Gorillas in the mud.
The happy thing about gorillas is they spend all their time being gorillas. They don't worry about whether they're good enough or if their hair is the right color or style or even if other gorillas have more hair on their backs than they have.
They're just too busy getting on with the business of being gorillas.
People, on the other hand, are all trying to be anything they're not.
We seem to feel we are always less than perfect, always lacking something or wearing the wrong clothes or even feeling the wrong feelings. How strange.
The fact is we are all just fine the way we are, and it's only a matter of believing that. It's what we DO that is important or not. Am I doing anything at all that is going to have a negative impact on myself or anyone around me? If I know it and do it anyway, that makes my behaviour bad, but what does it say about me as a person?
It doesn't say a great deal, but it implies and suggests that I can change my behaviour. That doesn't make a better person though. It might make me a happier person, and it more than likely would. But it doesn't make me a better person.
I was watching Episode 3 again today. (Star Wars.) Palpatine proclaims his empire and vows to bring peace to the first galactic empire and the senate cheers. Padme says quietly "So this is how democracy ends - with cheering." It struck me as being eerily similar to the American situation where the Bush administration is imposing its ideals of good and evil on everyone else in the world. They think they're doing it for all the right reasons. But they're wrong. You can't impose freedom on anyone. That's just another form of tyranny. The only freedom is freedom of choice - and that includes the freedom to reject an overabundance of choice - which is what corporations like Coca Cola and Nike are doing their best to overcome.
What has this to do with humanity as a species?
Plenty. When I make a note of what music is currently playing when I finish writing one of these entries, it's not just because that's what I'm playing. It's because I would like someone else to notice that and express their approval. Call it a bit of minor tyranny in itself, but I would like everyone to experience the same foot-stomping joy I get when I listen to those songs. Is that a bad thing?
In a word, yes it is. Just because something makes me happy or brings me joy, doesn't mean it will do the same for everyone and I have no earthly right to expect anything different. When I ask anyone reading this to share their favorite bits of music, it's because I want to see if I can experience the same joy as them. It's one thing to ask, it's just not acceptable to impose.
It's all this expectation on us to wear the right things, say the right things, feel the right things and do what pleases others that leads to massive unhappiness. I don't want to wear what everyone else is wearing - so I don't. Neither do I want everyone to wear what I'm wearing - that would annoy me no end.
Where am I going with this?
Am I ever glad I asked that very question on behalf of all of you. :)
There are a few Backstreet Boys songs I like. Not many, just a few. Apparently, according to some ethereal standard set by nobody in particular, I'm neither supposed nor allowed to like ANY Backstreet Boys music. It's considered as gayness.
Pardon me? What?
I like upbeat songs - it's as simple as that. I don't like depressing or angry songs. And I choose to listen to them because I like them and I don't care if anyone has a problem with that. That's their problem, not mine. I don't have a problem listening to what I like.
More to the point though, big fucking deal if it is gayness. Get over it and get a life and quit trying to impose your values onto me. I'm not into it but I'm sure as hell not going to suggest for an instant that being gay is less worthy than being straight. People get really upset when I tell them I don't chase women either. Sure there are some stunningly beautiful ones, but I'm content to look at them the same way I listen to my music. I get just as much enjoyment out of my sensual pleasures as others get out of their physical and sexual pleasures. It pisses a lot of people off, but strange as it may seem, I'm very happy being the way I am and I have no intention of changing that. I'm not hurting anyone by keeping myself to myself and if anyone is hurt by that, it's not by my doing - because I don't do anything.
I just wouldn't make a very successful gorilla. But then, being a gorilla, that wouldn't worry me either.
What about trying to help others who are feeling down?
I might be completely wrong about this, and if I am, that's ok too - I can always change what I believe if I get more information - but the best thing I think I can do is give someone who is down the opportunity to give of themselves. Sure I can give advice - if someone asks for it, but it's a dodgy business just dishing it out and platitudes make me sick. I get annoyed when people tell me what a good person I am as if I didn't already know that. I have my ratbag side, but it's only the really negative things that make me get aggressive. Things like bigotry, ignorance and injustice.
Injustice is another concept loaded with subjectivity - to some.
Not to me.
Actually, it's pretty simple. Don't make victims of others. Be honest. Don't allow others to make a victim of themselves and blame you for it either. And don't accept dishonesty from anyone. Life may not seem fair, but fairness doesn't have an awful lot to do with justice. It might not seem fair that everyone else has a girlfriend and I don't. But what's the alternative? Imposing upon some girl to make her be my girlfriend just because I happen to think she should be? Is that fair on her. I don't think so. It might not seem fair that I gave so much to my little brother and he gave me nothing in return. That was entirely my choice to do so and I wouldn't have had it any other way. He owed me nothing.
If it comes back to that idea of giving and taking, Christopher loved me and allowed me the honor to love him in return. It's being able to love him still that I miss most about him. It would have been a tragedy of Shakespearian proportion if he didn't want what I most wanted to give him, which was all the love I could.
Now, on that basis, I know what the lovelorn suffer. Not being able to show your love to someone you just happen to love a great deal is just about the worst kind of hurt I can think of. Needless to say, it's impossible for me to show my love for my little brother now that he's dead, so it just remains for me to move on and give that expression a voice somewhere else. I do it with my writing. My hope is that someone somewhere gets something out of it. If Christopher hadn't died, but just took himself off and wanted nothing to do with me any more, for whatever reason - stated or otherwise - it still remains that my only course of action is to turn my attention somewhere else. Focus on other things I enjoy or things I want to achieve.
For when it all boils down to it, whether we have someone to love or we don't, everything in the whole world is utterly pointless if we don't choose to love ourselves for who we are. The wrong color hair, the wrong taste in music, the wrong clothes, the wrong likes and dislikes etc etc etc. All those things are ours. I have the wrong hair style - but it's how I want it to be. When it's not, I get it cut. I wear all the wrong clothes, but I like them and I'm comfortable wearing them. I have the wrong taste in music, but I like my music and nobody is going to take that away from me. I like playing Starcraft for half a day at a time, nobody is going to take that away from me. Only I can choose to continue liking Starcraft or not liking it anymore. The point is, with all my socially unacceptable habits and tastes, I'm perfectly happy being who I am and I enjoy doing what I do. If it were any different, I'd change what I do and be a different sort of person. It's as simple as making the effort required to change. Yes, it's that simple.
Love to those who need it - Paul.
They're just too busy getting on with the business of being gorillas.
People, on the other hand, are all trying to be anything they're not.
We seem to feel we are always less than perfect, always lacking something or wearing the wrong clothes or even feeling the wrong feelings. How strange.
The fact is we are all just fine the way we are, and it's only a matter of believing that. It's what we DO that is important or not. Am I doing anything at all that is going to have a negative impact on myself or anyone around me? If I know it and do it anyway, that makes my behaviour bad, but what does it say about me as a person?
It doesn't say a great deal, but it implies and suggests that I can change my behaviour. That doesn't make a better person though. It might make me a happier person, and it more than likely would. But it doesn't make me a better person.
I was watching Episode 3 again today. (Star Wars.) Palpatine proclaims his empire and vows to bring peace to the first galactic empire and the senate cheers. Padme says quietly "So this is how democracy ends - with cheering." It struck me as being eerily similar to the American situation where the Bush administration is imposing its ideals of good and evil on everyone else in the world. They think they're doing it for all the right reasons. But they're wrong. You can't impose freedom on anyone. That's just another form of tyranny. The only freedom is freedom of choice - and that includes the freedom to reject an overabundance of choice - which is what corporations like Coca Cola and Nike are doing their best to overcome.
What has this to do with humanity as a species?
Plenty. When I make a note of what music is currently playing when I finish writing one of these entries, it's not just because that's what I'm playing. It's because I would like someone else to notice that and express their approval. Call it a bit of minor tyranny in itself, but I would like everyone to experience the same foot-stomping joy I get when I listen to those songs. Is that a bad thing?
In a word, yes it is. Just because something makes me happy or brings me joy, doesn't mean it will do the same for everyone and I have no earthly right to expect anything different. When I ask anyone reading this to share their favorite bits of music, it's because I want to see if I can experience the same joy as them. It's one thing to ask, it's just not acceptable to impose.
It's all this expectation on us to wear the right things, say the right things, feel the right things and do what pleases others that leads to massive unhappiness. I don't want to wear what everyone else is wearing - so I don't. Neither do I want everyone to wear what I'm wearing - that would annoy me no end.
Where am I going with this?
Am I ever glad I asked that very question on behalf of all of you. :)
There are a few Backstreet Boys songs I like. Not many, just a few. Apparently, according to some ethereal standard set by nobody in particular, I'm neither supposed nor allowed to like ANY Backstreet Boys music. It's considered as gayness.
Pardon me? What?
I like upbeat songs - it's as simple as that. I don't like depressing or angry songs. And I choose to listen to them because I like them and I don't care if anyone has a problem with that. That's their problem, not mine. I don't have a problem listening to what I like.
More to the point though, big fucking deal if it is gayness. Get over it and get a life and quit trying to impose your values onto me. I'm not into it but I'm sure as hell not going to suggest for an instant that being gay is less worthy than being straight. People get really upset when I tell them I don't chase women either. Sure there are some stunningly beautiful ones, but I'm content to look at them the same way I listen to my music. I get just as much enjoyment out of my sensual pleasures as others get out of their physical and sexual pleasures. It pisses a lot of people off, but strange as it may seem, I'm very happy being the way I am and I have no intention of changing that. I'm not hurting anyone by keeping myself to myself and if anyone is hurt by that, it's not by my doing - because I don't do anything.
I just wouldn't make a very successful gorilla. But then, being a gorilla, that wouldn't worry me either.
What about trying to help others who are feeling down?
I might be completely wrong about this, and if I am, that's ok too - I can always change what I believe if I get more information - but the best thing I think I can do is give someone who is down the opportunity to give of themselves. Sure I can give advice - if someone asks for it, but it's a dodgy business just dishing it out and platitudes make me sick. I get annoyed when people tell me what a good person I am as if I didn't already know that. I have my ratbag side, but it's only the really negative things that make me get aggressive. Things like bigotry, ignorance and injustice.
Injustice is another concept loaded with subjectivity - to some.
Not to me.
Actually, it's pretty simple. Don't make victims of others. Be honest. Don't allow others to make a victim of themselves and blame you for it either. And don't accept dishonesty from anyone. Life may not seem fair, but fairness doesn't have an awful lot to do with justice. It might not seem fair that everyone else has a girlfriend and I don't. But what's the alternative? Imposing upon some girl to make her be my girlfriend just because I happen to think she should be? Is that fair on her. I don't think so. It might not seem fair that I gave so much to my little brother and he gave me nothing in return. That was entirely my choice to do so and I wouldn't have had it any other way. He owed me nothing.
If it comes back to that idea of giving and taking, Christopher loved me and allowed me the honor to love him in return. It's being able to love him still that I miss most about him. It would have been a tragedy of Shakespearian proportion if he didn't want what I most wanted to give him, which was all the love I could.
Now, on that basis, I know what the lovelorn suffer. Not being able to show your love to someone you just happen to love a great deal is just about the worst kind of hurt I can think of. Needless to say, it's impossible for me to show my love for my little brother now that he's dead, so it just remains for me to move on and give that expression a voice somewhere else. I do it with my writing. My hope is that someone somewhere gets something out of it. If Christopher hadn't died, but just took himself off and wanted nothing to do with me any more, for whatever reason - stated or otherwise - it still remains that my only course of action is to turn my attention somewhere else. Focus on other things I enjoy or things I want to achieve.
For when it all boils down to it, whether we have someone to love or we don't, everything in the whole world is utterly pointless if we don't choose to love ourselves for who we are. The wrong color hair, the wrong taste in music, the wrong clothes, the wrong likes and dislikes etc etc etc. All those things are ours. I have the wrong hair style - but it's how I want it to be. When it's not, I get it cut. I wear all the wrong clothes, but I like them and I'm comfortable wearing them. I have the wrong taste in music, but I like my music and nobody is going to take that away from me. I like playing Starcraft for half a day at a time, nobody is going to take that away from me. Only I can choose to continue liking Starcraft or not liking it anymore. The point is, with all my socially unacceptable habits and tastes, I'm perfectly happy being who I am and I enjoy doing what I do. If it were any different, I'd change what I do and be a different sort of person. It's as simple as making the effort required to change. Yes, it's that simple.
Love to those who need it - Paul.