today is gunna be the day that they're gunna throw it to you.
I really need to talk to someone. No. I need to talk to someone who cares so probably Lauren. I have just made this totally awesome observation which in a way makes me feel happy because I am not stressing about it anymore. But, it's also kind of not good because well, something has to be wrong with it. Social problems.
I have friends. Yes. I have people that I am nice to, which is almost everyone I know because I do not think being a dick to everyone you know is the best way to live your life. But, I have just realized why I do not do anything. Ever. Why I do not have any friends that I hang out with outside of school really. Why I do not have anyone other than Lauren that I can really talk to you. It's because I choose not too.
I do not want a social group of people, which will eventually cause a shit load of drama between everyone. I do not want to hang out with people on the weekend. I do not want my weekend filled with anything other than me. alone. quietly in my room reading or listening to music or watching a movie. Hey, guess what? I pretty much hate people. Social situations.
So, this is good that I have finally been able to see this, or admit this, or something like that. You know, I have been asking and wondering and trying to figure out so long why it is that I have not had a best friend since Ali and I stopped hanging out. It's because I do not want one. To be honest, I really do not think I will ever find someone who will top Ali and my friendship with her. After we stopped talking, I felt like I was breaking up with her like how a dickhead boyfriend breaks up with his girlfriend. Ignores her.
I do not want a best friend or a social clique or to be around people a lot. I hate it. I like being alone and able to process thoughts. I like being around my WCATY friends. No. I love being around my WCATY friends. They mean everything to me, but when it comes to the school year and people I live by, I don't like hanging out, going to the movies or going to the mall. I am growing out of everything I am suppose to love. It's really fucking retarded. Yes. Retarded.
I am socially inept.[sp?]
Yeah, well, anyway.
Good: I realized I hate having friends and being busy all the time.
Bad: I realized I hate having friends and being busy all the time. I will never have close friends again.
PS. I miss WCATY. You have no idea, and I was thinking about not going too because Danneka and Julie are not going. Kara and Daniel cannot go back and Anna is unsure if she is going too. WTF?! I hate life, guys.
I have friends. Yes. I have people that I am nice to, which is almost everyone I know because I do not think being a dick to everyone you know is the best way to live your life. But, I have just realized why I do not do anything. Ever. Why I do not have any friends that I hang out with outside of school really. Why I do not have anyone other than Lauren that I can really talk to you. It's because I choose not too.
I do not want a social group of people, which will eventually cause a shit load of drama between everyone. I do not want to hang out with people on the weekend. I do not want my weekend filled with anything other than me. alone. quietly in my room reading or listening to music or watching a movie. Hey, guess what? I pretty much hate people. Social situations.
So, this is good that I have finally been able to see this, or admit this, or something like that. You know, I have been asking and wondering and trying to figure out so long why it is that I have not had a best friend since Ali and I stopped hanging out. It's because I do not want one. To be honest, I really do not think I will ever find someone who will top Ali and my friendship with her. After we stopped talking, I felt like I was breaking up with her like how a dickhead boyfriend breaks up with his girlfriend. Ignores her.
I do not want a best friend or a social clique or to be around people a lot. I hate it. I like being alone and able to process thoughts. I like being around my WCATY friends. No. I love being around my WCATY friends. They mean everything to me, but when it comes to the school year and people I live by, I don't like hanging out, going to the movies or going to the mall. I am growing out of everything I am suppose to love. It's really fucking retarded. Yes. Retarded.
I am socially inept.[sp?]
Yeah, well, anyway.
Good: I realized I hate having friends and being busy all the time.
Bad: I realized I hate having friends and being busy all the time. I will never have close friends again.
PS. I miss WCATY. You have no idea, and I was thinking about not going too because Danneka and Julie are not going. Kara and Daniel cannot go back and Anna is unsure if she is going too. WTF?! I hate life, guys.