overdue post
since i've been here i've been too dependent on people for my happiness. it's not nessessarily a bad thing but it's a 180 from the days back in miami. here i have other people who know exactly what i went and am now going through, they're called fags. but how wise is it to depend on gay people for my happiness; we're all fucking unstable, depressed, narssacistic, and bipolar. don't get me wrong, i love my NYU gays, but how wise is it to depend on someone that's as unstable as me for my happiness... being in the closet for so many years i dont even know who i am, i've had to hide my likes and dislikes for so long that i don't even know what they are anymore. as i build up enough courage to walk down the street with my head up--no more shame about who i am--i wonder how long its gonna last. hopefully till i get to miami, but u never know, maybe my world can come crashing down when miami comes to me...