E-mail from Oxford

[mparkerceo]

TO: [Parker's usual friend's list][copy burnt & sent to Alanna by candle]
FROM: Parker
Subject: GRRR.

Hey guys,

Things I Am Proud of This Week:

1) I did not kill any course tutors, despite the workload they are inflicting on me.

2) I did not kill my supervisor, despite the fact that she clearly has broken all of her fingers and both legs, since she expects me to do all her running around, typing, and phone answering. Upside? I now know all her passwords. And her two assistants'. She's gonna regret that later.

3) I did not kill Allison, who has moved in with two poly sci majors downstairs and is now telling people that my father is a member of the New York mafia.

4) I did not kill, even though I REALLY REALLY WANTED TO, the new associate at the Centre London office. Mr. Lyle has not quite descended to sexual harassment, just smeary smarminess. But he loses a finger the first time his hands get anywhere near me.

5) I still have the best shoes on my dorm floor. Hell, in the whole dorm.

6) .... yeah, I'm tapped.

So. Kill anyone lately?

Homicidally yours,

Parker.

P.S. Send booze. Off to leverage protection money out of the freshmen on second floor now.

[open for IC & OOC]