Passover food
So, I've eaten a lot of very good food this passover. First I went to a Seder at the home of a friend's family in Bethesda, and the food there was awesome. Tragically, I came in *second* in an exciting matzo-eating contest. There were 5 or 6 of us not-quite-grownups there. Afterwards, here mom announced, "Okay all you college kids, here are some
( Read more... )
I wonder if that "mouthwash for your nose" would get the smell of putrid rotting lawn clippings out of my nasal passages? The other day I was using a shovel to turn a 1.5m high by 2.5m wide pile of lawnmower clippings that had been dumped, for compost, about two weeks prior. Nobody had turned the pile, and it was all grass. (To make good compost, it will need a lot of leaves and maybe wood chips (deciduous, not evergreen).) When the pile is not aerated, the anaerobic microbes take over. They produce an overpowering vile odor which no longer resembles fresh cut grass in any pleasant way. The odor and taste pervade the senses to such a degree that you can litterally smell and taste nothing else for 4 hours after smelling it for as long as it takes to throw a few shovels full of it from the old pile onto the new one, after which one must move upwind a few steps and take deep lung and sinus purging breaths of air...
Later when I got home, I could still smell it. It had permiated my clothing and I reeked of it. So then I took a shower. The mist from the water smelled like a tea made from the putrid anaerobically rotting lawn clipping! Afterwards, I could stil smell it. I souped up a can of stew with some fresh broccolli and spinach from the yard garden. When I smelled the soup cooking, it smelled like the yard clipping stink-gas-stuff had gotten mixed into the stew. When I ate it, all I could taste was the malodorous stink-gas-stuff from the putrifying lawnmower clippings!
That yard clipping stuff would serve well as an organic stink-bomb weapon... I envision the prototype being made from a heavy-duty wide-tthbbpppper water-balloon and a mush made from some of that putrescent decaying yard grass and mushed dead snails, painted with archaic magic symbols, pyramids, batlaffs and double daggers... We'll stockpile millions of tons of them in underground bunker-tombs! Wow! And think about how much fun we'll have making the disposable peasants work to create that bunker-tomb and stockpile of grass clipping stink-bombs... Oh, and how golly, but that stink... Oh, I know! We could turn them into ducks! Oh, wait, I don't know how to do that... and besides, I don't need a duck... Oh! I know! We could cut off the worker's noses! That way, they can't smell it... or at least, will no longer be willing to admit that they can, for fear of the top secret (don't tell anyone I'm leaking this to the press) Horseradish Onion Steroid Phosphoric Acid Nosewash!
Well, I hope that our friends in domestic surveilance, over at the grand old NSA there, don't, uhhm, misinterpret this posting and come flying around our homes in those pesty black helicopters, dropping clusters of black turtleneck combat armorred commandos to come and arrest us for it!! Garsh. Well, when they find that pile of grass, and verify my story, they'll realize that it's totally real, and will want to minimize publich exposure, so they'll flash us and we'll forget about it except they only know Windows, and don't know how to purge this blog from off the server for all of history and eternity... so they'll have left it here and we'll remember everything again!
Huh? Somebody just said "flower bomb." I'm not sure that it would anilate the grass clipping stink-gas-stuff bomb smell or just make it smell more like a french elevator... crappy oi de toilet fake flower and cigarette-smoke mingled with the pervading, nausious bwuuuaah gack retch invoking putrified grass clipping mush with mashed dead snails!
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment