Today
I saw this middle school kid with a thumb tack stuck in his braces. He looked me in the eye as he passed, saying "WHOOOOA!"
Middle school humor is so fucked up! I know a few goobers who seem permanently stuck in this phase.
I recall my middle school experience pretty dern well. During this time I...
A: Grew a dislike for lots of dummie dums
B: Ate an excess of food
C: Played with Yo-Yo's (and was called FAG for that)
D: Participate in recording the groundbreaking sounds known as The Klondike Experience and the Apocalyptic Death Nuggets
E: Hung out with this violent metal guy (favorite band = Pantera) named Shawn who lived in the room above Andrew Kirk's garage. He drove a camero (after totaling 3 other cars), gave us beer, smoked 3 packs of "Camel Wides" cigarettes a day (Blecghk!), made a bomb, was excessively racist, and played Duke Nukem Zero Hour with us 7th graders. I can tell now why he was never hanging out with anyone his actual age (25, although he looked at least 35). He skipped town with pending car payments to Andrew's dad and last we heard he had joined the army or something (the joke was if he went to boot camp he'd ALREADY HAVE HIS BOOTS!). He was a great role model for us at the time. I'm glad i snagged a few leftover Slayer tapes (along with some other REALLY shitty metal bands, like Anthrax) last time I was at Andrew's to remember him with.
F: Made fun of the lame kids who rode scooters (aptly deemed "Skütor Punx"). I always classified myself as one of the skater kids, despite being to panzy to ride them (this followed the first time i fell in 6th grade). "RIDE TO THE END!!"
G: Drew lots of mismatched cyborgs in math, most notably there were "Techno Destructo" (an angry microwave with lobster hands, conveyor belts, and dials) and Ben's "Perro-bot" (a dog with tank treds in place of its legs).
H: Was racist and conservative, despite listening to many subversive bands. I think i was in 8th grade before I actually started to PONDER THE LYRICS of bands like DK. I voted for Bush in our 2000 mock election. Good ole hypocrisy!
I: Became one with ROBOCOP, HULK HOGAN, and REPO MAN.
J: Started hating emo due to bands like MxPx and A New Found Glory. FUCK THAT SHIT. Emotions are good, not sappyemotionexploitingcorporaterock. Go whine to your mommy!
K: Saw The Bricks + Roswell at the 2424 for an intense introduction to the Savannah rock 'n' rollers.
L: Developed apathy (6th grade).
MAN THE GLORY DAYS!
take er XTRA cheezie, fellas 'n' fembots!
Middle school humor is so fucked up! I know a few goobers who seem permanently stuck in this phase.
I recall my middle school experience pretty dern well. During this time I...
A: Grew a dislike for lots of dummie dums
B: Ate an excess of food
C: Played with Yo-Yo's (and was called FAG for that)
D: Participate in recording the groundbreaking sounds known as The Klondike Experience and the Apocalyptic Death Nuggets
E: Hung out with this violent metal guy (favorite band = Pantera) named Shawn who lived in the room above Andrew Kirk's garage. He drove a camero (after totaling 3 other cars), gave us beer, smoked 3 packs of "Camel Wides" cigarettes a day (Blecghk!), made a bomb, was excessively racist, and played Duke Nukem Zero Hour with us 7th graders. I can tell now why he was never hanging out with anyone his actual age (25, although he looked at least 35). He skipped town with pending car payments to Andrew's dad and last we heard he had joined the army or something (the joke was if he went to boot camp he'd ALREADY HAVE HIS BOOTS!). He was a great role model for us at the time. I'm glad i snagged a few leftover Slayer tapes (along with some other REALLY shitty metal bands, like Anthrax) last time I was at Andrew's to remember him with.
F: Made fun of the lame kids who rode scooters (aptly deemed "Skütor Punx"). I always classified myself as one of the skater kids, despite being to panzy to ride them (this followed the first time i fell in 6th grade). "RIDE TO THE END!!"
G: Drew lots of mismatched cyborgs in math, most notably there were "Techno Destructo" (an angry microwave with lobster hands, conveyor belts, and dials) and Ben's "Perro-bot" (a dog with tank treds in place of its legs).
H: Was racist and conservative, despite listening to many subversive bands. I think i was in 8th grade before I actually started to PONDER THE LYRICS of bands like DK. I voted for Bush in our 2000 mock election. Good ole hypocrisy!
I: Became one with ROBOCOP, HULK HOGAN, and REPO MAN.
J: Started hating emo due to bands like MxPx and A New Found Glory. FUCK THAT SHIT. Emotions are good, not sappyemotionexploitingcorporaterock. Go whine to your mommy!
K: Saw The Bricks + Roswell at the 2424 for an intense introduction to the Savannah rock 'n' rollers.
L: Developed apathy (6th grade).
MAN THE GLORY DAYS!
take er XTRA cheezie, fellas 'n' fembots!