wtf?
So I've spent a week or two on lj building up a goofy ditzy persona. It's a bit exaggerated. I'm working on accepting that goofy is where I'm at right now and I'd rather call myself goofy then have someone else do it. Kind of a second adolescence. New weird body, weird new feelings, not knowing how to deal. Gotta have a gimmick right?
I had weight-loss surgery almost two years ago, I had good timing. When they went in to do the surgery they found a tumor. My 45 minute laproscopic surgery turned into over 6 hours of open surgery. I It was tough. It's been tough. It's been incredibly wonderful too. I'm bad at difficult anniversary's such as a loved one's death, health crisis, that sort of thing. Coming up on my two year surviorship is a good thing, It's also freaking me out.
I'm just now figuring out I'm likely going to live a good while longer then I thought. I was pretty sure the cancer would come back by now and I was going to face months/years of miserable health quality fighting it and losing. That of course could still happen, I could also die in an auto accident, die in a plane crash or get struck by lightning.
Been blundering for a while now. Closing my eyes and running ahead. Closing my eyes and running into walls, bookcases, friends, acquaintances.
Gotta figure this thing out.
Eh, that's all I've got to say now.