The debut
Hello good citizens of the United States. How do I know that you are a good citizen? You are reading this right now. If you are a good citizen, but of a country that is not the United States SHAME ON YOU! Move here, learn the pledge of alligiance and then maybe we'll talk.
If you got here by accident, keep reading. You need a good, strong dosage of what I like to call THE TRUTH. For everyone else, you may not be sick like these jokers, but it never helps to get a vaccination. My name is Stephen Colbert. Col-bear with a silent t like a real bear that says grrr. Though don't associate me with bears. Bears are scary and want to take all our honey. Forget Osama. The worst terrorists ever to walk the planet are these vicious hairy beasts with a sweet tooth. Winnie the Pooh my ass! It's a ruse to lure you into a cave of doom. They are not cuddly. All they want from you is your flesh so they can rip off your bones! And if you happen to have some honey on you, you can bet that they'll use it as a tasty condiment on a human kabob. You don't want that and neither do I.
If you got here by accident, keep reading. You need a good, strong dosage of what I like to call THE TRUTH. For everyone else, you may not be sick like these jokers, but it never helps to get a vaccination. My name is Stephen Colbert. Col-bear with a silent t like a real bear that says grrr. Though don't associate me with bears. Bears are scary and want to take all our honey. Forget Osama. The worst terrorists ever to walk the planet are these vicious hairy beasts with a sweet tooth. Winnie the Pooh my ass! It's a ruse to lure you into a cave of doom. They are not cuddly. All they want from you is your flesh so they can rip off your bones! And if you happen to have some honey on you, you can bet that they'll use it as a tasty condiment on a human kabob. You don't want that and neither do I.