Fic: BigBang 2011 - The Works Of His Hands Are Faithful And Just (2/7+Epilogue)
_13th October_ (12 weeks)
After the initial shock upon finding out about Jensen’s pregnancy Jared had started to relax little by little, assured by the fact that Jensen had passed all medical exams with flying colors and kept telling him he was alright. Nonetheless, he still got nervous whenever Jensen said he was tired or mentioned so much as a headache to him but he was trying to wind down a bit for his lover’s sake.
“Remind me to talk to Steve about those vitamins he prescribed me,” Jensen groaned, rubbing at his bare, ever so slightly rounded stomach as he crawled into bed next to Jared. “The morning sickness is almost gone and I’m clearly putting on weight so I really don’t see the point in taking them any longer.”
“But Steve said it wouldn’t hurt to take the prenatal vitamins, Jen,” Jared pointed out, once more worrying about Jensen’s health.
Jensen sighed audibly. “But that’s exactly the problem. I felt mostly fine before I started taking them and now I feel bloated and gassy all the time and I’m not even twelve weeks along.” He saw deep frown lines appear on Jared’s forehead and tried to assure him. “I eat healthy food and Steve said that my first blood test results were great already. The results from last week and the ultrasound showed that everything is just fine so I really don’t understand why I should take any pills at all. I want what’s best for our baby but I seriously think that those vitamins are doing more harm than good.”
Jared’s mouth was stretched into a thin line, but after a few seconds he nodded in agreement. “Alright, we’ll ask Steve if it’s okay for you to stop taking the vitamins.” He rolled onto his side, facing Jensen with genuinely concerned eyes, and gently laid one hand on top of his vaguely rounded stomach. The difference was barely visible but Jared knew Jensen’s body well enough to see the slowly fading outline of his abs and the very slight roundness forming. “I’m sorry that you’re uncomfortable, Babe. Let me try to make it better.” He pressed a loving kiss to Jensen’s mouth and started rubbing soothing circles into the warm flesh of his small bump.
“Feels nice,” Jensen admitted and closed his eyes, relaxing under Jared’s touch. He had never been vain and he knew that he would put on a lot more weight in the next six and a half months but he felt a bit self-conscious since he had noticed the first changes in his body. “I can’t believe that I really put on three pounds in only one month…” He opened his eyes again as he felt Jared gently cupping the subtle swell of his midsection.
“That means the baby is healthy and growing,” Jared said fondly before a faraway look clouded his gaze.
Noticing how Jared’s mind had drifted off, Jensen lifted one hand and cupped his cheek. “Try not to worry so much, Jay. Our baby’s fine and everything will be okay.”
Jared slowly turned his gaze back to Jensen, locking eyes with him for a few beats before finding his voice again. “What about you?”
“I’m okay. Just a little constipated and cranky,” Jensen replied, smiling reassuringly as he brushed his thumb over Jared’s cheekbone. “And maybe a little insecure about my new looks,” he added, a light flush coloring his cheeks.
“Babe…” Jared started saying, his voice warm and full of love.
Jensen chuckled, the blush still in place. “I know it’s ridiculous because it’s only three pounds and I will probably gain another thirty by April. I’m just used to keeping in shape and I really miss working out or going for a run first thing in the morning. Maybe we can talk to Steve about that, too. The books he gave us say that exercise is actually good as long as I don’t overdo it and stop if I feel tired or uncomfortable.”
“Now you’re the one who is worrying too much, Jen,” Jared pointed out calmly. He drew in a deep breath and once more locked eyes with deep green ones. “I know how you feel. I freaked out when I started… showing… worried about covering it up as best as I could so no one would notice and look what that got me.” He lowered his gaze, trying to hold back the tears burning behind his eyes.
“Jared, what happened to David wasn’t your fault. There was nothing you could’ve done to prevent it, Love.” Jensen didn’t even try to keep his emotions in check, simply letting the first tears roll down his face. This was the reason why he had been so nervous when he had found out he was pregnant. He had instinctively known that Jared would struggle to feel happy about the news because the grief of losing David would overshadow everything at first.
Jared shook his head desolately, not looking up. “I should have noticed earlier and… and I should have tried to get help. The… the clinic is only two blocks away from my… my old corner but I never… thought of going there to get checked out and get… get those damn vitamins and…” The younger man was sobbing openly by now.
“I know how much it still hurts and how unfair it feels but I know that there is a reason behind everything even when we can’t understand it right away,” Jensen attempted to explain. “I don’t remember my parents but I remember how I kept asking Father Jeff why they had died in that car accident if I had survived. He always told me that God had a plan for each one of us and that one day I would understand why I had to loose my parents.”
Jensen’s voice was barely more than a whisper as he spoke, losing himself in his childhood memories. He had been only a couple of weeks old when they had been involved in a car accident. It had been a frontal crash and he had been tightly strapped into his car seat, so nothing had happened to him while the front of their car had been smashed. “It took me over twenty years to realize he was right. If I hadn’t lost my parents, I would never have become a priest. I probably wouldn’t have moved into the city and I wouldn’t have met you.”
He could feel Jared’s stuttering breaths puffing against his chest and lovingly carded his fingers through the younger man’s silky, brown hair. “I know you’ve been through more than most people can even imagine, Jay, but you lived through all of those bad things and one day you’ll suddenly understand what’s His plan for you. You’re a good person, Jared. You’re compassionate, generous and you help people. You deserve happiness and He knows that. Sometimes He just wants to try your patience before He repays you for all the good you did.”
“He already did,” Jared whispered after listening intently to Jensen’s monologue that sounded suspiciously like a small sermon, reminding him of Jensen’s past. His sobs had died down considerably and his breathing was almost back to normal after his breakdown. Jared’s gaze was still lowered but his hand started rubbing at Jensen’s small baby bump once again.
The deeper meaning behind Jared’s words made Jensen smile blissfully. He had never doubted that Jared loved him but he was aware of how young his lover was and that he might still need time to explore his personality and set his priorities in life. Nonetheless they had decided to give their relationship a chance. With the baby on the way the foundation for their mutual ‘no strings attached’ agreement had changed radically, so hearing that Jared indeed saw their baby as a blessing rather than a burden, made Jensen’s heart swell with love and pride.
“You know… I’ve never been religious and I just went to church with you because it means so much to you but… I’ve started listening more closely to what the preacher says lately and…” Jared finally lifted his head to look straight at Jensen. “If God’s as gracious as he says then he will protect you and the baby.”
“He’ll protect the three of us, you, me and our baby,” the former priest corrected softly and pulled Jared up for a kiss.
A shaky smile formed on Jared’s tear-streaked face and he nodded. Jensen sounded so confident that he really couldn’t disagree with him. He saw Jensen grimace as he tried to suppress a yawn and actually chuckled at how adorable the older man looked. “Let’s try and get some sleep.”
“Are you alright?” Jensen had to ask or he wouldn’t get any sleep at all that night.
“I’m okay, just a bit nervous but that’s all,” Jared answered truthfully. “Turn around, Jen,” he then urged and gently rolled Jensen onto his side so he could spoon him, one arm curled around his waist to rest his hand on the firm little bump that was visible proof of their baby.
“You’re beautiful,” were the last mumbled words Jensen heard before he felt Jared relax as he succumbed to sleep. Smiling happily to himself, he leaned into his lover’s solid chest and followed him.
_14th October_ (12 weeks)
“What’s on that sandwich?” Jared asked a perplexed Chris as he approached the desk unwrapping his lunch.
“Hello, to you, too,” the older man replied, only partially faking annoyance before taking a big bite and answering the question with a full mouth. “Tuna and I’m not sharing it.”
Jared shook his head. “You don’t have to. Just eat it somewhere else. The smell still makes Jen nauseous, so…” he gestured across the hall towards the doctors’ lounge.
“You’re lucky that I love you guys or I would be seriously pissed about your bossy tone,” Chris grumbled but didn’t argue. “Where is your man, by the way?” He realized that Jensen was nowhere to be seen.
“Bathroom.”
“I thought he was doing better. Steve told me he wanted to stop taking the prenatal vitamins because the morning sickness was gone and he doesn’t feel well when he takes the pills.” Now Chris looked curious and mildly worried.
“Yeah, he’s been doing a lot better and the pills only made him constipated, so we talked to Steve this morning. There’re still some smells that set off the nausea, though, and tuna’s one of them,” Jared clarified for Chris.
“Alright, I got the hint, Big Guy,” Chris replied, holding up his hands as if in surrender as he walked a few steps backwards into the general direction of the doctors’ lounge. “I’ll eat my lunch far away from you and I won’t come back to bother you before I’ve brushed my teeth,” he added with a mischievous grin.
Jared looked bewildered but smiled back. “Thanks, Chris.”
“Anything for my friends, right?” the paramedic shot back as Jensen came back from his bathroom break. “Hey, Jen. Your man just told me to stay away from you until I’ve finished eating my tasty tuna sub.” He licked his lips before taking a huge bite out of the sandwich in demonstration.
“Chris!” Jared cried out with a threatening glare, quickly turning around to check if Jensen was all right.
“I’m fine, Jay,” the older man immediately assured, reading the unspoken question on Jared’s face. “Chris is just… Well, being Chris.”
The paramedic had already disappeared through the door across the room but Jared was still glaring daggers in that direction.
“Did you really tell him to leave?” Jensen asked, somewhat amused by the mental image forming in his head as he tried to picture the conversation that must have taken place while he had been in the bathroom.
Jared finally relaxed when Jensen plopped down on the chair next to him and gently caressed his cheek to catch his attention. “We’re supposed to use the doctor’s lounge for our lunch break and not eat in front of the waiting patients,” he stated stubbornly even though the waiting room was completely deserted in that moment. “And he knows that some smells still make you nauseous. I swear he keeps buying those damn tuna subs just to be annoying.”
“Oh, Jay,” Jensen sighed. “He doesn’t mean any harm. I’ve known Chris for almost twenty years now and I’m used to his unique sense of humor. He’s just joking around.”
“Yeah, I know. I just… I want to make sure you’re okay,” the younger man admitted self-consciously, looking at Jensen through his unruly bangs.
A fond smile formed on Jensen’s lips and he leaned forward to steal a kiss from Jared because he looked too adorable to resist. “I am okay. I promise you that I’m fine and so is the little one.” He grabbed Jared’s hand and gently pressed it against his bump to emphasize his words. It was still too early to feel the baby moving and even if Jensen might already have felt a flutter once or twice he was sure that Jared wouldn’t be able to pick anything up for another few weeks.
The shy but genuine smile that crept onto Jared’s face told him that he had still gotten the message across anyway.
_24th November_ (18 weeks)
“What are you doing, Jen?” Jared asked as he woke up a few weeks later and saw Jensen slipping into his running shorts and one of his washed out t-shirts before going back to rummage through one of their drawers.
Jensen turned around and flashed him an eager smile.
“What does it look like? I’m getting ready for my Saturday morning run,” he answered lightly, throwing a pair of shorts onto Jared’s chest. “Put those on and join me.”
Rolling over to squint at the alarm clock, Jared groaned. “It’s barely 6am and we have the day off.”
“I woke up early because I had to pee,” Jensen explained, sitting down on a chair and awkwardly bending down to tie his shoelaces. He was almost eighteen weeks along and had already put on nine pounds since they had found out he was pregnant and every ounce of the added weight seemed to go straight to his ever-growing bump.
“Okay…” Jared threw the covers back and climbed out of bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes wearily. “Do you really think that running is such a great idea? I know that Steve said it was okay as long as you didn’t overdo it but don’t you think that you might try to find another way to exercise? What if you trip and hurt yourself or the baby, Jen?”
The former priest smiled good-naturedly. He had a sixth sense when Jared was trying to talk about something but didn’t really know how to start the conversation.
“Come on spill, Jay. You have that face that says that you’ve done your homework and already have a suggestion for me. So what new way to exercise have you found?”
Jared actually blushed slightly but didn’t need any more prompting. “Yeah, I did some research and I’ve ordered a book online.”
“About what?” Jensen was curious now.
“Yoga during pregnancy,” Jared answered, sounding a bit nervous. “I thought we could give it a try and see how you like it…” He slowly approached his lover and knelt down in front of him, reaching for his shoelaces to tie them. “There are a few exercises we can do together and the book explains how the exercises are good for you and for the baby.”
It was obvious that Jared had put a lot of thought into his suggestion and had probably already read the book cover to cover before even bringing the idea up in the first place, so Jensen could only agree to try it out.
“Let’s give it a go then and see if it is as rewarding as running.”
Jensen wasn’t all that convinced that yoga was a good alternative to any kind of sports but he would gladly bend and twist himself into weird positions and meditate for the rest of the pregnancy if that put such a huge smile on Jared’s face.
“I’ll get the yoga mats and set up the DVD player, just give me a second.” Jared was already halfway down the hall before he finished the sentence, making Jensen chuckle at his sudden eagerness.
“Yeah, you’ve ordered a book online,” he said to himself, shaking his head in amusement as he followed Jared into their small living room.
Surprisingly, yoga wasn’t half as boring as he had expected it to be and having Jared almost constantly touching him actually made up for the boring parts. At the end of the first half an hour long session, Jensen was completely relaxed and really hungry which was a weird combination.
“So, what do you think?” Jared asked expectantly after rolling up the mats and stuffing the huge yoga ball back into their closet where he had somehow managed to hide it from Jensen since buying it.
“Let’s talk about it while making breakfast because I’m starving,” Jensen shot back playfully, strolling into the kitchen and grabbing the fruit bowl to start making a small fruit salad while Jared got started on the oatmeal as usual. This was one of his favorite parts of the day when they didn’t have to work and could simply enjoy the perfect domestic bliss they had.
All of a sudden, Jensen hissed in surprise and let the knife he had been using clatter onto the kitchen counter.
“Jensen, what happened?” Jared demanded, turning off the stove to check on his lover.
“Give me your hand,” Jensen ordered excitedly and grabbed Jared’s wrist to guide his hand to his rounded belly. He awkwardly tugged his t-shirt up with his free hand and pressed Jared’s palm to the spot on his baby bump where he had felt something.
For a few seconds Jared just stared at him questioningly, not understanding what was going on, but then he felt it, too. It was just a small thump but it was the first time he had felt their baby moving and Jared’s eyes widened in amazement.
“Oh my God, was that a kick?” he asked in disbelief and got his answer in form of the huge, happy smile that Jensen flashed him.
“Guess the baby liked all that yoga stuff and the way you felt me up while you made me bend and do breathing exercises,” he said cheerfully. “Let’s take the food and have breakfast in bed so we can get out of these clothes and snuggle under the covers.”
Jared readily agreed to the plan and quickly put the oatmeal into two small bowls, which he set on a tray together with the fruit bowl and two large glasses of milk.
A few minutes later, Jensen was sitting between Jared’s spread legs and leaning against his lover’s bare chest while they slowly ate breakfast together. Jared’s palm never left his belly, rubbing circles into his skin and gently patting the smooth mound whenever he felt their baby kick. It was perfect and suddenly Jensen was glad that Jared had talked him out of running because lying in bed with Jared and cuddling was so much better than running through their neighborhood and getting sweaty and hot.
Chapter 3