The Jonas University Lecture Series; JNS 315: Advanced Jonasology, "Jonas Sexual Development"
Fourth in an ever-expanding series of lectures.
Course Prerequisites:
JNS 101: Introduction to Jonases; Dr. irishmizzy, PhD
JNS 102: Modern Jonas History; Dr. agate, PhD
JNS 201: Jonas Music Theory; Dr. miss_bennie, PhD
Further Upper-Level Seminars: TBA
JNS 315 Advanced Jonasology. (3 cr.) Advanced Jonasology is a catch-all course that consists of a variety of upper-level seminars designed to enhance your Jonas (and fic writing) expertise. Today's lecture, Jonas Sexual Development, will focus on that grey area of Jonas lore that is better known as The Girlfriends.
Course Objective: To examine the Jonas behavioral response to the female sex, focusing primarily on their mating (well, not mating, but you know) habits, consistent media avoidance, and break-up mannerisms. For this course, we will be departing from our reliance on concrete "facts," and instead take a more philosophical approach that your instructor would like you to think of as: Doing The Best With What We've Got. If this is not your preferred method of study, feel free to drop the course at any time (however, you will receive a big fat "W" on your transcript).
When it comes to talking about their love lives, the brothers have one very simple game plan: avoid, distract, and deny. Please take a moment to observe all three tactics in action:
Click to viewSo, when all you've got to go on is "Yes, [insert name of girl Nick/Joe/Kevin is allegedly dating here] is a great girl and anyone would be lucky to date her," (which, let's face it, is tantamount to one of them getting up on a coffee cart and yelling, "VERONICA CORNINGSTONE AND I HAD SEX AND NOW WE ARE IN LOVE" in Jonasdom) it's easy to feel that this:
This is what we know. Luckily for us (and solely in the interests of academia, of course), the girls don't tend to have the same policy of non-disclosure. Well...at least afterward they don't. Also, the boys are pretty bad liars. It helps.
Unit 1: Kevin Jonas [the cute romantic one]
"When I'm around the girl I like, I sweat."
Face it, aside from his tendency to wear effeminate scarves and high-heeled dress boots, Kevin's really the only one of the boys that appears to have his shit together when it comes to the ladies. Be honest students, is he not the only one that you might actually consider dating? Sure, he'll be telling you what to wear for the rest of your life and you'll have to trash all of your favorite sweatpants, but Kevin once flew across the country to see a girlfriend for only a half hour! He likes calling his girlfriend all the time while they're on the road! Is it so much to ask that she take the time to wear dresses and fresh flowers in her hair? Well, maybe.
Zoe Myers
The Girl: A self-proclaimed actress/model/singer/dancer, Zoe met the Jonas Brothers when she was cast in their music video for the song "Year 3000" (yep, as one of those ridiculous pink-haired girls from the future). She has since been featured in a handful of music videos and at one point was part of the band Stained Pink, which opened for the Jonas Brothers a few times in 2007. Judging by her eyesore of a MySpace page, she appears to be attempting a solo career in music. Her MySpace profile quotes Jessica Simpson. I just thought we should all be aware of that.
The Relationship: According to Zoe, both Joe and Kevin texted her after the video shoot, which led to them hanging out. She and Kevin allegedly dated for about a year, sometime between 2006 and 2007, and I will be giving Kevin the benefit of the doubt and not assume that this was his first girlfriend. Kevin was an adorable teenager who actually got to go to public high school for a while, I'm sure he did fine with the ladies. But I digress.
Zoe says that their time together was spent making pizzas with pepperoni hearts, going to basketball games, and going on dinner cruises. I don't quite know what to make of that last one, but okay. Kevin often played his guitar for her when they were apart and always wanted to hold her hand in public, despite needing to appear "single" in the public eye. Kevin Jonas: the rebel Jonas Brother. Betcha didn't see that one coming.
The Break-Up: Recently Zoe spilled to a magazine (which was interviewing her on the basis of her being Kevin's ex and not her blossoming music career, fyi) that Kevin cried when he broke up with her. In a related story: I want to punch Zoe Myers in the face. Zoe went on to say: "I was in shock. All I can tell you is that no one cheated, there was no big single thing that I know of and it was incredibly painful for both of us. We haven't talked since."
The Songs: Despite this seemingly tame account of their break-up, it is widely believed that Kevin wrote the less-than-flattering "Video Girl" in Zoe's honor. "Video Girl" placed at number 49 on Rolling Stone's list of the 100 Best Singles of 2008 (the only Jonas Brothers song to make the list). In the article, the song is described as "an uncharacteristically nasty - and characteristically catchy - swipe at chicks-on-the-make from the titans of Radio Disney."
In an apparent response to the song, Myers wrote the song "Robot Boy." The music video for "Robot Boy" has been viewed less than 9,000 times on YouTube. Also, it sucks. That's just my opinion, but it's true.
Video Girl :: Jonas Brothers
Move to LA, got no talent
Not even like you won a Miss Teen pageant
Daddy pays your bills but you still whine
Video girl rocked my world for a whole two seconds
And now I know I'm not about to be another victim
Of the video girl syndrome
Get out of my face, get out of my space
Get some class and kiss the past
Robot Boy :: Zoe Myers
So cry your metal tears tonight
Try to make yourself feel right
I hope one day you'll wake up and find your life
Cause it's not your own
You're a robot boy
So brainwashed, it's sad
Like a wind up toy
Wake up from that dream
You're being destroyed
Poor little robot boy
Danielle Deleasa
The Girl: Danielle is an old friend (and possibly a former neighbor) of the Jonas family from their days in Wyckoff, New Jersey. Looks-wise, she has been compared to such C-list celebrities as Haylie Duff and Ashley Tisdale. No career or educational information on Danielle is available, but she spends much of her time on the road with the boys, so one can only assume that her future career plans include (and are possibly limited to) "Mrs. Kevin Jonas."
The Relationship: Rumors about Kevin and Danielle began circulating in early 2008, but were confirmed when (in a move reminiscent of an awkward onstage VMAs kiss) pictures surfaced of the couple kissing while on an outing to Point Magu, California in October 2008. Kevin has since maintained that he is still single and appeared agitated when questioned about the relationship by Ryan Seacrest (commenting, "Do you have friends that are of the opposite sex? Why can't we?"), but has recently changed that statement to "no comment." Danielle is often spotted traveling with the boys and, according to fan reports, is very nice when approached and often stops to take pictures with her boyfriend's fans.
Rumors that Kevin was out shopping for engagement rings over Christmas were put to rest by the boys in an interview. Nick said of the incident, "Our mom wasn't even there," and joked, "Kevin, thanks for telling me that you’re getting engaged! I was in the store with you!” Kevin added, "My dad calls me -- my dad actually called me -- 'Is there something I should know Kevin?' I’m like, 'Dad, really? Like, come on!' So it was really funny."
Kevin's actual Christmas present to Danielle was an adorable Texas Teacup puppy named Daisy. I will pause the lecture now for the collective, "Awwww."
Recently Danielle (along with her friend Sarah, who is pregnant with Kevin's soon-to-be godchild) was harassed by Jonas fans at a Jesse McCartney concert in New Jersey. The hecklers called her creative names like "nasty skank" and "nasty whore" among other things, but Danielle politely walked away from the situation.
The Break-Up: Kevin and Danielle are currently dating and are currently adorable. Seriously, if Kevin ever breaks up with her for anyone other than Zac Efron, I will cut a bitch.
The Songs: Unknown, but the newest Jonas Brothers album released in June require careful analysis.
Unit 2: Joe Jonas [the cute funny one]
"My favorite flirty line is 'Hey, did you drop this?' Then you pick up a handful of sugar and say, 'It fell out of your hair.'"
Joe likes girls. You know all the girls? Joe likes them all. Especially the blonde ones.
Seriously though, Joe is the middle child. He grew up with everyone treating his little brother like the family superstar and it took him a few years to fully grow into his looks (although I maintain that the Joe-hawk era was a thing of beauty). Both of these facts may contribute to Joe's minor case of Girl ADD, and they don't make a Ritalin for that, folks. Or maybe they do, and maybe her name is Taylor Swift.
Moving on.
Mandy Van Duyne
The Girl: The Van Duyne family were neighbors of the Jonas family when they lived in Wyckoff, New Jersey and also attended the Assembly of God church where Kevin Sr. was a minister. Mandy, who says she was very shy when she was young, met the boys when Nicholas approached her and asked if she wanted to be friends, but insisted that "you have to talk if you want to be my friend." Keep this in mind because we will be revisiting it later on in the course.
Mandy became a good friend to all of the boys and they spent their adolescent time together making videos, writing songs, playing on the swings, writing songs about playing on the swings, and being bossed around by baby Nicholas in general. Mandy's current profession is listed as "Personality" and she may or may not currently have her own advice column in Popstar magazine, but I'm not about to buy one to find out. Maybe I'll make that your take-home assignment.
The Relationship: Once the two friends hit puberty, Mandy became Joseph's first girlfriend and they dated in 2005 while the boys were working on their debut album. Reports vary on how long the relationship lasted, but Mandy has said that they were together for only the summer.
The Break-Up: According to Mandy, their break-up was mutual and they both decided that they were better off as friends. Mandy continues to remain friends with all of the boys and even toured with them in a smelly van while they promoted their It's About Time album. She also appears in their video for "I Wan'na Be Like You." These days Mandy can usually be spotted at their concerts and appearances in the New Jersey/New York area, but I wouldn't be surprised if she were to end up on a reality TV show somewhere.
The Songs: The Jonas Brothers first single "Mandy" was written about her (surprising, right?) while she and Joseph were dating. After they recorded the song, they played it for her and her mother for the first time in their kitchen as a surprise. The song "Underdog" from It's About Time is also based on Mandy.
Mandy :: Jonas Brothers
Mandy used to be that girl
The one that never said a word
But she only sang
S Club 7, and all those boy bands
Mandy always laughs when I act stupid
I am unaware that I'm a nuisance
With her it's never wasted time
Underdog :: Jonas Brothers
She's an underdog
Lives next door to me
She's always heard you won't amount to anything
And it kills me to watch the agony beyond her eyes
Tragic the way people pass her by
AJ Michalka
The Girl: Amanda Joy Michalka (better known as AJ) is a singer-songwriter and actress. She and older sister Aly comprise the teen-pop duo Aly & AJ, part of the Disneyverse of teen stars. Aly & AJ have toured with the Jonas Brothers and in 2008 the duo replaced the boys as the opening act for the final leg of the Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus Best of Both Worlds Tour (but we'll get to that later on in the course). To date, Aly & AJ have released three albums and have also branched out into the Christian rock music scene. AJ has had acting roles in the DCom Cow Belles and MTV's Super Sweet 16: The Movie, and also has a role in the upcoming film The Lovely Bones.
The two sisters grew up homeschooled Christians and, when they discovered during a 2006 interview with Blender magazine that evolution has been taught in public schools for the better part of a century, expressed their shock and distaste. AJ commented on the subject, "Evolution is silly. Monkeys? Um, no." Brb, I have to go shoot myself in the face in the name of America's youth now.
The Relationship: Joe and AJ began dating while the Jonas Brothers were opening up for Aly & AJ on tour in 2006. After pictures of the two kissing surfaced, AJ confirmed the relationship on her MySpace blog in September 2006 saying, "P.S. - In regards to the recent photo posted of Joe and I...yes...it's true that we have been dating for several months now...Life is good!" Ah, the good old days. I think that if this happened now, Joe's PR person would be on it so fast that the internet would spin. Anyhow, judging by the available photos, the pair spent a lot of time holding hands at various amusement parks.
The Break-Up: Officially, the two claim that their long distance relationship was too difficult to maintain, however, conflicting evidence suggests a more volatile split. In an early interview, Joe admitted that a girlfriend once broke up with him because he forgot her birthday. He said: "My ex-girlfriend sent me a piece of her birthday cake in the mail and it was an ice cream cake. That's when I knew it was kind of over. I opened the box and it was melted and dripping in my hands. I was like, 'Wow!' And then I told her I got it, and she was like, 'Oh, did you eat it?' I was like, 'Ummm, no...it melted!'" The two are supposedly still not on speaking terms.
The Songs: It is widely accepted that Aly & AJ's biggest hit to date, "Potential Break-Up Song" was written about her split with Joe. At the time of its release, the song was the third most successful single from a Hollywood Records artist (a record that was soon surpassed by both Miley Cyrus* and the Jonas Brothers) and appeared as #9 on Time magazine's list of the "10 Best Songs of 2007."
In an apparent response to the single, the Jonas Brothers debuted their song "Move On" at the Bamboozle concert in May 2007. "Move On" was never officially included on a Jonas Brothers album, supposedly because their record executives found the song to be "too mean" for the intended audience. And it is mean. Mean and awesome.
*[In 2008 Miley Cyrus posted a YouTube video of herself and her friend Mandy lip-syncing and dancing to "Potential Break-Up Song," just two months after her break-up with Nick Jonas. It remains unknown as to whether this ironic "shout-out" to AJ was intentional.]
Potential Break-Up Song :: Aly & AJ
It took too long for you to call back
And normally I would just forget that
Except for the fact it was my birthday
My stupid birthday
We got along until you did that
Now all I want is just my stuff back
Do you get that?
Let me repeat that
I want my stuff back
Move On :: Jonas Brothers
Wouldn't it be nice if you stopped whining
And telling all your friends that I've been lying
You can trust me when I tell you we're through
And how many times will it take you
Do the math, me minus you
I'm right, you're wrong, move on
How many feelings will you harbor?
Get over it, your friends are so much hotter
Amelia Than-Aye
[Instructor note: Okay, so this is when things get a little dicey with our good friend Joe Jonas, so please cut me some slack here. In 2007, Joe dated an Australian model (possibly more than one Australian model?) named Amelia. Some claim that her name is Amelia Warner (although, there is another Amelia Warner - a 25 year old English actress - that suggests otherwise), some claim that she is Australian model Amelia Jennings (although photographs of Jennings do not seem to be the same girl pictured with Jonas), some claim that she is Australian model Amelia Than-Aye (from my personal research, this is the most likely choice), and some even claim that Amelia Than-Aye changed her name to Amelia Warner.
Yikes, right? Maybe Joe dated one, or all, of these girls. The world may never know. Judging by my own research, the ex-girlfriend is Amelia Than-Aye and there is only one of her. So, let's go with that. Feel free to debate this conclusion at the end of our course, but please come prepared with a visual presentation to illustrate your argument.]
The Girl: Gorgeous Australian model. Yep, that about covers it.
The Relationship: Reports vary (hah, obviously), but Joe supposedly met Amelia through his ex-girlfriend, Mandy. This story seems to be corroborated by numerous pictures floating around of Amelia and Mandy hanging out together. Mandy may have met Amelia through MySpace, but I can't back that up.
The Break-up: Although they split in 2007 (possibly over another girl), Amelia is still spotted attending Jonas Brothers shows from time to time. At one point she called out crazy Jonas fangirls on her MySpace saying, "..people who i seriously thought were nice girls being two faced and just trying to get close to me to get close to jb. I know theres alot of people out there doing the same thing and those people are the reason i dont/cant trust anyone in my life." Maybe she had thought all of these random girls were befriending her because of her modeling career? I'm not quite sure.
The Songs: "Australia," from the Jonas Brothers self-titled album, is supposedly about her. Unless Joe just really really digs Australian girls, which is also possible.
Australia :: Jonas Brothers
And I'll wait for her to come
She won't break my heart
'Cause I know she'll be from Australia
She is so beautiful
She's my dream girl
Taylor Swift
The Girl: Taylor Swift is a country/pop singer-songwriter from Wyomissing, Pennsylvania. Since releasing her debut single "Tim McGraw" in 2006, Swift's star has continued to rise in the music industry and she was once described by the New York Times as "one of pop's finest songwriters, country’s foremost pragmatist and more in touch with her inner life than most adults." Swift was the biggest-selling music artist of 2008 and her single "Love Story" became the first country song in history to top the mainstream pop charts. She was nominated for the 2008 Best New Artist Grammy, but lost to Amy Winehouse.
Swift is notorious for being very open about her personal relationships and is often known to name-drop ex-boyfriends and former crushes in her song lyrics, including Stephen Barker Liles of the band Love and Theft, and former classmate Drew Hardwick. In other words: we should've known Joe was doomed from the start.
The Relationship: Relationship rumors started swirling when fans spotted Taylor in the VIP section at various Jonas Brothers concerts during their Burnin' Up Tour in the summer of 2008. Taylor made several guest appearances on the tour (as well as being filmed as a part of their 3D movie), singing a duet with Joe of her song "Should've Said No" -- a song written about a high school ex who cheated on her and broke her heart. I won't say foreshadowing, but...oh wait, no, I just said it. Taylor also appears in the music video for "Love Is On Its Way" -- she can be spotted buying a hot dog from Kevin the Hot Dog Vendor along with Frankie Jonas (who Taylor claims to be her favorite Jonas) and Nick's BFF, Maya.
Insiders claimed that the two engaged in a lot of flirting, meals, and late-night chats, saying that Taylor did not want to leave Joe's side. Another source claimed that the two text messaged and talked on the phone non-stop and that Joe "seems to be head-over-heels for Taylor and cannot shut-up about her to his family." Which, if true, might explain why Nick appears to be less-than-thrilled with her during her performance in their 3-D movie, but I'm getting off topic aren't I. Taylor and Joe reportedly spent Joe's 19th birthday cuddling and watching the Olympics.
In August, Joe flew from a Saturday night tour stop in New Jersey to attend Taylor's Sunday night show in West Palm Beach, Florida. Witnesses claim that Joe arrived just before the show began and that he was trying to avoid being noticed, adding, "He was really into the show. You could tell he was really focused on her." After Taylor's hour-long opening set, he immediately went backstage to see her. So, apparently he didn't come for the country music.
When asked about the relationship, Taylor would only respond, "He's an amazing guy and anybody would be lucky to be dating him," a remark eerily similar to Joe's earlier response to Ryan Seacrest that, "She's a great girl. I think anybody would love to go on a date with her." When the Jonas Brothers posted a new video on their YouTube channel, fans quickly noticed that Taylor could be seen giggling and hiding from the camera in the reflection of a mirror on the wall, and Swift was also photographed leaving a supposed "triple-date" with the brothers, holding hands with Nick's rumored girlfriend, Selena Gomez.
The VMAs only brought more rumors about the pair when they were photographed flirting on the red carpet and sitting together during the show. VMA host Russell Brand also confirmed that the Jonas Brothers personally requested that Swift introduce their performance at the show. When asked about the VMAs at the DVD-release of Selena Gomez's film Another Cinderella Story, Taylor commented that, “I think that there was a little too much sex being talked about instead of music," and, "I think that the Jonas Brothers are the most professional people in the music industry - they laugh at themselves and know how to have fun regardless of whether they are being picked on throughout the entire show.”
The Break-Up: On October 8th, the news broke that Taylor and Joe (neither of whom had confirmed their relationship at this point) had split up and that Taylor had gotten her heart broken. Joe's motivations behind the break-up were unknown. Maybe he met the only pair of eyebrows he could ever love, or maybe he finally figured out that Taylor's idea of fun was getting married and having babies. Immediately. With him.
On Taylor's MySpace profile, the line in her bio that had previously read But I'm also the girl who still believes prince charming exists somewhere out there-- fully equipped with great hair and an immature sense of humor was still there...only with the part about the great hair and the immature sense of humor unceremoniously crossed out. One gossip blogger hilariously commented on the slight, saying "Note that she didn't erase it; she only Strikethrough-ed it. It's like even through the pain of her heartache, she couldn't deny Joe has a dreamy combination of wave and texture."
Around this time, concert-goers reported that before one of Taylor's shows "Burnin' Up" came on the loudspeakers, but that the song was barely played through "I'm HOT, you're COLD" before it was scrapped and switched to a different (and presumably less heart-breaking) song. Witnesses also said that Taylor cried through a few of her songs ("the ones about break-ups") onstage. Taylor took to her MySpace blog, but did not mention the split directly -- only saying that she was spending her time eating Cool-Whip, talking to her cat, and making playlists of sad songs. She also posted a video montage set to the Katy Perry song "Hot N Cold" -- a song about a guy who's fickle-in-love.
While promoting her new album, Taylor appeared on the Ellen Degeneres Show and, when asked about her break-up with Joe, she responded, "We haven't talked since actually, but you know what? Someday I'm gonna find somebody really really great who's right for me...and when I look at that person, I'm not even gonna be able to remember the boy who broke up with me over the phone in twenty-five seconds when I was eighteen."
To further incite hoardes of enraged fangirls everywhere, Swift posted a new MySpace video in which she holds up a Shane Grey (Joe's character in Camp Rock) doll and says, "See, this one even comes with a phone. So he can break up with other dolls." She then warns her doll to stay away from Joe's doll, but I'm betting that once the camera was off she put their faces together and made kissy noises. On Ryan Seacrest's radio show she went on to say that she'd learned not to date guys who are "not allowed to go out in public with me” or guys who "don't think my sense of humor is funny."
So, let me get this straight. In the span of twenty-seven seconds Joe managed to convey: 1) I'm breaking up with you; 2) because I met someone else; and, 3) I don't think you're funny. Maybe you need to check that call log again, Tay.
In the midst of the media scandal, a rumor surfaced about Taylor being pregnant with Joe's baby, to which Taylor responded (via her MySpace), "I read a very creative rumor this morning saying I'm pregnant, which is the most IMPOSSIBLE thing on the planet. Take my word for it. Impossible." Well, thank God for that. When asked about the rumor that Joe was now dating actress Camilla Belle, OK! Magazine reported that Taylor replied, "They've been together for months. That's why we broke up" -- insinuating that Joe had cheated on her. OK! amended the statement in a later issue, claiming to have misquoted Taylor and changing it to, "They've been together since we broke up. That's why we broke up -- because he met her."
Joe's only response to the rumors came in the form of a MySpace blog (which has since been removed) stating:
[Instructor note: In my head, this blog begins with Joe running into the room, waving his arms around, and yelling "I GOT SOMETHING TO SAAAY."]
Several things I will state with all my heart…
I never cheated on a girlfriend. It might make someone feel better to assume or imply I have been unfaithful but it is simply not true. Maybe there were reasons for a breakup. Maybe the heart moved on. Perhaps feelings changed. I am truly saddened that anything would potentially cause you to think less of me.
For those who have expressed concern over the "27 second" phone call. I called to discuss feelings with the other person. Those feelings were obviously not well received. I did not end the conversation. Someone else did. Phone calls can only last as long as the person on the other end of the line is willing to talk. A phone call can be pretty short when someone else ends the call. The only difference in this conversation was that I shared something the other person did not want to hear.
There were later attempts at communication that had no response.
I wish the best for the other person but could not sit back any longer and leave our fans with a wrong impression of the truth.
When asked to respond to the blog, Taylor's publicist only commented that Taylor had moved on. Since then, Taylor has made similar statements to that effect, including, "He's not in my life anymore and I have absolutely nothing to say about or to him." When asked by Rolling Stone whether she did indeed hang up on Jonas, she responded "I did not hang up on him" and then mouthed, "Oh my God."
Joe has only publicly commented on the break-up once, when the boys appeared on the David Letterman show. When the subject of Taylor was brought up, Joe looked behind the couch he was sitting on (as if to check if she was hiding back there) and then responded, "Yeah...we didn't work out." His brothers seemed to get a kick out of that.
The Songs: Taylor Swift released Fearless (an album which your instructor is wretchedly in love with) in November 2008, admitting that the song "Forever & Always" was a last minute addition that she wrote about her break-up with Joe Jonas. She explains that the song is about watching him "slowly slipping away" and not understanding why. She added that, "the guy I wrote it about ended up breaking up with me for another girl." In her blog, she describe the song by saying, "Theres the story of the boy who walked away because he found some other girl to promise forever to." When asked how he felt about having a song written about him, Joe said, "It's flattering. It's always nice to hear their side of the story."
The lyrics sheet to "Forever & Always" even reveals the hidden message (it's like the Da Vinci Code of teenage heartbreak): If you play these games, we're both going to lose. During her performance on Dick Clark's New Years Rockin' Eve, Taylor busted out a verse of "Forever & Always" -- an event at which the Jonas Brothers were also performing. Luckily, when the ball dropped, the always adorable Demi Lovato was present to diffuse some of the awkwardness. Also, uh, this happened so...I don't even know what to say about that. WHO thought that would be a good idea?
And, speaking of awkward performances, in November Taylor performed her song "White Horse" at the 2008 American Music Awards. During the performance she appeared visibly upset, and even pointed at someone (uh, Joe, if you've been asleep at your desk) in the audience while she sang. At the 2009 Grammy Awards in February Taylor performed her song "Fifteen" with friend, and fellow Jonas-ex, Miley Cyrus. According to comedian Kathy Griffin, who was at the pre-show concert, Taylor was "staring daggers" at Joe (who was seated in the front row) throughout the performance. For these reasons, I'm including those songs on your syllabus for extra-credit, even though they are not written directly about Joe. I figure that "performed spitefully at Joe" counts for our purposes.
Should've Said No :: Taylor Swift ft. Jonas Brothers
I can't resist
Before you go tell me this
Was it worth it?
Was she worth this?
Forever & Always :: Taylor Swift
This thing is breaking down
We almost never speak
I don’t feel welcome anymore, baby what happened please tell me
Cause one second it was perfect and now you’re half way out the door
White Horse :: Taylor Swift
Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday
Who might actually treat me well
Fifteen :: Taylor Swift
Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine
And Abigail gave everything she had
To a boy
Who changed his mind
Camilla Belle
The Girl: Camilla Belle is a half-Brazilian, American-born actress. Belle is actually her middle name (her last name is Routh), but she uses it for obvious reasons. As a young girl she appeared in several big movies, such as The Lost World: Jurassic Park, Practical Magic, The Patriot, and the classic DCom Rip Girls. Her more recent films include When A Stranger Calls, 10,000 BC, and Push. Belle is fluent in Portuguese and also plays classical piano.
The Jonas Brothers have a long history with Camilla...in their minds. Both Joe and Nick have previously admitted in interviews to having crushes on her. In one, Nick advises his brother to propose to Camilla the moment he meets her, pulling out the stellar pick-up line, "I'll take you to 10,000 B.C." Nowadays, the boys refrain from having celebrity crushes (as Kevin -- who incidentally also had a crush on Taylor Swift back in the day -- explains), "because we will probably run into them at one point or another so it's a little weird to have that in print somewhere." The implied end of that statement being "..and also because she might end up dating your brother." Awkward.
The Relationship: Joe met Camilla while shooting the video for "Lovebug," which they invited her to appear in because the boys all "fell in love with her" (according to Nick) when they saw 10,000 B.C. Also, they'd have a better chance at the whole marriage proposal thing if they actually met face to face. It is maintained that there was no "canoodling" on the set and that the two did not start dating until after the video shoot (uh, because he was with Taylor then, remember her?), but you can't help wondering if Joe really did get down on bended knee and propose to Camilla on that day that he met her. Or if maybe he called Taylor first and then did it.
When asked about Camilla, Joe would only comment that "she's a wonderful girl." And, at this point in the course if you don't know what that means, I'm failing you. In November 2008, just as the media shit was hitting the fan over the Joe and Taylor break-up, Camilla was photographed on vacation in Mexico with the Jonas family. Rightfully, I think that the bigger news story should have been the length of Nick and Joe's bathing suits, but then again, I'm no journalist.
For several months, Joe and Camilla kept their relationship pretty low-key and were rarely spotted out together. Once the Swift storm blew over (uh, sort of), however, the couple was photographed together from the east to west coast. In January, Joe was noticed skipping the red carpet and sneaking into the premiere of her film Push. One movie-goer said, "Once the lights in the theater went down, Joe snuck in and sat right next to her. After the credits rolled, they left in a rush holding hands." The next week, the two were photographed out in Santa Barbara on a romantic date to (you guessed it) Disneyland, completing Joe's longstanding pattern of amusement park dates.
The Break-Up: Camilla has stirred up controversy by being seen out all over LA with several other men. She was seen out with her rumored ex, Robert Pattinson (the dude from Twilight that doesn't shower, for those of you unfamiliar with...television, movies, or the internet), which sparked rumors that Camilla was hoping to get back together with him. When asked about this by GQ, Camilla answered by only saying, "I know what I'm doing." In March, Camilla was seen going out with and attending several tennis matches of another supposed ex, Fernando Verdasco. At one point, one of the match commentators identified Camilla as Verdasco's fiancee.
Despite the break-up rumors, Camilla and Joe are still together (according to photographs as well as Camilla's rep). The two of them were photographed with the cast of Avenue Q in New York City, and (most recently) cuddling at a Dodgers game.
Songs: None yet, but I'd be willing to bet that will change very soon. Probably around June 15th.
So, somehow my syllabus got so long that it required two posts, so please let's all take a quick break and then reconvene for Part 2 of today's lecture.