Goyles don't cry, he knows this, but it had taken all his strength to muster up the courage to ask Queenie Greengrass to come with him to the Yule Ball and she had just laughed in his face. He'd almost punched her then, hating the way her face crinkled so prettily as she cackled at him and ran to tell Parkinson about it, but instead he'd run from the room. He's been sitting amidst the dusty old desks for an hour now, not knowing how he will be able to show his face again. He's never felt so alone.
Then Vince is there, awkwardly slumping against the wall next to him. He doesn't say anything for awhile, just fidgeting and drawing odd patterns into the dust with his finger, and then suddenly he's telling Greg that he'll go to the Ball with him if he wants.
Greg knows that boys aren't supposed to go to Balls together, and he expects that Dad would be pretty upset about it, but he's so relieved that he can't bring himself to care. Because this is so much better than going with Queenie Greengrass. Because this is Vince, who won't make fun of him for being a terrible dancer, who won't expect flowers or well-worded compliments about what he's wearing. Because this will let him just be Greg, without having to worry about trying to impress someone.
He grins and turns his head to agree, and Vince leans in and kisses him. Greg thinks for a moment about decking him for it, but that moment quickly passes and gives way to a decision to kiss Vince back.
"Greg."
He is on the train, sitting alone in one of the compartments and kicking his heels sullenly. Dad had dropped him off early at the platform so he wouldn't be late, and he hasn't seen anyone that he knows yet. A few other students have opened the door to come sit with him, but none of them stayed very long. They barely even said hello to him, just look a few looks at his face and then decided they didn't want to stick around.
Greg has never seen so many other children before in his life, and the thought of spending the next seven years surrounded by them day after day is making him want to hyperventilate. They're all moving in packs, it seems, chattering away at each other and already circling him, cutting him off. He's never felt more alone.
Then Vince is there, that same glower on his face as he trundles into the compartment with his luggage. They both brighten upon seeing the other, and after stowing his things above the seats Vince plops down next to Greg on the seat. Now it would be the two of them. Greg smiles at Vince in relief and pulls out the bag of candy Mum had given him, offering it to Vince. They know that Malfoy will be here soon enough to tell them what to do, like he always does, but for now this is familiar enough. Greg hopes that there'll still be candy at Hogwarts.
"Greg."
He is in the garden, playing with the toy broom that Dad had brought home the other day. He's trying hard not to think about how scared he is, because Mum has said that her friend is coming over today with her little boy, and that they should be friends too. Greg has only ever met one other child, that loud kid named Draco, and it had taken Greg weeks to figure out that the best way to handle Draco was just to do what he said so that he didn't have to listen to a thwarted Draco's angry screams. He hopes that this new boy isn't going to be like that.
The house elf comes out to lay some snacks and lemonade on the patio table, and Greg knows that this means the guests have arrived. He tries to make himself look presentable, like Mum would say, patting down his hair and smoothing out the wrinkles in his clothes. Right now, waiting out here in the garden, he's never felt more alone.
Then Vince is there, and Greg is so relieved that he's a kid who looks a lot like himself, not small and fragile like that Draco. Their Mums introduce them to each other and then tell them to go off and play while the grown-ups chat. After a few moments Greg offers Vince the toy broom, and the beaming grin on Vince's face tells him that Vince must have been just as scared as he was. They don't say very much to each other, but it's the best afternoon Greg has ever had.
"Greg."
He is lying in the corridor for some reason, and he can't remember exactly how he got here. The last image in his mind is that Mudblood coming towards him with her wand, and then a dim impression of terrible heat. All around him are people running about, screaming and throwing curses through the smoky air. He realizes that he's covered in soot and his wand is gone, and he scrabbles around him to try to find it. It seems as though he's been hearing someone call his name, telling him to wake up. Maybe this terrible place is just a dream. He really hopes that's the case.
Finding the body of a Death Eater, Greg manages to salvage a wand. It feels heavy and angry in his hand, but at least it's a weapon. He feels a tiny bit better now, but he still wishes that he knew what happened. He wants to know how he got out of the Room, and where the others are.
Slowly he begins to wander the corridors, looking for Vince, looking for Malfoy, even looking for Potter and his gang. He doesn't recognize anyone; all the Death Eaters are wearing masks and the ones fighting them are mostly unfamiliar adults. They all ignore him as they pass him by, and Greg is for once so glad that no one has any interest in him. He barely recognizes the school like this, and it's as threatening and alien as it was on his first day here.
Finally he finds Malfoy, cowering behind a suit of armour, and Greg comes over to crouch next to him. Malfoy gasps in relief at seeing him, reaching out a hand to clutch Greg's tightly. It's the first time Malfoy has ever touched him without it being a smack on the back of his head. He wants to feel elated by this, to feel like it's something validating like he's always wanted, but it just makes him feel more frightened, more alone.
And Vince isn't there. He asks Malfoy where he is, and then there are tears, tears in Malfoy's eyes. Malfoy starts to stammer something about fire and the Room and Potter and brooms, but Greg isn't listening anymore. Clearly Malfoy isn't going to be of any use right now. He rises up from his crouch despite Malfoy's desperate pleas to stay with him, and he stalks back out to keep combing the corridors.
He knows that Vince must be out there somewhere. He knows that he heard a voice calling his name. He knows. He has to know.
He's never felt so alone.
Author: mr_mercutio
Rating: Hard R
Pairing: Crabbe/Goyle
Word Count: 2,255
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: Greg has always been alone until Vince is there. The Room of Requirement changes this.
Warnings: Dark!fic
Author's Notes: Written for the 2009 hp_springsmut rarepair fest, with the original post found here. Thank you to everyone who recc'd this - you're all superawesometastic. :D
Alone
"Greg."
He is trembling with excitement as they point their wands at Potter. All around them are mounds of mouldering old treasures, rank with mildew and dust, but all Greg smells is the sharp odour of sweat, all he tastes is anticipation, a metallic flavour tinged with terror. He struggles not to blink as he stares Potter down, because maybe none of this is real, maybe they're still asleep in their dorm and Dumbledore is still in charge, ignoring them. It's too close now to let it go, too close.
Then Vince is there, saying something about being rewarded, and Greg grips his wand tighter and holds on to that certainty. At last, they would finally get what they've been waiting for all this time. The Dark Lord would come through, just like Dad always said he would.
Everything falls apart, of course, and eventually Greg's wand is flung from his hand across the room. Vince and Malfoy are screaming at each other and at Potter as curses fly overhead, and Greg is scrabbling for his wand. Vince's rage is terrifying, a bilious stream of hate coming out all at once. Greg wants so bad to calm him down, to just go and lie down away from all this mess. The plan was supposed to work, it was supposed to make everything better, but this is too much. He doesn't want this.
He wishes he could get Vince and Malfoy to stop, to remember that he's here too, but both of them are fixated one way or another on Potter. Greg realizes as he sees the Mudblood hurtling towards him with her wand brandished that he's never felt so alone.
"Greg."
He is lying in the dark. Their dorm is so quiet tonight, the mingled noise of his and Vince's breathing echoing back at them from the empty beds around them. Greg had finally gotten used to Malfoy being gone all the time, with the Dark Lord summoning him at random, but now Zabini and Nott are gone. They just vanished the night before, not a word and not a sign. Greg heard the Carrows talking about it earlier, saying that they must have gone to join the Dark Lord, but he's pretty sure they've just left on their own.
It's hard to sleep without the sound of Nott's snoring, without the laughter as Zabini and Malfoy would play some card game into the night. When Greg first moved into the dorm it used to be the opposite, the slightest noise from one of the others enough to keep him tossing and turning all night, but now the quiet is a hostile thing. He's never felt so alone.
Then Vince is there, curling an arm around him and whispering into his ear to fill the silence. Greg knows that he won't remember anything he says in the morning, just the idea of his soft voice taking up the empty space of the room. Vince doesn't want the silence either, Greg knows, thinking it's easier to pretend that nothing is different, nothing is wrong. That's why he isn't talking about anything important, just the mundane things that they used to care about before the war started.
He could turn over and touch Vince, forget about the cold beds on the other side of the dorm, but he lies still in the cradle of Vince's arms, just letting the murmuring wash over him. Tonight, at least, he doesn't want to pretend that everything's okay.
"Greg."
He is swearing in exasperation as he tries to take off the tiny girl's robe that is now far too small for his body since the Polyjuice has stopped working. Malfoy's still in the Room of Hidden Things but Greg can't bring himself to care right now, not after Potter came on to him. Standing there trapped in a tiny useless body while Potter loomed over him, he had never felt so alone. He wants nothing more than to get out of these stupid clothes and into a shower.
Then Vince is there, laughing at him as he helps tug the little robe over Greg's head. Greg wants to swat at him, but he's been on the opposite side of this arrangement more than once too, helping Vince out of some ridiculous getup, so he bites his tongue and allows Vince to take cheap shots at him as he unbuttons and tugs at the remaining bits of clothing.
Once all of the offending garments are off of him, Greg shuts Vince up with a kiss. It's proven to be a pretty effective way of ending arguments with Vince, and sure enough Vince's jibes are replaced by roving hands and a hot mouth.
Greg tugs Vince into the shower with him, erasing the idea of Potter with the reality in front of him. He kneels down in front of Vince and takes him into his mouth, the sharp taste of him filling his universe until there's nothing but this. Vince's hands curl into Greg's hair as he moans, urging Greg on, and Greg knows that this, at least, is something he's good at.
They end up in Vince's bed, soaking the sheets with the water from their shower. Zabini and Nott are in their Arithmancy class and Malfoy's in the Room, so they don't bother with trying to be quiet. Greg pushes into Vince and it feels amazing to be completely engulfed in him. They rut against each other amidst the sodden sheets, daring each other to be the first to break. Greg loves this part, where it's just the two of them and no one else is there to get in the way or tell them what to do or how to do it. He loves being inside Vince and knowing that Vince sees him, feels him, that for this moment he is everything to Vince. That's the feeling that always pushes him over the edge.
He collapses beside Vince, panting heavily but unable to hide a grin. When he opens his eyes he sees that Vince is grinning back at him.
"Greg."
He is hiding in an old, unused classroom, willing himself not to cry. Goyles don't cry, he knows this, but it had taken all his strength to muster up the courage to ask Queenie Greengrass to come with him to the Yule Ball and she had just laughed in his face. He'd almost punched her then, hating the way her face crinkled so prettily as she cackled at him and ran to tell Parkinson about it, but instead he'd run from the room. He's been sitting amidst the dusty old desks for an hour now, not knowing how he will be able to show his face again. He's never felt so alone.
Then Vince is there, awkwardly slumping against the wall next to him. He doesn't say anything for awhile, just fidgeting and drawing odd patterns into the dust with his finger, and then suddenly he's telling Greg that he'll go to the Ball with him if he wants.
Greg knows that boys aren't supposed to go to Balls together, and he expects that Dad would be pretty upset about it, but he's so relieved that he can't bring himself to care. Because this is so much better than going with Queenie Greengrass. Because this is Vince, who won't make fun of him for being a terrible dancer, who won't expect flowers or well-worded compliments about what he's wearing. Because this will let him just be Greg, without having to worry about trying to impress someone.
He grins and turns his head to agree, and Vince leans in and kisses him. Greg thinks for a moment about decking him for it, but that moment quickly passes and gives way to a decision to kiss Vince back.
"Greg."
He is on the train, sitting alone in one of the compartments and kicking his heels sullenly. Dad had dropped him off early at the platform so he wouldn't be late, and he hasn't seen anyone that he knows yet. A few other students have opened the door to come sit with him, but none of them stayed very long. They barely even said hello to him, just look a few looks at his face and then decided they didn't want to stick around.
Greg has never seen so many other children before in his life, and the thought of spending the next seven years surrounded by them day after day is making him want to hyperventilate. They're all moving in packs, it seems, chattering away at each other and already circling him, cutting him off. He's never felt more alone.
Then Vince is there, that same glower on his face as he trundles into the compartment with his luggage. They both brighten upon seeing the other, and after stowing his things above the seats Vince plops down next to Greg on the seat. Now it would be the two of them. Greg smiles at Vince in relief and pulls out the bag of candy Mum had given him, offering it to Vince. They know that Malfoy will be here soon enough to tell them what to do, like he always does, but for now this is familiar enough. Greg hopes that there'll still be candy at Hogwarts.
"Greg."
He is in the garden, playing with the toy broom that Dad had brought home the other day. He's trying hard not to think about how scared he is, because Mum has said that her friend is coming over today with her little boy, and that they should be friends too. Greg has only ever met one other child, that loud kid named Draco, and it had taken Greg weeks to figure out that the best way to handle Draco was just to do what he said so that he didn't have to listen to a thwarted Draco's angry screams. He hopes that this new boy isn't going to be like that.
The house elf comes out to lay some snacks and lemonade on the patio table, and Greg knows that this means the guests have arrived. He tries to make himself look presentable, like Mum would say, patting down his hair and smoothing out the wrinkles in his clothes. Right now, waiting out here in the garden, he's never felt more alone.
Then Vince is there, and Greg is so relieved that he's a kid who looks a lot like himself, not small and fragile like that Draco. Their Mums introduce them to each other and then tell them to go off and play while the grown-ups chat. After a few moments Greg offers Vince the toy broom, and the beaming grin on Vince's face tells him that Vince must have been just as scared as he was. They don't say very much to each other, but it's the best afternoon Greg has ever had.
"Greg."
He is lying in the corridor for some reason, and he can't remember exactly how he got here. The last image in his mind is that Mudblood coming towards him with her wand, and then a dim impression of terrible heat. All around him are people running about, screaming and throwing curses through the smoky air. He realizes that he's covered in soot and his wand is gone, and he scrabbles around him to try to find it. It seems as though he's been hearing someone call his name, telling him to wake up. Maybe this terrible place is just a dream. He really hopes that's the case.
Finding the body of a Death Eater, Greg manages to salvage a wand. It feels heavy and angry in his hand, but at least it's a weapon. He feels a tiny bit better now, but he still wishes that he knew what happened. He wants to know how he got out of the Room, and where the others are.
Slowly he begins to wander the corridors, looking for Vince, looking for Malfoy, even looking for Potter and his gang. He doesn't recognize anyone; all the Death Eaters are wearing masks and the ones fighting them are mostly unfamiliar adults. They all ignore him as they pass him by, and Greg is for once so glad that no one has any interest in him. He barely recognizes the school like this, and it's as threatening and alien as it was on his first day here.
Finally he finds Malfoy, cowering behind a suit of armour, and Greg comes over to crouch next to him. Malfoy gasps in relief at seeing him, reaching out a hand to clutch Greg's tightly. It's the first time Malfoy has ever touched him without it being a smack on the back of his head. He wants to feel elated by this, to feel like it's something validating like he's always wanted, but it just makes him feel more frightened, more alone.
And Vince isn't there. He asks Malfoy where he is, and then there are tears, tears in Malfoy's eyes. Malfoy starts to stammer something about fire and the Room and Potter and brooms, but Greg isn't listening anymore. Clearly Malfoy isn't going to be of any use right now. He rises up from his crouch despite Malfoy's desperate pleas to stay with him, and he stalks back out to keep combing the corridors.
He knows that Vince must be out there somewhere. He knows that he heard a voice calling his name. He knows. He has to know.
He's never felt so alone.