Fic: BigBang 2010 - The Lord Moves In Mysterious Ways (2/7+Epilogue)
Title: The Lord Moves In Mysterious Ways
Author: mpregloveranon
Betas: munibunny & sexytexanjra
Artist: vamptastica
Pairing: Jensen/Jared, (Steve/Chris as minor characters)
Raiting: NC-17
Warnings: AU, Mpreg, mentions of abuse and prostitution, character death (none of the boys! - SPOILERS: miscarriage and viewing of the deceased child as well as emotional aftermath of the loss), H/C, angst, some swearing
Disclaimer: I just own a kinky imagination. Every event in this story is purely fictional and I don’t intend to step on anyone’s toes or make money with this.
Summary: Jensen is a young priest who has a special place in his heart for street kids. One day he finds Jared, a teenaged hooker, wandering the streets in some state of shock, and decides to help him. Jensen takes Jared in and finds out the kid is pregnant, which only increases his determination to help the troubled teen. A tragic event only brings them closer to each other and Jensen is forced to make a decision: Love or Faith.
Special thanks:
@ sexytexanjra: Thank you so much for all your help and support! You know that I wouldn’t be posting this if it wasn’t for you and I can’t thank you enough for that. You managed to bring back my excitement for the whole BigBang experience and I’m so happy for all the suggestions you’ve made and that you’ve listened to me rant about everything and nothing for the past few months. :D I’m so glad that we’ve become friend and that I have found someone with such similar tastes when it comes to fanfic. ;)
@munibunny: I’m so happy that Ange pointed me in your direction and that you accepted to beta my first BigBang fic! You helped me so much with the grammar stuff and all your plot-related suggestions. :D Thank you so much for that!
@vamptastica: I love the artpost you’ve put together for my fic! When I first saw that you had picked my fic to do the art for it I went to check out your work and was really excited but you’ve definitely exceeded my expectations! Thank you for all the goodies you’ve made and that you went through the trouble of finding the right pictures to make priest!Jensen manips for the fic. :D The pics really captured the mood of the fic.
@everyone else: This is my very first BigBang fic and I really hope that you enjoy the read. Please let me know what you think about it. Suggestions and constructive criticism are also welcome but please don't flame. ;)
Previous Chapter: 1
~o~ Chapter 2 ~o~
One and a half hours later, Jensen came back into his apartment and felt his heart rate increase at the complete silence, which could mean two things. Either the kid was asleep or he had fled the moment that Jensen had turned his back. He hoped that the first option was the reason behind the silence and tiptoed into his bedroom, not wanting to wake the boy if he was still there.
During the long talk with the Bakers about the Baptism of their first child, his mind had constantly been wandering back to the frail teenager in his bed.
Deep heartfelt relief flooded him when his eyes finally set on the tranquil form huddled underneath the woolen blanket. Sending a short prayer heavenwards, he tried to believe that this was a sign that he might have an actual chance at helping one of the kids he cared so much about. He still didn’t know the teen’s name but he was thankful for small successes.
Leaning against the doorframe, he contemplated the youngster’s face, which was illuminated by a few stray rays of sunshine that were breaking through the clouds. High cheekbones and artfully swung eyebrows clearly showed great potential for beauty on the gaunt face. If the hollowed cheeks filled out a little bit and the dark circles under the slightly almond-shaped eyes vanished, the boy would certainly be handsome.
Jensen shook his head to clear the strange thoughts from his mind and decided to hold his promise and fix something light to eat for both of them.
A quick peak into his fridge and cupboards told him that cooked chicken and rice would be a good choice. He put a pot filled with water on the stove and started chopping some vegetables into it before adding the chicken while the rice cooked in a separate pot.
By the time he was cleaning away the kitchen utensils he didn’t need anymore, he heard soft moaning coming from the bedroom. The nearer he came to the source of the noise, the more it sounded like the boy was having a nightmare rather than being in pain. Jensen made his way to take up his chair right next to the bed. The kid was lying on his side and moaning lowly but keeping very still. Wet trails down his face were the proof of unconscious tears he had shed in his sleep.
“Shhh… It’s okay, Daniel. You’re safe here. I won’t let anyone hurt you,” he whispered and patted the young man’s head softly.
Once more Jared woke to kind touches and a general feeling of warmth and safety. He would most likely have faked sleep for a while just to enjoy the situation as long as possible but there had been that name again. Slowly blinking his still heavy eyelids open, he fixed his gaze on the priest. “That’s not my name,” he replied, his voice still scratchy from sleep.
The pastor looked unfazed by the statement but pulled his hand away. “Do you want to tell me your name?”
Jared didn’t break eye contact but faltered nonetheless. He hadn’t been called by his name in years and it somehow didn’t sit well with him to reveal it to a stranger.
“I have to call you something…” It sounded like an apology of sorts. “Daniel was a young man who turned to the Lord in his most troubled moments and was saved. The name means ‘God is my judge’ in Hebrew.”
The teen only shrugged. He had been called much worse things.
“You can call me Jensen if you want… because Father Ackles sounds so old and formal.” The man of God was squirming a little in his seat as if he was nervous. “I’m cooking some chicken and rice if you’re interested in trying something more appetizing than dry toast. It should be ready in a few minutes…” After waiting for a reaction he went on. “How did you sleep?”
“Good.” He could give the man at least that much information in exchange for all the effort he was making.
The pastor was struggling to keep the small talk up. “Glad to hear that. Sleep always helps me when I’m not feeling well.”
At times, Jared was convinced that the link between his mouth and brain was missing but he just couldn’t help it. “I’m not ‘not feeling well’, I’m fucking pregnant!” he pointed out a lot harsher than he had intended.
Father Ackles’ face became serious. “I know.” He carded his fingers through his short honey colored hair pensively. “I’m just trying to help, you know…”
Jared gave him a weak nod, not exactly proud of his own behavior.
“I guess you don’t want to talk about that with me?”
He wasn’t sure if it was meant as a real question or a rhetorical one. “Not much to say…”
The priest shook his head. “There has to be something that is troubling you.”
“Of course I’m troubled! I let people fuck me for money.” The small talk seemed to be turning into a quite ugly heart-to-heart that Jared wasn’t the least bit interested in having. “Some sick fuck knocked me up and now I have to find a way to…”
A warm hand settled on his wrist. “Everybody deserves a second chance in life.”
He was about to ask what that cryptic message was supposed to mean when the pastor started speaking again.
“I’ll get us some food and then we can talk some more if you want.” Without waiting for a reply, the man lifted from his chair and left the room once more.
The boy had been very reluctant when it came to talking about himself but he had at least trusted Jensen enough to eat a little bit of the food he had cooked for them. Apparently, the tea had helped to settle his stomach and he had been able to keep the actual meal down as well.
Rest and food had brought some color back to the teenager’s face, but halfway through the meal, he had started coughing which alarmed the young priest. Maybe the kid had really managed to catch a cold while he had been wandering around in the nasty weather. Jensen had offered to get him some medicine from the nearby pharmacy but Daniel, as he kept calling him, had refused the offer, declaring that he was fine, so Jensen had puttered around his small home while the kid had taken another nap because eating had somehow cost him a lot of energy and made him tired.
At five in the afternoon, the pastor had been forced to go back to work and only returned two hours later after confession had ended. Again, he had tried to convince the kid to take some medicine but to no avail. Still trying to persuade the boy into staying a while longer, Jensen had brought the small TV set into the bedroom and they had watched a program about wild animals, which the kid had chosen, before settling for sleep again.
Jensen had gotten a spare blanket and pillow and made himself comfortable on his sofa, leaving the bed to his protégé. The sofa wasn’t too shabby but he barely slept because of the recurring coughing fits coming from the bedroom.
Around four in the morning, he finally lost his patience and confronted the kid one more time.
“I won’t question any of your decisions... It’s not my place to judge you but, please, let me take you to a doctor.” He fixed his gaze on red-rimmed, hazel eyes, hoping that he wasn’t pushing too hard. “A good friend of mine is a doctor and he can take a look at you. Just a quick check-up, and he can give you something for the coughing.” The young priest was aware that he sounded excessively worried but he didn’t care.
“I can’t go to a doctor.” The statement held no anger at all.
“You don’t have to pay anything… and my friend won’t say a word to anyone if that is what’s bothering you.” He was pretty sure that the kid was still underage and probably afraid to draw attention. Going to a hospital would most certainly result on someone calling the cops on him as soon as they figured out he was a runaway. “I promise you that you’ll be safe!”
There was still doubt and fear written all over the young face but he nodded weakly before the next coughing fit wrecked through his frail body.
Acting on pure instinct, Jensen leaned forward and enveloped the teen into a tender embrace. “Let me help you, Daniel.”
The affectionate gesture felt too good for Jared to fight, even if he still thought that the kind treatment would soon end. No one cared that much for a worthless little whore like him. He’d been told often enough that he was nothing more than a cheap piece of ass, a sex toy, and no one would miss him if his dead body one day just turned up behind some dumpsters. Why should this man, this priest, be any different? Did he really believe that he could still save Jared’s soul? Why was he so eager to offer his help?
Maybe it was because of his screwed up hormones, but he could feel fresh tears welling up in his eyes once again. This time he was determined not to spill them though. “Stop calling me that!” His voice sounded broken even to his own ears. “It’s Jared.”
The arms around him tightened their grip and he could feel warm puffs of breath on his neck. “Please, let me help you, Jared!”
Suddenly, the floodgates were opened and the teenager sobbed openly while clinging to his benefactor’s black shirt. He cried himself dry and kept sniffling until exhaustion took over once more. The strong, gentle arms didn’t let go of him before his breath evened out into a, hopefully, dreamless sleep.
The mentioned doctor friend, Steve, who in fact didn’t ask too many questions, seemed to be a nice guy just like Jensen had promised. He, and some other doctors and nurses, worked in a free clinic a few blocks away from the church and mostly treated homeless people and anybody else who didn’t have proper health insurance.
The blond, long-haired man had taken urine and blood samples, and checked his heart and lungs before giving him some meds against his Bronchitis. He had also wanted to check for STDs but was only able to convince Jared to let him do a quick HIV test. It might sound like a bad cliché, but the half hour wait for the results had been the longest 30 minutes in his life. He wasn’t stupid and certainly didn’t have a death wish, and therefore, had never let any of his Johns fuck him without protection, except for that one kinky pervert who had tricked him into bare backing. The pervert had paid him an obscene amount of money for some bondage. Jared wasn’t an idiot. He’d made sure he got half of it up front, but once the bastard had tied him to the four poster bed, he’d simply taken him while he was defenseless.
Jared could feel a big weight being lifted from his mind when the test came back negative, even if he would have to take another follow-up test in a few of months just to be sure he was clean. Both Jensen and Steve had tried to talk him into an ultrasound but he had had enough of being prodded and refused any more exams. The doc had suggested he come back on another day and he had nodded just to get the two men off his back.
A whole week passed before the subject came up again. Jared had spent most of the time either in bed or huddled into his blanket on the sofa, watching Jensen cooking them dinner or cleaning the apartment. He had just taken a bath, put on the new hoodie and sweatpants that Jensen had gotten him the day before and taken his usual place in the living room when the young priest sat down next to him, handing him a cup of hot chocolate.
“You look good today.” He smiled softly at the teen and drank from his own mug before speaking again. “I’m glad that you are still here. It’s nice to have some company.”
Not really knowing how he was supposed to reply to that, Jared just nodded and waited for the older man to continue.
“I know that it’s probably none of my business, but there are a few questions that have been on my mind for a while…”
Jared just knew that this had been coming because it was simply impossible that everything he had been given in the past ten days had been pure charity. He had been waiting for the questions to start since he had set foot in the small but homey apartment and he had decided right away that he would leave as soon as the question game began.
“This is not meant to be an interrogation,” Jensen, who as usual seemed to sense his discomfort, assured him. “Just let me take guesses and correct me if I’m wrong…”
That was a fair suggestion in exchange for food, shelter and medical care, so Jared agreed with a silent nod.
“You are a runaway and you mentioned that you have prostituted yourself...” Waiting for any possible objection he went on. “You are pregnant and I take it that it was an accident.”
With each right guess, Jared could feel his heart rate increase. He forced himself to stay calm but wasn’t all that surprised when the priest took one of his hands between his own warm palms.
“When we were at Steve’s clinic you refused to let him perform an ultrasound because you don’t know how to deal with your… condition.”
Taking a deep calming breath, Jared spoke up. “There’s not much to deal with. What am I supposed to do with a kid?” He was trying really hard to sound nonchalant but he felt more like crying with each word that came across his lips.
“A child is always a big challenge and you are still young but there are ways to make it work, you know, and if you can’t deal… The church has a couple of children’s homes around here…”
“I don’t want my kid to have a crappy life because I’m so screwed up.” Controlling his emotions was becoming even harder with every passing minute.
The priest shook his head. “You are not screwed up, Jared, and those homes are a good place.”
“You’re a priest. You’ve gotta say that,” the younger man retorted almost automatically.
The kind and understanding grin on the pastor’s face made the teenager feel warm inside. “I know what I’m talking about, Jared; I grew up in one of those homes.”
He could feel a blush of embarrassment forming on his cheeks. “I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry about. I’ve had a good life and I’m happy.” The smile was genuine.
“Even if I have the kid… and give it up for adoption…” Jared swallowed hard, the idea of giving the baby away to strangers just didn’t sit well with him. “I can’t go out there like this. No one would want to…” he broke off. ‘No one’ wasn’t correct, there were always kinky old men that might even get off on him being pregnant, but he shuddered just thinking about having to let those perverts fuck him against a wall or on the backseats of their cars. He might just be a whore but the mess with the bondage guy, which had gotten him into this fucked up situation in the first place, had taught him that there were places he just couldn’t go if he wanted to stay sane.
Jensen apparently understood what he was getting at. “I won’t throw you out. You are welcome as long as you want to stay here with me…”
The gleam in the green eyes was more than just compassion. It was the look Jared had seen in Billy Johnson’s chocolate brown eyes before he had kissed him for the first time. The teenager tried to push that thought into the back of his mind because that was a delusional idea with Jensen being a priest and all.
The soft voice went ahead. “I can also help you to find a job after you’ve had the child.”
As alluring as that offer sounded, Jared was still not convinced it would all be so ease. “What kind of job could I possibly get? I never finished high school and the only thing I’m good at is turning tricks. I can’t…”
The perceptive priest kept smiling encouragingly at him. “You don’t have to get out there and sell yourself to strangers, Jared. I know a few good people who would hire you. Mrs. Andrews owns a small diner right across the street and she’s always telling me that she’s getting old and will have to hire someone to wait the tables. I’m sure you could do that. Or maybe you’re handy with tools and could work a few hours in Mrs. Peterson’s garage… We’ll find you a decent job and if you want to qualify yourself for something else, you could get enrolled in school again. There are so many options if you just give it a chance.”
Jared still couldn’t believe that he really had that many options available but Jensen’s little speech had raised his spirits a little. “But how could I have a kid and work?” He suddenly remembered that he wouldn’t have to worry just about himself but also about his baby’s needs once it was born. If he gave the ‘apple pie life’ he had heard about a try, he needed to make sure that he wouldn’t neglect his baby amidst all his new aspirations.
“I know quite a few old ladies in the neighborhood who have grandchildren and certainly wouldn’t mind taking care of your little one as well while you were at work.” The priest smiled softly.
What he had heard was a lot to digest at once. Jared had been convinced that he couldn’t possibly raise a child but now there was hope. His mind was now racing with thoughts and more questions but he would save those for another time because he was too agitated to continue the conversation. Gulping down the rest of his hot chocolate to calm his nerves, the pregnant teen finally mustered a grateful “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” The young priest looked about to ask one last question but changed tactics at the last second. “I have to get up very early for morning mass tomorrow. What do you say if we get some rest now?”
“Yeah, I’m also kinda tired.” Jared carded his hand through his still damp hair and stood up from the sofa.
“Have you already taken your meds?”
The cough was almost gone and Jared was feeling pretty good but Steve had instructed him to take the prescribed medicine for at least ten days. “Yes, I have.” He found himself smirking at the mothering tone of Jensen’s question. “Good night.”
“Sleep well, Jared.”
Nodding his goodbye, Jared stood up and walked down the short hall to the bedroom. When he stripped down to his t-shirt and boxers, he found himself smiling as he tried to picture how his life might actually change for the better if he accepted Jensen’s help. Crawling under the warm bed covers, he gently placed his right hand on top of the soft swell of his pregnant belly and sighed in relieve when he felt a small flutter inside himself, assuring him that his baby was okay.
Jensen woke up for a second time that night. The first time it had been because of Jared, who had come into the living room to asking for a heating pad because the warm chocolate milk had upset his stomach a little. Now, though, he had been woken by increasingly distressed noises coming from the bedroom. He had already found out about Jared’s regular nightmares but this time it sounded like the kid was in actual pain, which wasn’t normal. Jumping up from his makeshift bed, he ran into the bedroom in a few big strides.
The scene that greeted him made the blood in his veins run cold. Jared was writhing on the bed and holding his stomach in obvious pain. The heating pad lay discarded next to his frail body and he had kicked the covers off. Even in the dim light of the moon shining through the big window, Jensen could clearly see the wet, crimson patch on the light grey boxer shorts the teenager had worn to bed. He could feel his heart miss several beats while he rushed towards the bed, and without thinking, pulled the kid into his arms. “Shhh. I’ve got you, Jared. I’ll get you to Steve.”
Jared was in too much pain and panic to reply but leaned his head against the young priest’s chest as if searching for comfort.
Carrying the suffering youngster to the living room where he had his phone, Jensen kept murmuring nonsense in hope of calming them both down. As soon as he could grab the phone he pushed speed dial #3 and was connected to the clinic within seconds. Not leaving the person on the other end of the line any time to start talking, he just burst out. “Male teen with strong abdominal pain. He’s bleeding profusely… He’s pregnant…” He was about to add the address of the church to his frantic ramble when he was interrupted.
“Jensen, is that you?” a familiar voice asked.
Nodding dumbly before remembering that Chris, Steve’s partner and paramedic at the clinic, couldn’t see him, he sobbed. “Yeah… Chris, he needs help!”
“I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
The line went dead and Jensen lowered his gaze to the ashen face of the still moaning teen in his lap. “Hang in there, Jay! You’re going to be fine. Chris will be here any minute and… and Steve will help you…” He locked eyes with the frightened boy and started sobbing openly when the kid’s eyelids slipped shut. “Please, don’t do this… No, don’t give up… You’re… You’re getting better… everyday… You can’t… Don’t do this to me… Don’t… leave me…”
Chapter 3