Have you heard the good news?
Okay…I admit it. It’s in my blood. I’m infected. It’s there, and I’m never going to be rid of it, so I might as well let it loose the best way I know how. As much as I try not to be…as much as I wonder that this makes me seem even more of a bitter old shit than I really am, I still can’t change the fact that I am, always have been, and always will be a political junkie.
I want to pick my battles carefully. I want to ignore the vast majority of the crap that flies over the airwaves, plopping into our eyes and ears every minute we listen to the radio, read the internet or watch the news. I want to speak only of the true gems…the vitriolic rants of my youth. “Err on the side of life.” No. Today I’m going to deliver a good ol’ rant about war as prompted by the president’s speech last night about a troop surge.
Hey! Why not…have an article!
http://www.fortwayne.com/mld/journalgazette/news/nation/16434936.htm
I choose this one because it’s a small paper from a small town. Also because of the picture of the two 7-year old kids in battle dress uniform…boy, isn’t THAT just a republican’s wet dream. If only they could recruit ‘em that young…oh, if only. And, to be sure, that would solve the immediate concerns of the question of just where the fuck we’re going to find bodies to fill the twenty-two thousand brand new uniforms being shipped over to the middle east, based on the plan outlined in a speech last night by Our Fearless Leader.
I also chose it because of the veracity and amusement of the headline as I first read it: Extra U.S. Troops to Play Support Role in Middle East. Boy…if that didn’t fire me up. Okay, the advance reports told us all that Baby Bush was going to launch between 20 and 24 thousand children across the sea and wave his pecker in Congress’s collective face while cackling hideously and screaming, “Commander in Chief, faggots! Commander in Chief!” Pretty much, he’d been planning to do this from the moment the “liberal” congress got elected a few months ago, and an aide said, in response to Bush crapping himself, that Congress can do approximately nnnnnnnnnnnnnOTHING to curtail his ability to order troops all over the world based on nothing more than whim.
Oh, they can cut his purse strings, and isn’t that just grand, but this involves a number of steps…because Rat faggotry isn’t very good at going head-to-head with Pube warmonstering. First they caucus, then they form a committee, then they draft a resolution, then they scrap that one and re-draft the resolution to make it more unilateral and bipartisan, then they send the redrafted resolution to congressional committee to be looked over which can then sit in committee for as long as it feels like. Even “fast-tracked” there’s every probability that by the time the purse strings are cut, the troops will already be over there, and shipping them back is going to be a total bitch.
So. Pat yourselves on the back, America. Our newly elected Rat Congress ran under the platform of stopping the war and stopping the corruption. And what can they do to stop the war? Watch placidly from their glazed-over cow eyes on the sidelines while our fucking hophead maniac President does what any ham-fisted balloon animal in his position would do and redoubles the assault. What can Congress do? Run in front of every camera that will have them and say little more than, “OMFG that guy is such a dick!”
Now…on the other hand, there is every possibility that three months from now when they finally start putting out some of that ever-promised budget reform we never see a whole lot of, that the hammer will finally drop. While it makes us LOOK disorganized and shady and sketchy and all that to send 20,000 kids overseas then ship them back (hopefully with 20,000 of their best new friends) three months later, it’s entirely possible it could happen.
And hey…why not let’s replace them with an army of 20,000 diplomats and get this shit worked out all proper-like? Because diplomats, in the eyes of Our Fearless Leader, are ineffectualitive against turrarists. This is just how well he knows the mindset of the modern turrarist. He’s IN THERE like nobody’s business. He sees what they see. He knows what they know. Exemplificated by this quote: “There were not enough Iraqi and American troops to secure neighborhoods that had been cleared of terrorists and insurgents.” This, clearly, is a man with a healthy idea of exactly how a war is actually fought…y’know…from all that combat experience he had getting drunk and slagging off in basic training, disappearing for days at a time and then having the unmitigated audacity to berate Kerry for having actually BEEN THERE (yes, I’m still sore about that, and no, I won’t get over it just yet…give me another 2 years to bitch about it).
Once again, El Presidente’s mindset becomes blatently clear when we read things like this. That the terrorists and insurgents invade neighborhoods wearing big, red blazers with the word, “Terrorist” on the front. Our boys (the ones in the blue blazers with ‘Murrican on the front) show up and shoot them. When our boys leave the neighborhood, under cover of darkness, more redshirts sneak in and set up little training camps and things. He honestly doesn’t seem to realize that this is the civilian population taking up arms and becoming an extemporaneous paramilitary force, choosing to rise up every time our invasion force brings the horror of war to their doorstep. He doesn’t seem to remember the history behind such forces…like that funny time way back when there was another fight between blue shirts and red shirts.
What apparently makes America great? Freedom.
How did we get it? Fought for it.
How did that happen? Insurgents fought a revolution against an occupying force.
What is Iraq doing right this moment? Umm…Insurgents…are fighting…for freedom…against foreign occupation forces…oh…yeah.
Congratulations, America! We’ve come full circle!
And, for an encore, we’re going to reinstate slave labour…oh! We already did that, too, by using free-trade agreements to set up sweat shop production facilities in the third world. Hey! 1984 now? Try 1784. 1784 with nukes.
And just what the fuck is going on in the vaunted houses of Congress to put a stop to this insane fucking shooting war? What are we doing to heal the rifts? What are the Rats doing to work together with the Pubes? What kind of SWEEPING REFORMS are making their way through the Whores? http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/01/10/AR2007011002075.html?nav=rss_politics Pelosi bans smoking on the house floor! Wayl HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLEEEEEEEEE SHEEIT! I can breathe easier knowing THAT!
REST EASY, AMERICA! EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL!
I want to pick my battles carefully. I want to ignore the vast majority of the crap that flies over the airwaves, plopping into our eyes and ears every minute we listen to the radio, read the internet or watch the news. I want to speak only of the true gems…the vitriolic rants of my youth. “Err on the side of life.” No. Today I’m going to deliver a good ol’ rant about war as prompted by the president’s speech last night about a troop surge.
Hey! Why not…have an article!
http://www.fortwayne.com/mld/journalgazette/news/nation/16434936.htm
I choose this one because it’s a small paper from a small town. Also because of the picture of the two 7-year old kids in battle dress uniform…boy, isn’t THAT just a republican’s wet dream. If only they could recruit ‘em that young…oh, if only. And, to be sure, that would solve the immediate concerns of the question of just where the fuck we’re going to find bodies to fill the twenty-two thousand brand new uniforms being shipped over to the middle east, based on the plan outlined in a speech last night by Our Fearless Leader.
I also chose it because of the veracity and amusement of the headline as I first read it: Extra U.S. Troops to Play Support Role in Middle East. Boy…if that didn’t fire me up. Okay, the advance reports told us all that Baby Bush was going to launch between 20 and 24 thousand children across the sea and wave his pecker in Congress’s collective face while cackling hideously and screaming, “Commander in Chief, faggots! Commander in Chief!” Pretty much, he’d been planning to do this from the moment the “liberal” congress got elected a few months ago, and an aide said, in response to Bush crapping himself, that Congress can do approximately nnnnnnnnnnnnnOTHING to curtail his ability to order troops all over the world based on nothing more than whim.
Oh, they can cut his purse strings, and isn’t that just grand, but this involves a number of steps…because Rat faggotry isn’t very good at going head-to-head with Pube warmonstering. First they caucus, then they form a committee, then they draft a resolution, then they scrap that one and re-draft the resolution to make it more unilateral and bipartisan, then they send the redrafted resolution to congressional committee to be looked over which can then sit in committee for as long as it feels like. Even “fast-tracked” there’s every probability that by the time the purse strings are cut, the troops will already be over there, and shipping them back is going to be a total bitch.
So. Pat yourselves on the back, America. Our newly elected Rat Congress ran under the platform of stopping the war and stopping the corruption. And what can they do to stop the war? Watch placidly from their glazed-over cow eyes on the sidelines while our fucking hophead maniac President does what any ham-fisted balloon animal in his position would do and redoubles the assault. What can Congress do? Run in front of every camera that will have them and say little more than, “OMFG that guy is such a dick!”
Now…on the other hand, there is every possibility that three months from now when they finally start putting out some of that ever-promised budget reform we never see a whole lot of, that the hammer will finally drop. While it makes us LOOK disorganized and shady and sketchy and all that to send 20,000 kids overseas then ship them back (hopefully with 20,000 of their best new friends) three months later, it’s entirely possible it could happen.
And hey…why not let’s replace them with an army of 20,000 diplomats and get this shit worked out all proper-like? Because diplomats, in the eyes of Our Fearless Leader, are ineffectualitive against turrarists. This is just how well he knows the mindset of the modern turrarist. He’s IN THERE like nobody’s business. He sees what they see. He knows what they know. Exemplificated by this quote: “There were not enough Iraqi and American troops to secure neighborhoods that had been cleared of terrorists and insurgents.” This, clearly, is a man with a healthy idea of exactly how a war is actually fought…y’know…from all that combat experience he had getting drunk and slagging off in basic training, disappearing for days at a time and then having the unmitigated audacity to berate Kerry for having actually BEEN THERE (yes, I’m still sore about that, and no, I won’t get over it just yet…give me another 2 years to bitch about it).
Once again, El Presidente’s mindset becomes blatently clear when we read things like this. That the terrorists and insurgents invade neighborhoods wearing big, red blazers with the word, “Terrorist” on the front. Our boys (the ones in the blue blazers with ‘Murrican on the front) show up and shoot them. When our boys leave the neighborhood, under cover of darkness, more redshirts sneak in and set up little training camps and things. He honestly doesn’t seem to realize that this is the civilian population taking up arms and becoming an extemporaneous paramilitary force, choosing to rise up every time our invasion force brings the horror of war to their doorstep. He doesn’t seem to remember the history behind such forces…like that funny time way back when there was another fight between blue shirts and red shirts.
What apparently makes America great? Freedom.
How did we get it? Fought for it.
How did that happen? Insurgents fought a revolution against an occupying force.
What is Iraq doing right this moment? Umm…Insurgents…are fighting…for freedom…against foreign occupation forces…oh…yeah.
Congratulations, America! We’ve come full circle!
And, for an encore, we’re going to reinstate slave labour…oh! We already did that, too, by using free-trade agreements to set up sweat shop production facilities in the third world. Hey! 1984 now? Try 1784. 1784 with nukes.
And just what the fuck is going on in the vaunted houses of Congress to put a stop to this insane fucking shooting war? What are we doing to heal the rifts? What are the Rats doing to work together with the Pubes? What kind of SWEEPING REFORMS are making their way through the Whores? http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/01/10/AR2007011002075.html?nav=rss_politics Pelosi bans smoking on the house floor! Wayl HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLEEEEEEEEE SHEEIT! I can breathe easier knowing THAT!
REST EASY, AMERICA! EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL!