I don't like vet school.
Vet school bores me. That probably sounds arrogant, and I suppose it is. I'm not saying it's too easy; I'm saying it's challenging for the wrong reasons. I am really good at really bad analogies, and here is one for you: I love basketball-- even practicing for basketball-- and I hate track, except perhaps the competitions themselves. The difference is, even though both require hours of effort and practice, basketball requires a lot of skills. It demands creativity, responsiveness, intuition, readiness. Track requires one thing: stamina. You run, you run short distance, you run long distance. I could spend 5 hours a day practicing basketball, and while I'd regret the loss of my spare time, I would never get sick of the practice itself.
Vet school, right now, is like track. I enjoy challenges that require creativity and perspective; I enjoy arguing with people on Reddit, I enjoy writing about religion and reading books that challenge me to think in new ways, then determining which of these ideas I agree with and then applying them to my life. I enjoy writing and practicing music, and I used to love writing papers on various topics for my Gen Ed classes. But what vet school requires is rote learning. I don't care whether it is applied or not. Some students salivate when they are given a real live case to discuss; to me, it makes no difference. I'm memorizing clinical signs, I'm memorizing vitamins, I'm memorizing formulas. I'm sure I could get all A's, but I just don't care enough. It's boring; it's torture. I get no sleep; it's 11:30 and I'm hoping to finally start studying for the 9am exam tomorrow after I finish this post. It's doubtful that I will. This is after starting at 3am studying for Monday's exam, and being tired all day yesterday and today.
I keep asking myself, "what is wrong with me." But I know, now, that nothing is wrong with me. And I still believe I know the answer to my problems: limit the amount of time I spend on school, even if that means putting a limit on the grades I achieve, and spend time each day doing something that I enjoy, that engages my mind differently. I've got all kinds of things I can do; I have three books I've started writing, and I want to enter quite a few essay contests. But I know that I have to plow through this boring memorization stuff first, and I just can't make myself do it. I'm starting to wonder if I should get help. I know my Dad would recommend just being stronger and Doing It. He would tell me You Can Change If You Want To, and it's just a matter of making the decision and being strong. But that's not working. It hasn't worked for weeks. I'm barely hanging on here. I need a drastic change. I need a little help.
Just a lil'.--
Vet school, right now, is like track. I enjoy challenges that require creativity and perspective; I enjoy arguing with people on Reddit, I enjoy writing about religion and reading books that challenge me to think in new ways, then determining which of these ideas I agree with and then applying them to my life. I enjoy writing and practicing music, and I used to love writing papers on various topics for my Gen Ed classes. But what vet school requires is rote learning. I don't care whether it is applied or not. Some students salivate when they are given a real live case to discuss; to me, it makes no difference. I'm memorizing clinical signs, I'm memorizing vitamins, I'm memorizing formulas. I'm sure I could get all A's, but I just don't care enough. It's boring; it's torture. I get no sleep; it's 11:30 and I'm hoping to finally start studying for the 9am exam tomorrow after I finish this post. It's doubtful that I will. This is after starting at 3am studying for Monday's exam, and being tired all day yesterday and today.
I keep asking myself, "what is wrong with me." But I know, now, that nothing is wrong with me. And I still believe I know the answer to my problems: limit the amount of time I spend on school, even if that means putting a limit on the grades I achieve, and spend time each day doing something that I enjoy, that engages my mind differently. I've got all kinds of things I can do; I have three books I've started writing, and I want to enter quite a few essay contests. But I know that I have to plow through this boring memorization stuff first, and I just can't make myself do it. I'm starting to wonder if I should get help. I know my Dad would recommend just being stronger and Doing It. He would tell me You Can Change If You Want To, and it's just a matter of making the decision and being strong. But that's not working. It hasn't worked for weeks. I'm barely hanging on here. I need a drastic change. I need a little help.
Just a lil'.--