Sometimes I have coherent thoughts? Rarely, however, do they lead to fic?
GOD, I just had my foot bitten off by a huge bunny. S3, Wishverse, Cordelia & Angel road-tripping? But not so much about Cordelia and Angel as a couple, but more about Cordelia and Angel in regards to their motivations and ideas of heroism, and how the timeline is affected by Buffy's absence.
I have this idea of Angel dragging Cordelia out of Sunnydale-- sort of a random rescue deal-- just because she's with him. Not because he actively wants to protect her or save her, but because of the fact that she's already within arm's reach, it seems pointless not to exert the little effort it would require to haul her out of Sunnydale. It seems the only way Cordelia and Angel would ever form a friendship or relationship is through uncontrollable circumstances which bring them together, as it happened in City Of. I hardly think Angel gave Cordelia a second thought throughout all of Buffy s1-s3, or she him; Angel was focused entirely on Buffy, as a symbol of his redemption and his first dose of real acceptance post-ensoulment, and Cordelia just wanted to stay out of the good fight as much as she could. On a side note, it bothers me a lot when I read fics stating that Angel held some unrealized, all-encompassing desire/attraction/love for Cordelia, or vice versa. Cordelia was attracted to him originally, yes, but I hardly think it goes beyond that. This was one of the points I wanted to be clear about Angelus and Cordelia's interaction in The Worst Are Full of Passion. Angelus may have been molesting or following Cordelia, but Cordelia was nothing more than a means to an end, that end being Buffy. Anyway, I digress.
This idea intrigues me largely because of here, by tkp, which I discovered today. I have a secret love for reading meta on Angel (and Wesley, too, but that has absolutely nothing to do with this). I think most of what she says is true, especially in regards to Angel's motivations and opinions of himself, although I'm not sure how I feel about Liam. I think Liam really wanted nothing more out of life than to piss off his father at every possible point and to the highest amount of severity (so long as it didn't bring any life-threatening consequences to Liam himself), but I can see that developing because of the fact that Liam's father thought absolutely nothing of Liam and expected his lewd and worthless behavior. I also think that Liam expects his future to simply fall into his lap, without his assistance, and so he is already resigned to either a life of greatness or a life of mediocrity but feels he has no final say in whichever one it is. I don't think he had a desire to engage in any career at all; I think he figured that, in the end, whatever happened to him would happen, and that would be the extent in of his involvement. Sort of like Angel, in early BtVS. God, I keep getting distracted.
Anyway, basically, I want to play around the idea of what if Buffy had never shown up (as it was in the Wishverse) and, therefore, never had exerted that influence on Angel and drove him a little bit closer to heroism? I think that, before his relationship with Buffy developed as it did in s2, he really was just an existenialist who wanted nothing more than instant gratification, ie: love, acceptance, comfort. As demonstrated by Prophecy Girl, Angel was resigned to fate even when it took away the one thing he was beginning to want/admire, and I don't hesitate for two seconds to say that Angel would have left her to face the Master and die if it wasn't for Xander's timely appearance. Angel felt he had no control over anything at that point, even himself, and that he could do nothing more than follow what fate laid before him. Fate would always fuck him (which he never stopped believing, except in BtVS s2 pre-Angelus, although he would use that idea differently in future motivation), as it had with the curse and now with Buffy's inevitable death, so it didn't behoove him to try to exert any influence on the events unfolding before him.
Of course, in season 2, he begins to dismiss that idea due to his blooming relationship with Buffy. I think that a little selfish part of him thought he deserved the happiness he was getting, based solely on the idea that he had paid his penance wallowing around miserably in the sewers for a hundred years and was now helping Buffy in her mission. Up until season 5 of AtS, I still think he has some hope that one day he will deserve that kind of love and acceptance and family, but by season 5 he realizes that no matter how many people he saves, it will never erase the people he tortured/killed/etc and that redemption moved wholly beyond his grasp way back when he was Angelus. Which is why it's so easy for him to throw himself into a hopeless battle in NFA, because-- what's he got to lose? He has no future, really, except a continuous, up-hill battle littered with the bodies of his friends. That was a really harsh image I just painted, there.
So, what if Angel-- having been released from his cage only to watch Buffy, his would-be grail, be killed at the feet of the Master-- somehow stumbled across Cordelia and, due to the circumstances, ended up leaving Sunnydale with her? I assume Whistler showed up, as Angel was expecting Buffy to appear eventually in Sunnydale, as evidenced by his reaction at her presence. So Angel already feels like a failure, having been set up for this great big destiny with his leading lady, only to allow himself to be captured by the Master. And then, when he finally does escape and meets the girl, he watches her get killed across the room. Well, someone got fucked by fate again. This is where Cordelia would step in, although not so much as "step in" as be thrown beyond her will into Angel's company. Obviously, Angel wouldn't want her around, preparing himself for round two of rat wrestling. And I don't think Cordelia would particularly want to stay with him, either, except for the fact that Sunnydale is now a bust and she really doesn't have anywhere else to go. I also don't think Cordelia's opinion of Angel would be very high, after she heard his story. In Angel's mind, Cordelia would be a little like Judy (of Are You Now or Have You Ever Been), someone who Angel would help because she wouldn't leave him alone and also because of her potential as someone who could coddle and accept him.
It would be interesting to place Cordelia in Buffy's place, as a developing symbol of Angel's potential for heroism. She couldn't replace Buffy, or go about converting him the same way, for a number of reasons: Cordelia lacks Buffy's slayerly mission, which was one of the most important facets of her (in Angel's eyes), as it gave him the potential to attach himselft to a good cause; Angel fell in love with Buffy as a symbol, even before he knew her, which he wouldn't have with Cordelia; and Cordelia doesn't want to be in this situation and has the potential to actually escape it, where Buffy could not and, more importantly, would not. Cordelia, at least at this stage in her development, would be all for getting out of it as soon as possible.
Just a little idea I'm spinning around in my head and wanted to throw out there before I forgot it completely.
Well, that was fun. I went to see an ABSOLUTELY AWFUL movie with a friend last night-- it had Adam Sandler in it, who I hate now because of his lovey-dovey not Happy Gilmore self-- and paid, like, $9 for tickets. I hate the big city, and also wanted to see John Krasinski's movie instead, but my friend vetoed me. But the movie we did see had a preview for Dane Cook's new movie and WOW, he is smokin' hot. I remember very vividly this scene in the preview where he's macking hard on this chick, swings her around, and slams her against the wall. I'm sure the movie will be a bust, but I'm happy just to watch him sex up chicks and do, well, pretty much anything. I'd bang him in a second, but naturally, I'd make him tell jokes the whole time.
I have this idea of Angel dragging Cordelia out of Sunnydale-- sort of a random rescue deal-- just because she's with him. Not because he actively wants to protect her or save her, but because of the fact that she's already within arm's reach, it seems pointless not to exert the little effort it would require to haul her out of Sunnydale. It seems the only way Cordelia and Angel would ever form a friendship or relationship is through uncontrollable circumstances which bring them together, as it happened in City Of. I hardly think Angel gave Cordelia a second thought throughout all of Buffy s1-s3, or she him; Angel was focused entirely on Buffy, as a symbol of his redemption and his first dose of real acceptance post-ensoulment, and Cordelia just wanted to stay out of the good fight as much as she could. On a side note, it bothers me a lot when I read fics stating that Angel held some unrealized, all-encompassing desire/attraction/love for Cordelia, or vice versa. Cordelia was attracted to him originally, yes, but I hardly think it goes beyond that. This was one of the points I wanted to be clear about Angelus and Cordelia's interaction in The Worst Are Full of Passion. Angelus may have been molesting or following Cordelia, but Cordelia was nothing more than a means to an end, that end being Buffy. Anyway, I digress.
This idea intrigues me largely because of here, by tkp, which I discovered today. I have a secret love for reading meta on Angel (and Wesley, too, but that has absolutely nothing to do with this). I think most of what she says is true, especially in regards to Angel's motivations and opinions of himself, although I'm not sure how I feel about Liam. I think Liam really wanted nothing more out of life than to piss off his father at every possible point and to the highest amount of severity (so long as it didn't bring any life-threatening consequences to Liam himself), but I can see that developing because of the fact that Liam's father thought absolutely nothing of Liam and expected his lewd and worthless behavior. I also think that Liam expects his future to simply fall into his lap, without his assistance, and so he is already resigned to either a life of greatness or a life of mediocrity but feels he has no final say in whichever one it is. I don't think he had a desire to engage in any career at all; I think he figured that, in the end, whatever happened to him would happen, and that would be the extent in of his involvement. Sort of like Angel, in early BtVS. God, I keep getting distracted.
Anyway, basically, I want to play around the idea of what if Buffy had never shown up (as it was in the Wishverse) and, therefore, never had exerted that influence on Angel and drove him a little bit closer to heroism? I think that, before his relationship with Buffy developed as it did in s2, he really was just an existenialist who wanted nothing more than instant gratification, ie: love, acceptance, comfort. As demonstrated by Prophecy Girl, Angel was resigned to fate even when it took away the one thing he was beginning to want/admire, and I don't hesitate for two seconds to say that Angel would have left her to face the Master and die if it wasn't for Xander's timely appearance. Angel felt he had no control over anything at that point, even himself, and that he could do nothing more than follow what fate laid before him. Fate would always fuck him (which he never stopped believing, except in BtVS s2 pre-Angelus, although he would use that idea differently in future motivation), as it had with the curse and now with Buffy's inevitable death, so it didn't behoove him to try to exert any influence on the events unfolding before him.
Of course, in season 2, he begins to dismiss that idea due to his blooming relationship with Buffy. I think that a little selfish part of him thought he deserved the happiness he was getting, based solely on the idea that he had paid his penance wallowing around miserably in the sewers for a hundred years and was now helping Buffy in her mission. Up until season 5 of AtS, I still think he has some hope that one day he will deserve that kind of love and acceptance and family, but by season 5 he realizes that no matter how many people he saves, it will never erase the people he tortured/killed/etc and that redemption moved wholly beyond his grasp way back when he was Angelus. Which is why it's so easy for him to throw himself into a hopeless battle in NFA, because-- what's he got to lose? He has no future, really, except a continuous, up-hill battle littered with the bodies of his friends. That was a really harsh image I just painted, there.
So, what if Angel-- having been released from his cage only to watch Buffy, his would-be grail, be killed at the feet of the Master-- somehow stumbled across Cordelia and, due to the circumstances, ended up leaving Sunnydale with her? I assume Whistler showed up, as Angel was expecting Buffy to appear eventually in Sunnydale, as evidenced by his reaction at her presence. So Angel already feels like a failure, having been set up for this great big destiny with his leading lady, only to allow himself to be captured by the Master. And then, when he finally does escape and meets the girl, he watches her get killed across the room. Well, someone got fucked by fate again. This is where Cordelia would step in, although not so much as "step in" as be thrown beyond her will into Angel's company. Obviously, Angel wouldn't want her around, preparing himself for round two of rat wrestling. And I don't think Cordelia would particularly want to stay with him, either, except for the fact that Sunnydale is now a bust and she really doesn't have anywhere else to go. I also don't think Cordelia's opinion of Angel would be very high, after she heard his story. In Angel's mind, Cordelia would be a little like Judy (of Are You Now or Have You Ever Been), someone who Angel would help because she wouldn't leave him alone and also because of her potential as someone who could coddle and accept him.
It would be interesting to place Cordelia in Buffy's place, as a developing symbol of Angel's potential for heroism. She couldn't replace Buffy, or go about converting him the same way, for a number of reasons: Cordelia lacks Buffy's slayerly mission, which was one of the most important facets of her (in Angel's eyes), as it gave him the potential to attach himselft to a good cause; Angel fell in love with Buffy as a symbol, even before he knew her, which he wouldn't have with Cordelia; and Cordelia doesn't want to be in this situation and has the potential to actually escape it, where Buffy could not and, more importantly, would not. Cordelia, at least at this stage in her development, would be all for getting out of it as soon as possible.
Just a little idea I'm spinning around in my head and wanted to throw out there before I forgot it completely.
Well, that was fun. I went to see an ABSOLUTELY AWFUL movie with a friend last night-- it had Adam Sandler in it, who I hate now because of his lovey-dovey not Happy Gilmore self-- and paid, like, $9 for tickets. I hate the big city, and also wanted to see John Krasinski's movie instead, but my friend vetoed me. But the movie we did see had a preview for Dane Cook's new movie and WOW, he is smokin' hot. I remember very vividly this scene in the preview where he's macking hard on this chick, swings her around, and slams her against the wall. I'm sure the movie will be a bust, but I'm happy just to watch him sex up chicks and do, well, pretty much anything. I'd bang him in a second, but naturally, I'd make him tell jokes the whole time.