I'm feeling so down
Cause I don't know my place...
I get no takers
When I try to give myself away.
(200?, Kirk)
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I miss having friends. I mean I have friends in ssssactown............. In sactown. Not here. Nope nada zilch. Great neighbors. No FRIENDS. Quite a few friends we just have different lives now. I have a toddler. Life can't be what it was. When I try to live life/do things the way I used to she gets understandably bored and understandably upset. Side note if dance parties with DJs were all ages she would dig the shit outta those.
I live life alone.
I find myself for the first time ever in my life wishing to change certain aspects of my partner. I do not like it. I used to just leave. I find I can not.
Life is so monotonous. Small things are fun but on the whole It feels the same day after day after day. I was never one for structure so now I'm using it all days bleed together. My brain is now solid rock, unspongelike. I feel like I am dumb, I have poor body immage, I am a failure, I feel unappreciated and unloved. I don't feel great passion about anything. Depression, anyone?
To be fair today was a rather bad day. I HATE not being able to make the changes i want to make in my life without complicating other things in my life. I hate that SO can't fix it for me (unrealistic, I know).
Who am I??? Who the fuuck aam I anymore???
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