Jonday! (Not jaundice)
It is my birthday today! I expect showerings of adulation, folks. SHOWERINGS. ADULATION. By which I mean presents.
Also, my Donia will not be here today, which makes me sad. This is not her fault, though. It's Julianne Moore's fault. That's right. So the following is a letter to Julianne Moore, expressing how I feel:
"Dear Ms. Moore:
You suck. You ruined my birthday, and therefore you are henceforth in my sight an abomination. Full of lies and deceit and birthday-wrecking schemes to keep my Donia on set. I have thrown away your ring and torn up that picture of us together, and from now on your name shall not be spoken in my presence. You are no longer my bosom chum.
Sincerely yours,
Jon."
If you're reading this, Julianne, I mean it! You're totally not my friend anymore. That's what you get for being a birthday-wrecker. I'll still watch you in movies but from now on I will always sneer at you the first time you appear on screen. FROM NOW ON. *goes to put on The Hours just to sneer at you*
Beyond the deceitful betrayal of Julianne Moore, it's shaping up to be a good day. HEAP YOUR LOVE UPON ME NOW. LOVE. HEAPINGS. ADULATION. PRESENTS.
Also, my Donia will not be here today, which makes me sad. This is not her fault, though. It's Julianne Moore's fault. That's right. So the following is a letter to Julianne Moore, expressing how I feel:
"Dear Ms. Moore:
You suck. You ruined my birthday, and therefore you are henceforth in my sight an abomination. Full of lies and deceit and birthday-wrecking schemes to keep my Donia on set. I have thrown away your ring and torn up that picture of us together, and from now on your name shall not be spoken in my presence. You are no longer my bosom chum.
Sincerely yours,
Jon."
If you're reading this, Julianne, I mean it! You're totally not my friend anymore. That's what you get for being a birthday-wrecker. I'll still watch you in movies but from now on I will always sneer at you the first time you appear on screen. FROM NOW ON. *goes to put on The Hours just to sneer at you*
Beyond the deceitful betrayal of Julianne Moore, it's shaping up to be a good day. HEAP YOUR LOVE UPON ME NOW. LOVE. HEAPINGS. ADULATION. PRESENTS.