Fuck!
It was a joke gone too far and then it became about pride and stubborness...I just wanted a kiss goodbye...I dont understand why he acts this way sometimes...he gets all weird and distant...pushing my buttons on purpose to see how far he can push until I break down and cry or yell or get so frustrated that real words dont even come out of my mouth anymore, just gibberish and grunts and ahhh's! What is the point of all of it? All it does is make me upset and confused...it hurts my feelings, even if it is all in fun in his eyes...it isnt fun in my eyes...it hurts...it hurts when he refuses to give me a kiss goodbye and really it isnt a big deal...but what if he were to get in an accident and die? I could never forgive myself for not giving him one last kiss...do you see now?!?!? It isn't insecurities that makes me want a kiss goodbye it is just in case...I need to know that I gave them one last kiss, told them I loved them one last time...fuck! Why cant he understand that? Why does he toy with my emotions? Is it boredom? Curiosity? His own insecurities? I dont know...all I know is I hate it...and now I cant concentrate cuz I am convinced he is upset with me or something and I hate that...it isnt funny, not to me, not at all.