The Causeway, Sunday close to sunset
Parker had stopped her car just off the Causeway, and now sat on the hood with the radio on, watching the waves hit the shore.
If the night turned cold
And the stars looked down...
One last good-bye, and she was gone. She had the weirdest sensation that it would disappear behind her the second she crossed the Causeway. Maybe this was how Xander felt, before he went home.
She twisted around to look at the Island, trying to memorize the coastline, as someone came walking up the street.
"I thought you were leaving today, Parker," Jarod said from behind her.
Parker turned to glance at him, smiled, then looked back at the ocean. "Like I'd leave without saying good-bye to you." She pulled her knees up, and rested her chin on them. "Could be the last time I see you for a long while."
He walked until he was standing beside the car, "I think you'll see me more than you think you will. Maybe a bit unexpectedly, but I'm not leaving the planet. I'll be around."
"There is that." And it was a consolation, too. He wasn't going off like Jack had, or the way Isabel or Anders or others would be out of reach when they graduated. It just unnerved her, not knowing where he'd be at any given time. "You'll write this time? And call? I know you can't all the time, but... If I call that cellphone number, will you still be using it?"
"I'll write and call when I can, but that number will be changing. Just in case I lose the phone somewhere, I wouldn't want someone to have access to friends I know here," he shook his head, "It's just not safe for them."
"I get that. I hate it, but I get it." Parker swallowed, not looking at him, then carefully said, "I hated those two years while I was gone, and you were in Blue Cove. So... yeah. Don't make it two years before you show up, okay?"
Her voice was not going to crack. It just wasn't. Damnit.
"You," he looked down at the ground, "You know better than anyone that it's not always up to me. Sydney can't go on like this forever."
"I know." She hugged her legs close to herself, and bit her lower lip to keep it from trembling. "I get scared for him, sometimes. I want to ask how he's doing this, I know Angelo's helping. But I worry what's going to happen if-- when the inevitable happens. I worry about him, I worry about you." She clenched her jaw. "We'll have to do something, once his tapdancing is over."
"If his tapdancing is over, it's because either I'm dead or he is," Jarod reminded her bluntly. "The Centre will not stop."
"No, I don't expect they will," Parker said, turning to look at him. "But do you think they'll blame him right off? You don't think he can cover long enough to hide what he did?"
He shrugged, staring out over the waves. "It depends on who discovers it. Assuming they haven't already."
Shivering, Parker looked away again, throat tightening. "I hope they haven't. I hope he'd tell us, if they had." She didn't really believe Sydney would, though. A long minute of thinking. "I'd never turn you in. Or him. You do know that, right? Or your family. Never."
Jarod never thought Sydney would tell them if there was a problem. As for what Parker had said, he was sad to say he wasn't sure. If her father asked, or if she needed the information for leverage to take down the Centre? Still, she was leaving and he didn't want to fight. So he lied to her. "Of course I know that, Parker."
"That was what hurt most when you left in September." Parker looked down at her hands, needing to believe him. Needing to believe they were okay. "That you didn't trust me." She laughed a little, not at anything funny, but just to keep the tears back. "I would've gone with you if you'd asked back then. And you didn't ask. I hated you for that."
"Better you hate me then, than hate me later," he said, hands in his pockets, "which you would have done, had I asked you to leave everyone and everything you knew and loved before you were ready."
"Maybe." Probably. More than likely. "You're still not off the hook for it," she said, her voice lighter. "But then, you're not off the hook for a ton of things. That's just the biggest."
Parker smiled a little, keeping her eyes on the ocean. "You know I love you, right? Not in love, not any more." Most of the time. "Just love. Even when I hate you, I love you."
He smiled slightly, not looking at Parker either. "You realize that makes no sense, right?"
"Oh please, it's me. You expect sense?" She snorted, eyes still on the
horizon. "'Do I contradict myself? Very well, I contradict myself.'"
"Parker, you were the first person I remember loving. You couldn't get rid of me if you tried."
Which had Parker smiling hugely, and still not looking at him. "You don't get to make me cry, damnit. You just don't."
Nope. Not crying. Blurry eyes, though, that's just... the ocean. Sea salt. Wind. Sunset slanting toward them. That's all.
"That wasn't my intention," he said, offering her a clean handkerchief.
Parker took it, and very carefully dabbed at her eyelashes, then handed it back. "You and Sydney, I swear. Only two men I know that actually carry those." She sighed, and slid off the hood of her car. "Are you going to call if you end up in the hospital? Or jail?"
"Depends why I'm there," he wouldn't lie about that.
Parker pfffftt'd, then grinned at him, having expected that kind of answer. "Right. Be like that. You're not going to change." She leaned in, grabbed the collar of his shirt, and pulled him closer. "But then, neither am I."
Jarod smiled slightly as she tugged on his collar. Yes, he was with Jaye, but he figured she would understand. This was goodbye, and farewell, and thank you for being a first friend, when no one else was there.
He leaned in, and lightly touched his lips to Parker's, remembering the feel and taste from many kisses, both more and less recent.
"You'll see me again, Maureen," he said quietly as he pulled away, looking down at her from the height he still wasn't completely used to around her. "Don't doubt it."
Like it had been with Jack, there was no romance to the kiss, no passion or demand. Just warmth, and good-bye, and thanks, and about a thousand other things she never had words for with Jarod.
The tears started again, but the smiling didn't stop. So she didn't try to wipe them away. "Yeah. I won't." Parker smiled at him again, and spun the keys around her fingers. "So long for now, then."
He took her hand, and held the keys against her slender fingers, meeting her eyes solemnly. "Be careful."
It wasn't a question.
"Same goes," she responded, meeting his eyes and squeezing her fingers around his. "As careful as you can be." Parker took a deep breath. "Or you know I'll come after you."
That wasn't a question either. She squeezed his hand once more, then dropped it, and opened the door to the car, pulling her shades down on her face. "Wish me luck. You know I'll need it."
"Good luck, Parker," he said, taking the edge of the door and ready to close it behind her once she was in the car, then he smirked. "And the handkerchief thing was all Sydney."
"I figured," Parker said dryly, then flashed him a real grin as she started the car. "And Jarod--" Words failed her again, but she finally just settled on, "Looking forward to next time!" as she pulled out of the parking lot, and onto the Causeway.
Jarod watched her go for a few minutes, and tried not to reflect on how he'd been left behind, again. "Good luck," he murmured, before turning and walking back towards town.
Parker drove across the Causeway, wind blowing her hair around her face, and checked in the rear-view mirror. Still there. Fandom didn't disappear.
She turned up the radio, and floored the accelerator.
I hate to say it
It's hard to say it
But it's probably me...
[Pre-played with the wonderful jarodpretends. Parker has now left Fandom. *hugs everyone*]
If the night turned cold
And the stars looked down...
One last good-bye, and she was gone. She had the weirdest sensation that it would disappear behind her the second she crossed the Causeway. Maybe this was how Xander felt, before he went home.
She twisted around to look at the Island, trying to memorize the coastline, as someone came walking up the street.
"I thought you were leaving today, Parker," Jarod said from behind her.
Parker turned to glance at him, smiled, then looked back at the ocean. "Like I'd leave without saying good-bye to you." She pulled her knees up, and rested her chin on them. "Could be the last time I see you for a long while."
He walked until he was standing beside the car, "I think you'll see me more than you think you will. Maybe a bit unexpectedly, but I'm not leaving the planet. I'll be around."
"There is that." And it was a consolation, too. He wasn't going off like Jack had, or the way Isabel or Anders or others would be out of reach when they graduated. It just unnerved her, not knowing where he'd be at any given time. "You'll write this time? And call? I know you can't all the time, but... If I call that cellphone number, will you still be using it?"
"I'll write and call when I can, but that number will be changing. Just in case I lose the phone somewhere, I wouldn't want someone to have access to friends I know here," he shook his head, "It's just not safe for them."
"I get that. I hate it, but I get it." Parker swallowed, not looking at him, then carefully said, "I hated those two years while I was gone, and you were in Blue Cove. So... yeah. Don't make it two years before you show up, okay?"
Her voice was not going to crack. It just wasn't. Damnit.
"You," he looked down at the ground, "You know better than anyone that it's not always up to me. Sydney can't go on like this forever."
"I know." She hugged her legs close to herself, and bit her lower lip to keep it from trembling. "I get scared for him, sometimes. I want to ask how he's doing this, I know Angelo's helping. But I worry what's going to happen if-- when the inevitable happens. I worry about him, I worry about you." She clenched her jaw. "We'll have to do something, once his tapdancing is over."
"If his tapdancing is over, it's because either I'm dead or he is," Jarod reminded her bluntly. "The Centre will not stop."
"No, I don't expect they will," Parker said, turning to look at him. "But do you think they'll blame him right off? You don't think he can cover long enough to hide what he did?"
He shrugged, staring out over the waves. "It depends on who discovers it. Assuming they haven't already."
Shivering, Parker looked away again, throat tightening. "I hope they haven't. I hope he'd tell us, if they had." She didn't really believe Sydney would, though. A long minute of thinking. "I'd never turn you in. Or him. You do know that, right? Or your family. Never."
Jarod never thought Sydney would tell them if there was a problem. As for what Parker had said, he was sad to say he wasn't sure. If her father asked, or if she needed the information for leverage to take down the Centre? Still, she was leaving and he didn't want to fight. So he lied to her. "Of course I know that, Parker."
"That was what hurt most when you left in September." Parker looked down at her hands, needing to believe him. Needing to believe they were okay. "That you didn't trust me." She laughed a little, not at anything funny, but just to keep the tears back. "I would've gone with you if you'd asked back then. And you didn't ask. I hated you for that."
"Better you hate me then, than hate me later," he said, hands in his pockets, "which you would have done, had I asked you to leave everyone and everything you knew and loved before you were ready."
"Maybe." Probably. More than likely. "You're still not off the hook for it," she said, her voice lighter. "But then, you're not off the hook for a ton of things. That's just the biggest."
Parker smiled a little, keeping her eyes on the ocean. "You know I love you, right? Not in love, not any more." Most of the time. "Just love. Even when I hate you, I love you."
He smiled slightly, not looking at Parker either. "You realize that makes no sense, right?"
"Oh please, it's me. You expect sense?" She snorted, eyes still on the
horizon. "'Do I contradict myself? Very well, I contradict myself.'"
"Parker, you were the first person I remember loving. You couldn't get rid of me if you tried."
Which had Parker smiling hugely, and still not looking at him. "You don't get to make me cry, damnit. You just don't."
Nope. Not crying. Blurry eyes, though, that's just... the ocean. Sea salt. Wind. Sunset slanting toward them. That's all.
"That wasn't my intention," he said, offering her a clean handkerchief.
Parker took it, and very carefully dabbed at her eyelashes, then handed it back. "You and Sydney, I swear. Only two men I know that actually carry those." She sighed, and slid off the hood of her car. "Are you going to call if you end up in the hospital? Or jail?"
"Depends why I'm there," he wouldn't lie about that.
Parker pfffftt'd, then grinned at him, having expected that kind of answer. "Right. Be like that. You're not going to change." She leaned in, grabbed the collar of his shirt, and pulled him closer. "But then, neither am I."
Jarod smiled slightly as she tugged on his collar. Yes, he was with Jaye, but he figured she would understand. This was goodbye, and farewell, and thank you for being a first friend, when no one else was there.
He leaned in, and lightly touched his lips to Parker's, remembering the feel and taste from many kisses, both more and less recent.
"You'll see me again, Maureen," he said quietly as he pulled away, looking down at her from the height he still wasn't completely used to around her. "Don't doubt it."
Like it had been with Jack, there was no romance to the kiss, no passion or demand. Just warmth, and good-bye, and thanks, and about a thousand other things she never had words for with Jarod.
The tears started again, but the smiling didn't stop. So she didn't try to wipe them away. "Yeah. I won't." Parker smiled at him again, and spun the keys around her fingers. "So long for now, then."
He took her hand, and held the keys against her slender fingers, meeting her eyes solemnly. "Be careful."
It wasn't a question.
"Same goes," she responded, meeting his eyes and squeezing her fingers around his. "As careful as you can be." Parker took a deep breath. "Or you know I'll come after you."
That wasn't a question either. She squeezed his hand once more, then dropped it, and opened the door to the car, pulling her shades down on her face. "Wish me luck. You know I'll need it."
"Good luck, Parker," he said, taking the edge of the door and ready to close it behind her once she was in the car, then he smirked. "And the handkerchief thing was all Sydney."
"I figured," Parker said dryly, then flashed him a real grin as she started the car. "And Jarod--" Words failed her again, but she finally just settled on, "Looking forward to next time!" as she pulled out of the parking lot, and onto the Causeway.
Jarod watched her go for a few minutes, and tried not to reflect on how he'd been left behind, again. "Good luck," he murmured, before turning and walking back towards town.
Parker drove across the Causeway, wind blowing her hair around her face, and checked in the rear-view mirror. Still there. Fandom didn't disappear.
She turned up the radio, and floored the accelerator.
I hate to say it
It's hard to say it
But it's probably me...
[Pre-played with the wonderful jarodpretends. Parker has now left Fandom. *hugs everyone*]