I Don't Know What's Right and What's Real Anymore
Things have been exploding this weekend. Not like, in a terrible explosion of nasty fighting, but just in a kind of surprising way.
Stupid Patrick wrote Hattie a expertly composed facebook message all about how he wasn't happy with Sarah. I don't think he gets that he's being incredibly selfish, but I don't see how he could not understand that. Hattie was doing such a good job not being crazy and contacting him all the time, and now he just decides to elbow his way back into her brain. Unfair. If I knew him/was still in high school, I would call him up/facebook message him and tell him how much of a douche he's being. I hope Hattie makes the right decision and tells him to fuck off.
Rachel did a silly thing, but I don't see how she could have done it with bad intentions. Of course, instead of being a helpful friend, I made her feel like shit, which made me feel like shit. This whole thing she's been talking about with monogamy being the root of all evil was something I thought was just a passing blip on my radar but now it seems to be permeating most of the conversations I have. She did tell me that it was a way of thinking and therefore relevant to everybody, and I guess she was right.
I don't even know if I really believe in monogamy. What I mean is that I don't know if it's something you have to believe in at all. I know that I can get kind of jealous, so for me it can be important. But at the same time, I am definitely capable of having casual sex and quasi-friendships without feeling like I have some kind of ownership of anybody. If I really care though, its important to me that whoever it is cares that much about me too. And if the way I express how much I care is by not sleeping with anybody else, then it would probably be nice if that were reciprocated.
I really should have just been supportive and listened to what she had to say about it before passing judgment. For all I know she was going to say things similar to what I said but after I opened my big mouth she felt too guilty to say much of anything at all. Ugh. I really need to practice talking less and listening more.
And me. Oh geeze. I did a silly thing too. There was this boy from my Drug Studies class last semester that I had sex with once which lead to a fiasco of sorts. His name is Dustin, and I thought he was an alright guy. Not the brightest or funniest or cutest, but not bad. Anyways, after having slept with him and subsequently discovering that he was an alcoholic, he dropped out of the class and we stopped talking. Then, out of the blue one day, he calls me yelling about how much of a bitch I am for telling his girlfriend that we slept together. And I'm all What? You have a girlfriend? Turns out, it was this other girl in our class. Funny though, because they never acted like they were a couple and I definitely didn't talk to her about him at all. One of his housemates must have told her, but it didn't really matter because after that conversation I didn't speak to him again. For the record, she didn't break up with him and never said anything to me about it or behaved like she knew at all.
So he called me up Friday, which surprised me, and invited me to a party at his house. I guess he and Alina broke up, but it didn't seem like a booty call, and good thing too because I didn't let him touch it. I had been sitting around my house all day and I've got that new resolution to not not meet people, so I went. It was super early, like 10pm when I got there, and I was totally wasted by 11:30. I didn't know anybody there except Dustin, but it was ok because I was wasted enough that it didn't matter. Sometime, I ended up in what I think was Dustin's room having sex with some guy whose name I don't remember. Classy. And then, I blacked out. Apparently I was home by 1am because I wrote on Caleb's facebook wall, which I also don't remember. I have no idea how I got home, but I woke up in my own bed. It's terribly disconcerting to not remember the guy I slept with though. All I know about him is that he is tall-ish and has short brown hair. Hah. He wears t-shirts sometimes too, I'll bet.
Blech blech blech. I can't even post the video I want to post because Mark Ronson is a meanie.
This will have to do:
Look! Hugh Laurie and John Malkovich!
Stupid Patrick wrote Hattie a expertly composed facebook message all about how he wasn't happy with Sarah. I don't think he gets that he's being incredibly selfish, but I don't see how he could not understand that. Hattie was doing such a good job not being crazy and contacting him all the time, and now he just decides to elbow his way back into her brain. Unfair. If I knew him/was still in high school, I would call him up/facebook message him and tell him how much of a douche he's being. I hope Hattie makes the right decision and tells him to fuck off.
Rachel did a silly thing, but I don't see how she could have done it with bad intentions. Of course, instead of being a helpful friend, I made her feel like shit, which made me feel like shit. This whole thing she's been talking about with monogamy being the root of all evil was something I thought was just a passing blip on my radar but now it seems to be permeating most of the conversations I have. She did tell me that it was a way of thinking and therefore relevant to everybody, and I guess she was right.
I don't even know if I really believe in monogamy. What I mean is that I don't know if it's something you have to believe in at all. I know that I can get kind of jealous, so for me it can be important. But at the same time, I am definitely capable of having casual sex and quasi-friendships without feeling like I have some kind of ownership of anybody. If I really care though, its important to me that whoever it is cares that much about me too. And if the way I express how much I care is by not sleeping with anybody else, then it would probably be nice if that were reciprocated.
I really should have just been supportive and listened to what she had to say about it before passing judgment. For all I know she was going to say things similar to what I said but after I opened my big mouth she felt too guilty to say much of anything at all. Ugh. I really need to practice talking less and listening more.
And me. Oh geeze. I did a silly thing too. There was this boy from my Drug Studies class last semester that I had sex with once which lead to a fiasco of sorts. His name is Dustin, and I thought he was an alright guy. Not the brightest or funniest or cutest, but not bad. Anyways, after having slept with him and subsequently discovering that he was an alcoholic, he dropped out of the class and we stopped talking. Then, out of the blue one day, he calls me yelling about how much of a bitch I am for telling his girlfriend that we slept together. And I'm all What? You have a girlfriend? Turns out, it was this other girl in our class. Funny though, because they never acted like they were a couple and I definitely didn't talk to her about him at all. One of his housemates must have told her, but it didn't really matter because after that conversation I didn't speak to him again. For the record, she didn't break up with him and never said anything to me about it or behaved like she knew at all.
So he called me up Friday, which surprised me, and invited me to a party at his house. I guess he and Alina broke up, but it didn't seem like a booty call, and good thing too because I didn't let him touch it. I had been sitting around my house all day and I've got that new resolution to not not meet people, so I went. It was super early, like 10pm when I got there, and I was totally wasted by 11:30. I didn't know anybody there except Dustin, but it was ok because I was wasted enough that it didn't matter. Sometime, I ended up in what I think was Dustin's room having sex with some guy whose name I don't remember. Classy. And then, I blacked out. Apparently I was home by 1am because I wrote on Caleb's facebook wall, which I also don't remember. I have no idea how I got home, but I woke up in my own bed. It's terribly disconcerting to not remember the guy I slept with though. All I know about him is that he is tall-ish and has short brown hair. Hah. He wears t-shirts sometimes too, I'll bet.
Blech blech blech. I can't even post the video I want to post because Mark Ronson is a meanie.
This will have to do:
Click to viewLook! Hugh Laurie and John Malkovich!