i can't get over how great this is
today was such an incredibly beautiful day.
in pretty much all ways.
except when i let myself fall into bad habits,
and maybe even then, too,
finally letting myself accept my faults,
i am incredibly happy.
everything
i even have a cold
but you know what?
chewable vitamin c is delicious. it's a good excuse.
i haven't been this happy in... well... at least a year.
i was starting to worry maybe i was just not a happy person.
but i...
you don't appreciate what you have until it's lost, it's true.
and i'm lucky enough to have a chance to have some of those things back again before i graduate
general emotional sanity.
time with friends. rebuilding cracked relationships.
slowly, but surely.
and academia!
oh how i love studying!!
my classes are unbelievably interesting.
i am passionate about what i'm learning
and i can pick projects to work on that i am passionate about.
no one dictates my time but me.
"don't let the urgent crowd out the important"
the mantra i tried to live by for the past year, sometimes small victories,
overall a general sense of not accomplishing what i'd wanted.
now:
there is very little urgent to even try to override the important that's not also important.
every chance to turn things up.
rediscovering me. without all the everything i've always used as a deceitful scaffold for self-definition.
a frightening but exciting potential, a future just on the tip of the tongue,
unknown to the speaker but surely present, palatable.
as my prof spontaneously asked the class today,
"isn't life great?"
in pretty much all ways.
except when i let myself fall into bad habits,
and maybe even then, too,
finally letting myself accept my faults,
i am incredibly happy.
everything
i even have a cold
but you know what?
chewable vitamin c is delicious. it's a good excuse.
i haven't been this happy in... well... at least a year.
i was starting to worry maybe i was just not a happy person.
but i...
you don't appreciate what you have until it's lost, it's true.
and i'm lucky enough to have a chance to have some of those things back again before i graduate
general emotional sanity.
time with friends. rebuilding cracked relationships.
slowly, but surely.
and academia!
oh how i love studying!!
my classes are unbelievably interesting.
i am passionate about what i'm learning
and i can pick projects to work on that i am passionate about.
no one dictates my time but me.
"don't let the urgent crowd out the important"
the mantra i tried to live by for the past year, sometimes small victories,
overall a general sense of not accomplishing what i'd wanted.
now:
there is very little urgent to even try to override the important that's not also important.
every chance to turn things up.
rediscovering me. without all the everything i've always used as a deceitful scaffold for self-definition.
a frightening but exciting potential, a future just on the tip of the tongue,
unknown to the speaker but surely present, palatable.
as my prof spontaneously asked the class today,
"isn't life great?"