A lot has changed... in the past ten years...
So, ten years seems like a long time. But at the same time, it doesn't. Looking back ten years ago compared to now, my life has changed. Basically this is a rant...
Ten Years ago...
Ten years ago it was 1997. I was in the 7th grade. Back then the Spice Girls were just entering the charts, or at least, I realized them. I fell in love with Geri... I also fell in love with someone else. Jenny was my first girlfriend. The first relationship I had was with her and I thought it was love. I guess when you're that young you tend to think it was love. I chased after her and hoped she'd date me for almost over a year before we went out. I remember at the homecoming game when I asked her out. I asked her and she said yes. Ted and Cassidy also started dating at the same time. Our relationship lasted 7 months before it ended. It was nice having someone there at that age. This may sound stupid, but I took care of her gigapet. It was a monkey. I don't remember if we named it or not... but I remember taking care of it during school and such. I remember getting her a box set of like 50 earings and a mug filled with candy and a candy rose for Valentines day. I still have her mug she gave me at Valentines day. I sorta miss the girls I used to hang out with back then. School was great....well, unless it was math class in 8th grade. Anywho, back to Jenny... in May of 98 the relationship ended. So did the Spice Girls.
Now....
But not life has moved on... Jenny is now married I think. Pry starting a family. The Spice Girls are now back together... but who knows how long this is going to last. My dreams have come true and I was so happy that day I got the news. I wish I was happy like that all the time. I feel blah most of the time. I have to accept the fact that life ten years ago will never return to me. I had great friends. I miss them. More recently my friends from college have changed. I don't see them and I feel left out. But I guess because they changed that's why I haven't been around them. I made the choice to exclude myself. I just didn't feel like I belonged anymore. Either they were too busy or they wanted me to do something when I was busy or had to do something else. It seemed like they didn't understand or that they didn't care. I would hope they do care and still want to be my friend. I feel like my college days are winding down and dying. I just want to graduate and get the hell out of here so I can start teaching and make real money for a change. After college, will I ever have friends like I did ten years ago? I was surrounded by friends and now it seems like I'm alone... of course there's always Fred and Joe.. and I'm glad they are here... but because we're adults and work or are busy with other responsibilities there's no time for fun it seems. Last night Fred and I went to see the new Harry Potter movie with Reggie and her roommate. It was nice to do something and not be stuck here at the apartment. If it weren't for those two (and Fergie the pup) I'd go crazy. Anyone that knows me, knows I absolutely live in the past. I love the past and even just talking about it makes me happy. With no one here to talk about the past, all I have is the future and right now to make new memories. I also miss home. I miss being at home seeing friends (mainly and probably only Julie). I miss walking and talking to her. Now that she has a job and graduated she may move on to some other city or something and leave me. (That sounds narsasistic of me, it's not meant to.) I can only hope that life will bring other friends around and be close like I was with the "pre-college" time and even the college friends I had. I am anxious for the future, yet, scared of it as well. I can only wait and see what's going to happen later. Maybe something exciting will happen and be able to talk about this year ten years from now... my god, I'll be 32! How sad.. it sucks getting old!
"Who knows what tomorrow may bring"-Geri
M E
Ten Years ago...
Ten years ago it was 1997. I was in the 7th grade. Back then the Spice Girls were just entering the charts, or at least, I realized them. I fell in love with Geri... I also fell in love with someone else. Jenny was my first girlfriend. The first relationship I had was with her and I thought it was love. I guess when you're that young you tend to think it was love. I chased after her and hoped she'd date me for almost over a year before we went out. I remember at the homecoming game when I asked her out. I asked her and she said yes. Ted and Cassidy also started dating at the same time. Our relationship lasted 7 months before it ended. It was nice having someone there at that age. This may sound stupid, but I took care of her gigapet. It was a monkey. I don't remember if we named it or not... but I remember taking care of it during school and such. I remember getting her a box set of like 50 earings and a mug filled with candy and a candy rose for Valentines day. I still have her mug she gave me at Valentines day. I sorta miss the girls I used to hang out with back then. School was great....well, unless it was math class in 8th grade. Anywho, back to Jenny... in May of 98 the relationship ended. So did the Spice Girls.
Now....
But not life has moved on... Jenny is now married I think. Pry starting a family. The Spice Girls are now back together... but who knows how long this is going to last. My dreams have come true and I was so happy that day I got the news. I wish I was happy like that all the time. I feel blah most of the time. I have to accept the fact that life ten years ago will never return to me. I had great friends. I miss them. More recently my friends from college have changed. I don't see them and I feel left out. But I guess because they changed that's why I haven't been around them. I made the choice to exclude myself. I just didn't feel like I belonged anymore. Either they were too busy or they wanted me to do something when I was busy or had to do something else. It seemed like they didn't understand or that they didn't care. I would hope they do care and still want to be my friend. I feel like my college days are winding down and dying. I just want to graduate and get the hell out of here so I can start teaching and make real money for a change. After college, will I ever have friends like I did ten years ago? I was surrounded by friends and now it seems like I'm alone... of course there's always Fred and Joe.. and I'm glad they are here... but because we're adults and work or are busy with other responsibilities there's no time for fun it seems. Last night Fred and I went to see the new Harry Potter movie with Reggie and her roommate. It was nice to do something and not be stuck here at the apartment. If it weren't for those two (and Fergie the pup) I'd go crazy. Anyone that knows me, knows I absolutely live in the past. I love the past and even just talking about it makes me happy. With no one here to talk about the past, all I have is the future and right now to make new memories. I also miss home. I miss being at home seeing friends (mainly and probably only Julie). I miss walking and talking to her. Now that she has a job and graduated she may move on to some other city or something and leave me. (That sounds narsasistic of me, it's not meant to.) I can only hope that life will bring other friends around and be close like I was with the "pre-college" time and even the college friends I had. I am anxious for the future, yet, scared of it as well. I can only wait and see what's going to happen later. Maybe something exciting will happen and be able to talk about this year ten years from now... my god, I'll be 32! How sad.. it sucks getting old!
"Who knows what tomorrow may bring"-Geri
M E