The spiral of what I want to do, need to do, aught to do, and can do...
Yeah... I know.
Here I am, once more. Sitting here in my state of flux. I am one degree from there (points to map showing happiness next to a star.)
Once I had a nightmare. In this nightmare, I was in a large white room so large you couldn't see the walls. There was this large machine that made toothpicks... yes, toothpicks. It made two toothpicks per minute. The toothpicks fell out of a chute on the side of the machine, and landed in a small tray. My job was to pick up ONE toothpick, and carry it, oh... I don't know, fifty feet, and place it in a toothpick box. The trip from the machine to the box took one minute, roundtrip. In the time that it took me to take one toothpick to the box, the machine had made two, and placed them in the tray. There was then three. I took one to the box, and returned to find four. I took another to the box, and returned to find five. Do you see where I am going with this? Soon there was a giant pile of toothpicks and I woke up screaming...
Ok, that is where my life is right now. The more I take care of, the more there is. When I get one problem squared away, there are two to replace it. My life is, in a very odd and hard to explain way, getting better. Small things are happening to make me happy. Then, on the other hand, and there is always the other hand... that damn hand. On the other hand, I am finding things in my life to get less and less tolerable.
I guess I am coming to a crossroad. I will have to decide which way to go. At this point, I know what I need to do. The "need to do" things have always been there, just in the distance. Now the distance is getting shorter. The "aught to do", which is slightly different than the "need to do", is what makes me sad, and is the hardest to deal with. It's all the responsibility in the mundane world. The "can do" is a very small set at the moment. The "want to do" is what makes it all worth it, provides incentive, and gives me something too look forward to.
Ok, let's see... hmm, that's it...
Here I am, once more. Sitting here in my state of flux. I am one degree from there (points to map showing happiness next to a star.)
Once I had a nightmare. In this nightmare, I was in a large white room so large you couldn't see the walls. There was this large machine that made toothpicks... yes, toothpicks. It made two toothpicks per minute. The toothpicks fell out of a chute on the side of the machine, and landed in a small tray. My job was to pick up ONE toothpick, and carry it, oh... I don't know, fifty feet, and place it in a toothpick box. The trip from the machine to the box took one minute, roundtrip. In the time that it took me to take one toothpick to the box, the machine had made two, and placed them in the tray. There was then three. I took one to the box, and returned to find four. I took another to the box, and returned to find five. Do you see where I am going with this? Soon there was a giant pile of toothpicks and I woke up screaming...
Ok, that is where my life is right now. The more I take care of, the more there is. When I get one problem squared away, there are two to replace it. My life is, in a very odd and hard to explain way, getting better. Small things are happening to make me happy. Then, on the other hand, and there is always the other hand... that damn hand. On the other hand, I am finding things in my life to get less and less tolerable.
I guess I am coming to a crossroad. I will have to decide which way to go. At this point, I know what I need to do. The "need to do" things have always been there, just in the distance. Now the distance is getting shorter. The "aught to do", which is slightly different than the "need to do", is what makes me sad, and is the hardest to deal with. It's all the responsibility in the mundane world. The "can do" is a very small set at the moment. The "want to do" is what makes it all worth it, provides incentive, and gives me something too look forward to.
Ok, let's see... hmm, that's it...