Done.
Somehow, and I'm really not sure how, but somehow I managed to get through this semester in (mostly) one piece. This whole semester has been so absurdly horrible, that I have been literally laughing and crying all week in reflection. It was just so bad, and holy hell did it end in quite the queasy bang. Touche, cruel fate, you sleazy bitch, touche.
I don't know why, but when I came back from winter break, I was just so terribly depressed. Then in February I kind of had a bit of a nervous breakdown (those are always loads of fun), and after that, I've just been kind of glazed over. Then for a very, very brief period if time, I was privy to a very thin slice of happiness, which quickly manifest itself as a sledge hammer of pain and disappointment. It was just so perfectly terrible, you know? It was the perfect cherry to top off a truly, truly horrible fucking year.
My friend Meg and I have decided that time should be measured in emotional days, rather than calendar days. In the past calendar week I have gone through roughly 500 emotional days. I was so low, and then I was rocketed so high, and then came down so hard that it literally gave me motion sickness.
I just feel like vomitting uncontrollably. And then I want someone to punch me really hard in the face and in the gut. The I can just lay there contently, sucking my bloody lips, and chasing my pain as it runs frantically throughout my body.
If I hadn't already taken two years off from school to go crazy, then I would definitely be taking the next semester off. Ugh. What is wrong with my brain? Why does it feel the need to always be so active? And to repsond to everything so strongly? I think I need a lobotomy. All of the nerves in my body feel so fried and frayed, that I too burnt out to muster enough strength to be exhausted.
I can't even tell you how happy I am to go home tomorrow. I already feel more like myself just thinking about it. I am going to have an amazing summer if it FUCKING KILLS ME. It WILL be awesome. Mark my words, friend.
I think as long as nothing too terrible happens in the next 24 hours, I should be okay. It would almost be worth my dying, if my plane crashes and "I think as long as nothing too terrible happens in the next 24 hours, I should be okay" is one of the last things I ever said. That would be hilarious. And oh, too perfect.
Goodnight everyone. See you in California.