mr. speaker, we are for the big
I can't believe that I have not yet mentioned the Blind Idiot Translation of Revenge of the Sith that I found a few weeks ago via TV Tropes Wiki. It's basically a Chinese bootleg version of Revenge of the Sith, translated back into English (albeit very badly) from Chinese. It's from this translation that we get the Internet meme (and frequent caption in images macros such as lolcats) "DO NOT WANT." (In one of the last scenes in the movie, when Darth Vader would normally let out a big "NOOOOOO!" when Palpatine tells him that he killed Padme in his anger, the Chinese bootleg version has him saying "Do not want.") I found the entire text of the translation here, which can be extremely funny if you have a lot of ROTS memorized like I do (as you can actually figure out what they're supposed to be saying). There are also some captioned screenshots here.
To give you an idea about how amusing the translation is, here's a scene from the end of the movie, with the correct dialogue in parentheses following the Blind Idiot Translation.
Padme: I worry you very much. They tell me concerning your terribly affair. (I was so worried about you. Obi-Wan told me terrible things.)
Anakin: What affair? (What things?)
Padme: He says a member that you become dark world, say you at kill the child. (He said you turned to the Dark Side, that you killed younglings.)
Anakin: The ratio wants to let you leave me. (Obi-Wan is trying to turn you against me.)
Padme: He concerns us very much. (He cares about us.)
Anakin: We? (Us?)
Padme: He has known. He wants to help you. The peaceful is willing to, I a hope gets your love. (He knows. He wants you help you. Anakin, all I want is your love.)
Anakin: The love can't save you, the plum of. Only there is my new ability then can save you. (Love can't save you, Padme. Only my new powers can do that.)
Padme: Why such, you are a good man. Do not do like this. (At what cost? You're a good person. Don't do this.)
Anakin: I can't lose again your elephant loses my mother so. I am more than any hero's geologic changes strong and big. I do so is for protecting you. (I can't lose you the way I lost my mother. I am become more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of. And I'm doing it for you. To protect you.)
Padme: Leave with me together. Help me brings up our child. At the time of we still canning make. (Come away with me. Help me raise our child. Leave all of this behind while we still can.)
Anakin: You unknown white, we do not need to flee from home again. I bring the republic the peace. I am stronger and big than superior. I can overthrow him. We can rule the galaxy together, become us to the world to hope so. (Don't you see? We don't have to run away anymore. I have brought peace to the Republic. I am more powerful than the Chancellor. I can overthrow him. And together you and I can rule the galaxy, make things the way we want them to be.)
Padme: I dare not believe the words that I hear. The ratio says of to you changed. (I don't believe what I'm hearing. Obi-Wan was right. You've changed...)
Anakin: I do not want that hear again the name that compare. Hero's ground rebeled me. You must not rebel me. (I don't want to hear any more about Obi-Wan. The Jedi turned against me. Don't you turn against me.)
Padme: I am already incognizant you. The peaceful is willing to, I can't walk last with you you a road for running about. (I don't know you anymore. Anakin, you're breaking my heart. You're going down a path I can't follow.)
Anakin: Because ratio? (Because of Obi-Wan?)
Padme: Because your conduct and actions. The plan of your future. Stop right away, ask you to come back. I love you. (Because of what you've done. What you plan to do. Stop, stop now, come back. I love you.)
Anakin: Lier! (Liar!)
Padme: Do not want! (No!)
Anakin: You follows he together. You take him to come to want to kill off me here. (You're with him! You brought him here to kill me.)
Padme: Is not! (No!)
Obi-Wan: Putting her walks, the peaceful is willing to. Putting her walks. (Let her go, Anakin. Let her go.)
Anakin: Is you let her rebel me! (You turned her against me!)
Obi-Wan: This is your own masterpiece. (You have done that yourself.)
Anakin: You can't rend away her! (You will not take her from me!)
Obi-Wan: This is what your exasperation results in. You let the dark lord distort your heart. Now... you become you to think the ruined object before. (Your anger and your lust for power have already done that. You have let this dark lord twist your mind until now... now you've become the very thing you sought to destroy.)
Anakin: Do not say the reason with me, ratio. I have seen the true facts of pure hero's ground. I not elephant you be afraid the dark world so. I give my new empire. Bring the peace, freedom, justice, with safety. (Don't lecture me, Obi-Wan. I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do. I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new empire.)
Obi-Wan: Is not your new empire. (Your new empire?)
Anakin: Let me not killing your. (Don't make me kill you.)
Obi-Wan: The peaceful is willing to, but is I to republic with democratic and loyal to. (Anakin, my allegiance is to the Republic, to democracy.)
Anakin: If you are not to stands at me, that you are my enemy. (If you are not with me, then you are my enemy.)
Obi-Wan: Disabled person must solve. I needs must I should of. (Only a Sith deals in absolutes. I will do what I must.)
As you can see, most of the hilarity simply comes from things getting lost in translation (especially the character names: Anakin is refered to throughout the film as "gold," "Allah gold," "line," and "the peaceful is willing to" and Obi-Wan is "ratio," for example). There are times, though, that the Blind Idiot Translation is actually better than the real dialogue, as in the line "This is your own masterpiece" (instead of "You have done that yourself) as seen above. The most awesome example, however, comes from my subject title:
Palpatine: You two careful, he is a big. (Get help. You're no match for him. He's a Sith Lord.)
Obi-Wan: Mr. speaker, we are for the big. (Chancellor Palpatine, Sith Lords are our specialty.)
Anyway, there are a ton of awesomely mistranslated lines that you'll see popping up in my subject titles, and that is where they come from. /geek
Ever since last weekend I've had a plot bunny for a short piece involving Daria and what is essentially her friend-with-benefits, since they're pretty much best friends since they were kids and then end up having four kids together (though they're certainly having a little more sex than that which produces the children). The problem was that I had no good name for said boything. He had been called Finn for a while, but I realized that wasn't really working out (and the second "n" would be lost in the phonetical spelling from their alphabet, which would make his name Fin, and even though the phonetical spelling doesn't turn up in the actual writings, it would still bother me). I then thought about calling him Owen, but that didn't work either (because even though I used to love the name, the look of it now inexplicably bothers me), and I considered Mattin nicknamed Matty, but then I realized that I hated the look and sound of Mattin so that wouldn't work either. Then there was the whole Aeron issue of last night, in which I couldn't have Aeron pronounced as Aaron because then it would rhyme with Perrin, and so then I considered insisting on the pronunciation "EYE-run"--but then I realized that that sounded like a treadmill manufactured by Apple: iRun. So I thought I would remedy that by spelling it Aerin, so that it would be pronounced more like "EYE-rin," but then I realized that that would be one syllable off from Aneirin. So I was at a loss for a moment and then I realized I could shuffle around some names so that he was Destin (which had previously been the name of Perrin and Julia's son, who hadn't yet done anything of importance). So now the boything has a name: Destin Palenight. Now hopefully I can get started on the piece. (Of course, now Perrin and Julia's son doesn't have a name, but he might be able to pull off Zorion. He has a sister named Axelle, after all.)
(And then, after all that, I realized that I shouldn't really be concerned about the similarity of names because I have a Leah and a Leon--whose storylines don't intersect, thankfully--and that's not subject to change anytime soon. So conceivably, I could have had an Aerin and an Aneirin. But Destin will remain Destin. It's easier than trying to force the pronunciation EYE-rin for Aerin.)
I started reading Moby-Dick today for English, and what I've read so far (the first six chapters) has been surprisingly amusing. And I've also found hints of Ho Yay. (Damn you, TV Tropes Wiki.) Anyway, I know I shouldn't get my hopes up for this actually being a good book, because I've been assured that there will be times that I will hate this book. But at least it's good for now.
To give you an idea about how amusing the translation is, here's a scene from the end of the movie, with the correct dialogue in parentheses following the Blind Idiot Translation.
Padme: I worry you very much. They tell me concerning your terribly affair. (I was so worried about you. Obi-Wan told me terrible things.)
Anakin: What affair? (What things?)
Padme: He says a member that you become dark world, say you at kill the child. (He said you turned to the Dark Side, that you killed younglings.)
Anakin: The ratio wants to let you leave me. (Obi-Wan is trying to turn you against me.)
Padme: He concerns us very much. (He cares about us.)
Anakin: We? (Us?)
Padme: He has known. He wants to help you. The peaceful is willing to, I a hope gets your love. (He knows. He wants you help you. Anakin, all I want is your love.)
Anakin: The love can't save you, the plum of. Only there is my new ability then can save you. (Love can't save you, Padme. Only my new powers can do that.)
Padme: Why such, you are a good man. Do not do like this. (At what cost? You're a good person. Don't do this.)
Anakin: I can't lose again your elephant loses my mother so. I am more than any hero's geologic changes strong and big. I do so is for protecting you. (I can't lose you the way I lost my mother. I am become more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of. And I'm doing it for you. To protect you.)
Padme: Leave with me together. Help me brings up our child. At the time of we still canning make. (Come away with me. Help me raise our child. Leave all of this behind while we still can.)
Anakin: You unknown white, we do not need to flee from home again. I bring the republic the peace. I am stronger and big than superior. I can overthrow him. We can rule the galaxy together, become us to the world to hope so. (Don't you see? We don't have to run away anymore. I have brought peace to the Republic. I am more powerful than the Chancellor. I can overthrow him. And together you and I can rule the galaxy, make things the way we want them to be.)
Padme: I dare not believe the words that I hear. The ratio says of to you changed. (I don't believe what I'm hearing. Obi-Wan was right. You've changed...)
Anakin: I do not want that hear again the name that compare. Hero's ground rebeled me. You must not rebel me. (I don't want to hear any more about Obi-Wan. The Jedi turned against me. Don't you turn against me.)
Padme: I am already incognizant you. The peaceful is willing to, I can't walk last with you you a road for running about. (I don't know you anymore. Anakin, you're breaking my heart. You're going down a path I can't follow.)
Anakin: Because ratio? (Because of Obi-Wan?)
Padme: Because your conduct and actions. The plan of your future. Stop right away, ask you to come back. I love you. (Because of what you've done. What you plan to do. Stop, stop now, come back. I love you.)
Anakin: Lier! (Liar!)
Padme: Do not want! (No!)
Anakin: You follows he together. You take him to come to want to kill off me here. (You're with him! You brought him here to kill me.)
Padme: Is not! (No!)
Obi-Wan: Putting her walks, the peaceful is willing to. Putting her walks. (Let her go, Anakin. Let her go.)
Anakin: Is you let her rebel me! (You turned her against me!)
Obi-Wan: This is your own masterpiece. (You have done that yourself.)
Anakin: You can't rend away her! (You will not take her from me!)
Obi-Wan: This is what your exasperation results in. You let the dark lord distort your heart. Now... you become you to think the ruined object before. (Your anger and your lust for power have already done that. You have let this dark lord twist your mind until now... now you've become the very thing you sought to destroy.)
Anakin: Do not say the reason with me, ratio. I have seen the true facts of pure hero's ground. I not elephant you be afraid the dark world so. I give my new empire. Bring the peace, freedom, justice, with safety. (Don't lecture me, Obi-Wan. I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do. I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new empire.)
Obi-Wan: Is not your new empire. (Your new empire?)
Anakin: Let me not killing your. (Don't make me kill you.)
Obi-Wan: The peaceful is willing to, but is I to republic with democratic and loyal to. (Anakin, my allegiance is to the Republic, to democracy.)
Anakin: If you are not to stands at me, that you are my enemy. (If you are not with me, then you are my enemy.)
Obi-Wan: Disabled person must solve. I needs must I should of. (Only a Sith deals in absolutes. I will do what I must.)
As you can see, most of the hilarity simply comes from things getting lost in translation (especially the character names: Anakin is refered to throughout the film as "gold," "Allah gold," "line," and "the peaceful is willing to" and Obi-Wan is "ratio," for example). There are times, though, that the Blind Idiot Translation is actually better than the real dialogue, as in the line "This is your own masterpiece" (instead of "You have done that yourself) as seen above. The most awesome example, however, comes from my subject title:
Palpatine: You two careful, he is a big. (Get help. You're no match for him. He's a Sith Lord.)
Obi-Wan: Mr. speaker, we are for the big. (Chancellor Palpatine, Sith Lords are our specialty.)
Anyway, there are a ton of awesomely mistranslated lines that you'll see popping up in my subject titles, and that is where they come from. /geek
Ever since last weekend I've had a plot bunny for a short piece involving Daria and what is essentially her friend-with-benefits, since they're pretty much best friends since they were kids and then end up having four kids together (though they're certainly having a little more sex than that which produces the children). The problem was that I had no good name for said boything. He had been called Finn for a while, but I realized that wasn't really working out (and the second "n" would be lost in the phonetical spelling from their alphabet, which would make his name Fin, and even though the phonetical spelling doesn't turn up in the actual writings, it would still bother me). I then thought about calling him Owen, but that didn't work either (because even though I used to love the name, the look of it now inexplicably bothers me), and I considered Mattin nicknamed Matty, but then I realized that I hated the look and sound of Mattin so that wouldn't work either. Then there was the whole Aeron issue of last night, in which I couldn't have Aeron pronounced as Aaron because then it would rhyme with Perrin, and so then I considered insisting on the pronunciation "EYE-run"--but then I realized that that sounded like a treadmill manufactured by Apple: iRun. So I thought I would remedy that by spelling it Aerin, so that it would be pronounced more like "EYE-rin," but then I realized that that would be one syllable off from Aneirin. So I was at a loss for a moment and then I realized I could shuffle around some names so that he was Destin (which had previously been the name of Perrin and Julia's son, who hadn't yet done anything of importance). So now the boything has a name: Destin Palenight. Now hopefully I can get started on the piece. (Of course, now Perrin and Julia's son doesn't have a name, but he might be able to pull off Zorion. He has a sister named Axelle, after all.)
(And then, after all that, I realized that I shouldn't really be concerned about the similarity of names because I have a Leah and a Leon--whose storylines don't intersect, thankfully--and that's not subject to change anytime soon. So conceivably, I could have had an Aerin and an Aneirin. But Destin will remain Destin. It's easier than trying to force the pronunciation EYE-rin for Aerin.)
I started reading Moby-Dick today for English, and what I've read so far (the first six chapters) has been surprisingly amusing. And I've also found hints of Ho Yay. (Damn you, TV Tropes Wiki.) Anyway, I know I shouldn't get my hopes up for this actually being a good book, because I've been assured that there will be times that I will hate this book. But at least it's good for now.