Promised post
I promised some thoughts, so here they are.
All is good and well here. I'm in pretty happy spirits for the circumstances. I miss all you guys a lot though, I really have the feeling of wanting to play poker or hang out or play soccer today, but I can't. Oh well.
I'm still overall happy and surprised at how this change hasn't been so bad. I think this was a much needed change for me. At least for the sake of taking away the stress and nerves that come with moving away. As well, I think this will help Jolene in the end. We both kind of pushed people away in the last few months, some unknowingly and some for actual reasons. (I've posted before about my situation with friends though, so, no more there. ) Hopefully, in the end, it'll allow us both to mature and grow up over the next few months and beyond that. Of course, not saying I don't miss her or don't her still love her, you people should know me better than that. It's just accepting the situation, taking it for what it is, getting the best out of it, and enjoying life for what it is at the present.
And now for a few words, which I'm sure will be taken wrong and perhaps may spark several LJ comments back. *shrugs*
A general statement to all: (note: Emalee this doesn't really apply to you, I don't think you've repeatedly attacked at all so, you made your point your own way :D )
Jolene is accepting this slowly and settling into the new situation. It's not just with me moving away, but with college and other aspects of growing up. Of course, the rest of you can't tell. You've become lost in speaking your mind and constantly pounding your points in an attacking manner. Thus, resulting in her bitter responses back. If you'd step away from your point, let it be, and maybe try to have calm discussion on said subject, you'd be able to see that she is starting to grow up and knows that she has to. People like Allison, Rusty, and Megan said what they had to say and it was accepted. Thus, no bitterness between them and they go on as they were before with Jolene helped out a little bit. Least they know how to go about something like this.
It's all good and well to tell someone, whether you once considered them a friend or still do, that they need to change or that they are taking something overboard, etc etc etc. There is positively nothing wrong with telling someone in a respectful manner something like that. However, once your point is made, let it go folks. A continuation of attacks will only completely ruin a friendship. (Yes, Rosa, we all know you don't want to be friends with her in the first place, you two just hate each other :p) As well, they won't magically make something change in an instant. Change is a slow process for many people while others accept it like nothing ever happened. She knows by now (even though she did well before any of you mentioned anything) all the points that you guys have made. Now though, that everythings been said, it'll be interesting to see which of you can open your eyes and realize that if you want to actually be friends with her, you have to just let her grow up on her own now. Real friends are ones who can speak their minds, even if the words are harsh back and forth, but can still set them aside once their point has been made in order to remain friends. Sadly however, a few of you probably have went beyond that point already . . .
As a pretty mature person here, not perfectly mature obviously (no one is), I'd just like to say that I think Jolene isn't the only one that has to grow up.
In no means am I trying to attack anyone, I'm just trying to make you aware of the above. If anyone cares to have a calm discussion about my words, I'll gladly do so. :-)
All is good and well here. I'm in pretty happy spirits for the circumstances. I miss all you guys a lot though, I really have the feeling of wanting to play poker or hang out or play soccer today, but I can't. Oh well.
I'm still overall happy and surprised at how this change hasn't been so bad. I think this was a much needed change for me. At least for the sake of taking away the stress and nerves that come with moving away. As well, I think this will help Jolene in the end. We both kind of pushed people away in the last few months, some unknowingly and some for actual reasons. (I've posted before about my situation with friends though, so, no more there. ) Hopefully, in the end, it'll allow us both to mature and grow up over the next few months and beyond that. Of course, not saying I don't miss her or don't her still love her, you people should know me better than that. It's just accepting the situation, taking it for what it is, getting the best out of it, and enjoying life for what it is at the present.
And now for a few words, which I'm sure will be taken wrong and perhaps may spark several LJ comments back. *shrugs*
A general statement to all: (note: Emalee this doesn't really apply to you, I don't think you've repeatedly attacked at all so, you made your point your own way :D )
Jolene is accepting this slowly and settling into the new situation. It's not just with me moving away, but with college and other aspects of growing up. Of course, the rest of you can't tell. You've become lost in speaking your mind and constantly pounding your points in an attacking manner. Thus, resulting in her bitter responses back. If you'd step away from your point, let it be, and maybe try to have calm discussion on said subject, you'd be able to see that she is starting to grow up and knows that she has to. People like Allison, Rusty, and Megan said what they had to say and it was accepted. Thus, no bitterness between them and they go on as they were before with Jolene helped out a little bit. Least they know how to go about something like this.
It's all good and well to tell someone, whether you once considered them a friend or still do, that they need to change or that they are taking something overboard, etc etc etc. There is positively nothing wrong with telling someone in a respectful manner something like that. However, once your point is made, let it go folks. A continuation of attacks will only completely ruin a friendship. (Yes, Rosa, we all know you don't want to be friends with her in the first place, you two just hate each other :p) As well, they won't magically make something change in an instant. Change is a slow process for many people while others accept it like nothing ever happened. She knows by now (even though she did well before any of you mentioned anything) all the points that you guys have made. Now though, that everythings been said, it'll be interesting to see which of you can open your eyes and realize that if you want to actually be friends with her, you have to just let her grow up on her own now. Real friends are ones who can speak their minds, even if the words are harsh back and forth, but can still set them aside once their point has been made in order to remain friends. Sadly however, a few of you probably have went beyond that point already . . .
As a pretty mature person here, not perfectly mature obviously (no one is), I'd just like to say that I think Jolene isn't the only one that has to grow up.
In no means am I trying to attack anyone, I'm just trying to make you aware of the above. If anyone cares to have a calm discussion about my words, I'll gladly do so. :-)