You know who is a great man? Elvis. I say is because despite what many of you say, the King is not dead. He's hanging out in Mexico buying Cadillacs with his homie Tupac. Wut wut.
Before his alleged death Elvis famously sang that "fools rush in". I've done my share of rushing. Rushing for my frat in college, rushing the quarterback when I played football, rushing to get the last can of Pringles at the supermarket (once you pop, the fun don't stop!) but one thing I definite don't rush into is the gay.
Ok, so yeah, maybe I have a beautiful baby 20 year old girl, and maybe she was conceived one night while myself, Tony Stark, sea foam green mist, and a giant bottle of tequila (I ate the worm!) were in the same room. Whatever. There was a girl there too. Maria the room service housekeeper brought us wonderfully fluffy towels. Not that we needed them.
I'm the exception the proves the rule. I'm here to tell the world that yes Virginia, a girl can have two hetero daddies. How can you look at
this piece of man meat and not think hot and sweaty man-woman love that smells like science and cash?
Um. He looks like a drug dealer there. Maybe
this? Or
this?
Tony,
stop looking so gay, it's ruining my argument.
Better yet,
just look at me. I'm the one who brought sexy back anyway. Patriotic AND manly! What more could you ask for? Nothing, except maybe a cigarette after a round of hot hot lovin'.
OOC: Muses referred to are
aestark and
xaxayayana who are fantastic enough to be my partners in crime with all this silliness.